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Up His Own Perineum

, , | Right | December 16, 2009

Me: “Hello, sir, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’m looking for some perennials that don’t need maintenance on it.”

Me: “Well, we have a few that need very low attention, but–”

Customer: “–and I don’t want to water them! I don’t have time for that!”

Me: “Every plant needs water, sir, even cacti, but we–”

Customer: “And they’re gonna be by the pool, so they need to be waterproof, too!”

Me: “Waterproof?”

Customer: “Yeah, so the chlorine won’t affect them and they will not die!”

Me: “So you want some flowers that don’t need maintenance, don’t need water, and that chlorine won’t kill?”

Customer: “Yep, that’s it!”

Me: “Plastic flowers gonna work?”

Customer: “Do you think I am stupid! Get me your manager!”

(I call my manager, and the customer explains everything he wants to them.)

Manager: “Plastic flowers?”

Customer: “You guys don’t know anything about gardening!”

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