Unhappy Holidays, Part 8

, , , , , , | Right | December 23, 2018

(During the holiday season, I naturally say, “Happy holidays,” as I am not religious. It isn’t a political thing; I just find it inclusive so I don’t have to guess their religion and risk discrimination, and I personally like it when people say, “Happy holidays.” However, in customer service, this means I’m personally starting a war on Christmas. I have just finished piercing someone’s ears with a special Christmas tree earring we have for the holiday season.)

Me: “All right, go home and take care of your ears! They’re like open wounds, so you have to clean them. Happy holidays!”

Girl: “Thanks!”

Mother: “How dare you?! You just pierced her ears with Christmas trees, and you have the gall to say, ‘Happy holidays’? You know what we celebrate!”

Me: “It’s just an inclusive phrase, ma’am. I don’t like to assume anything. Merry Christmas.”

Mother: “I’ll have you fired, you Satanist.”

(I am not fired, nor does she complain to any manager or supervisor. In the same job, within the same week, I pierce the ears of a girl who really likes “Frozen.” We happen to have Elsa earrings on sale for a holiday price, so she gets those.)

Me: “Thanks, and happy holidays!”

Mother: “You just pierced her with Frozen earrings, so you must know we are Christian and celebrate Christmas!”

Me: “What?”

Mother: “Elsa is Christian! It’s a Christmas movie!”

Me: “Uh, what part about the movie makes you think it has anything to do with religion? She’s an ice princess in a cold climate.”

Mother: *begins, then realizes she can’t come up with anything* “Okay. Happy Hanukkah.”

Me: “…?”

Unhappy Holidays, Part 7
Unhappy Holidays, Part 6
Unhappy Holidays, Part 5

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