Unhealthy Set Of Questions

(I am visiting Canada as part of my vacation, which, yes, I am taking solo. I come into Vancouver on the train from the USA. The Customs official asks me fairly normal questions like where I was born and when I’m departing, until…)

Customs Official: “And what is the purpose of your visit?”

Me: “Tourism. I’m on vacation.”

Customs Official: “Do you make a habit of vacationing alone?”

Me: “Um, yes, I suppose I do. I usually vacation alone once a year or so. I like my ‘me’ time.” *laughs*

Customs Official: “Well, that’s weird. How do I know you’re not trying to cross the border for free healthcare?”

Me: “Well, I’m in generally good health, so I don’t think that’s a concern unless something sudden and unexpected comes up. To your direct question, I live all the way on the other side of the US, so I suppose if I were trying to cross the border just for free healthcare, I would most likely fly directly to Toronto or Montreal rather than go all the way across the country first? I’ve already shown you my return train ticket for a few days from now, and I have my return plane reservation to go home a couple days after that, if that helps. Besides, I have insurance with international coverage. I’d probably pay more in Canada than the US with that insurance, but I’m happy to show you my insurance card, too.” *takes out insurance card*

Customs Official: “Yeah, I guess that makes sense, but it’s just weird that you’re traveling alone. It’s suspicious, you know.”

Me: “I guess you maybe don’t see a lot of people traveling alone for vacation, but I promise you I’m just on vacation. I met up with friends in other US cities on this trip before I came here, and am now spending a little down time alone to relax and do what I want. Taking a few days alone isn’t for everyone, but I really enjoy it!”

Customs Official: “I don’t know; you seem awfully suspicious to me.”

Me: “I know many people don’t vacation solo, but I promise I’m just spending a few days solo to relax.” *light bulb* “Hey, maybe this would help? Ask me what I do.”

Customs Official: “What? Okay? What is your employment situation?”

Me: “I’m employed by the U.S. Federal Government. Here is my work ID, official passport, and, if you’ll note, my insurance is through the U.S. Federal Government employee plan. Please don’t scan my official passport; I’m only allowed to use that for work travel.”

Customs Official: “Well, why didn’t you just SAY that? Welcome to Canada.”

(The most frustrating Customs experience I’ve ever had. Never knew going to Canada for four days alone was so “suspicious!”)