Rated ‘M’ For Mom

(My boyfriend and I look nothing alike. He is five inches taller than me, has dark curly hair, and is as thin as a toothpick. He also has a really dark complex. On the other hand I am blonde, have an athletic build, and am freakishly pale. We are in a video game store and he is making a purchase.)

Cashier: “Okay, sir, this game is rated M for mature, so I need to see some ID.”

Boyfriend: “Sure, no problem.”

(My boyfriend starts to reach into his pocket to grab his ID when the cashier notices me.)

Cashier: “Ma’am, I need to let you know that this game is unsuitable for people under the age of 17 due to graphic violence, blood, and swear words. So I need to see your ID.”

Me: “Why do you need to see my ID? I’m not buying anything.”

Cashier: “This game has violence and blood, and may be unsuitable for him, so I have to let his parents know.”

Me: “I’m not his mother, so there really isn’t a reason for you to tell me or ask for my ID.”

Cashier: “It is rated M, which is a rating from the ESRB saying that there is graphic violence and blood, and shouldn’t be played by anyone under the age of 17.”

Boyfriend: “Erm… dude, I’m 20.”

Me: “I’m 19, and I’m not making a purchase. ”

Cashier: “If you’re not making a purchase then I’m going to ask you to leave, as your son is not old enough to make this purchase.”

(At this point I am starting to get self-conscious.)

Me: “[Boyfriend], do I really look old enough to be your mom?”

Boyfriend: “Nope.”

(My boyfriend hands his ID to the cashier, who just continues to look at me expectantly.)

Cashier: “Ma’am, I need your ID.”

(My boyfriend ended up asking for the manager, who was just as insistent that I need to show my ID so my ‘son’ can buy a game.)