United In Your Reaction
(We are on a plane about to embark. Just as the plane is going to push back, the pilot gets on the loudspeaker. We’ve been delayed because a late passenger pushed through the emergency door and touched the plane, so it’s a federal matter. We have to see what the TSA and police want to do. We overhear a conversation between another passenger and a flight attendant.)
Passenger: “So, you stopped that lady from getting on the plane? Did you have to tackle her?”
Flight Attendant: “No, I just put my hand out, like so, and stopped her.” *pause* “At least we didn’t go United on her.”
(Other passengers go silent as we all process what she just said and then we cracked up laughing.)
Flight Attendant: “Oh, dear. I can’t believe I said that. Am I turning red?”
(She was. All the passengers that heard her loved it. Luckily, we left almost on time and not too delayed.)