Unscrew That Foot From Your Mouth

, , , , | Legal | August 27, 2020

I’ve just recently had orthopedic surgery — putting screws in my foot — and am recovering at home. I have to stay in bed for six weeks to heal. It’s not very fun, but I have an abundance of books and games to keep my attention. My boyfriend has been taking care of me and our few close friends have been visiting when they can.

One day, I get a phone call from a number I don’t recognize, but I answer anyway, as I don’t get calls very often and I’m bored.

Me: “Hello?”

Scammer: “Hi there. Am I speaking to [My Name]?”

Me: “Yes, how can I help you?”

Scammer: “I’m calling to let you know of a great opportunity we have at [Gym in my area]! We’re offering a free two-week trial with a personal trainer, and we’re also offering a discount on your membership—”

Me: *Interrupts* “Excuse me. I’m sorry for interrupting, but I’d like you to take my name and number off your call list. I’m not interested in using the gym.”

Scammer: “Oh, but we have other deals right now, too, since it’s almost summer! Let me tell you about—”

Me: “I’m sorry, I know you’re just doing your job, but I’m not interested. How did you get this number, anyway?”

Scammer: “I can see over here that you’ve left your information with us—”

Me: “Uh, nope. I’ve never been to your gym before. Or any public gym, for that matter.”

Scammer: *Quickly backtracks* “Oh, my apologies, I’m looking at the wrong form. A friend of yours gave us your number when they were in—”

Now I’m laughing.

Me: “Yeah, no, that didn’t happen. You see, I’m recovering from foot surgery and any relative or friend knows that I’m not mobile and won’t be for the next few months. There’s no way they ‘left’ my information with you. Please don’t call me again.”

Scammer: *Pause* “I can hold the offer if you want to train your foot back to normal with a personal trainer, once you can come in?”

Me: “Wow.” *Hangs up*

They actually called me again about a week later with the same spiel, so I told them to f*** off and not call me again. Thankfully, this time, they listened.

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