Unfiltered Story #66963

Langhorne, PA, USA | Unfiltered | October 4, 2015

I work in a relatively small amusement park just outside of Philadelphia. People come from all over to see the characters that the park is known for. While the prices are quite high, park employees have no responsibility for them and can’t change them at all.

Me: Hi! Welcome to [Park Name]! How can I help you?

Guest: You can tell me why the prices here are so f***ing high!

Me: Well, I have no control over the prices-

Guest: What do you mean, you have no control? Don’t you work here?

Me: Well, yes, I do work here, but I only sell the tickets, I don’t control the corporation that decides the price.

Guest: That is ridiculous! I demand you give me the lowest possible price!

Me: Do you have a coupon or a season pass? Or do you know someone with a season pass? Or are you the family member of an active military soldier?

Guest: ….No, but what does that have to do with anything?

Me: Those are the only ways to get a discount.

Guest: …I want the season pass then. At least then I only have to pay once.

She then proceeds to purchase four of the most expensive of the three types of season passes that the park offers. So instead of storming off in a huff like I expected, she spent more money after ranting about the high prices.

Guest: Thank you!

Me: [I wave absently] [to my coworker, I say]: did that just happen?

Coworker: I’m just as surprised as you are.

Unfiltered Story #27875

Richland, WA, USA | Unfiltered | October 3, 2015

(My friends and I tend to be…eccentric. One night, Friend 1 says my name while trying to address Friend 2.)

Friend 1: Hey, Kevin. Wanna play Pathfinder?

Friend 2: Sure.

Me: *yelling from my bedroom* HEY, FRIEND! I’M KEVIN, AND SURE.

Friend 3: Hahaha! “I’m Kevin!”

Friend 1: I’M KEVIN! No. Now he’s Kevin, too. I’m Kevin, too. She’s Kevin, too. We’re all Kevin!

Me: Mwuahahah! I’m spreading…you will all be assimilated. Resistance is futile.

Friend 1: Hey, Kevin. Kevin’s giving me weird looks again.

Me: Yeah. What’s up with that Kevin?

Friend 3: What?

(This continues for a bit, until…)

Friend 1: Everyone’s Kevin! It’s like a disease!

Friend 3: Kevin grew.

Friend 1: Hehe. Kevin’s a growth.

Me: Technically, true. Kevin did grow. All Kevins grew.

Friend 1: Did you know that most Kevins breathe air?

Me: Wrong. Most Kevins breath Kevins.

Friend 1: Is everything turning into Kevin?

Me: Kevin is indeed Kevin into Kevin. (Everything is indeed turning into Kevin.)

Friend 1: Kevin Kevin is Kevin Kevin.

(And so it begins…)

Unfiltered Story #47573

Oxford, UK | Unfiltered | October 3, 2015

(My great aunt is famous for being incredibly brash and tactless. This is one of her many gems)

Great Aunt: (to my dad) I just want to congratulate you on your two beautiful girls. They are so lovely, and I wish them all the happiness in the future.

Dad: Thank you (to my mum) you are beautiful too.

Great Aunt: Yes, we are all beautiful. In our own ways.

Me: *taken aback*

Unfiltered Story #56601

USA | Unfiltered | October 3, 2015

(This is many years ago when my husband and I were just dating, I was working a second job as a bartender as I was a single mom of 2. On this particular evening it was my night to get off early of my bar was slow. My husband and his brother, sister-in-law, and best friend came into my bar just before I was released.)

Husband: Ok, you’re off, lets go to (bar under new management across town).

(We head there, but then I remember, since I was working I didn’t have my purse/ID with me. I ALWAYS got ID’d at bars at which we weren’t regulars.)

Me: I don’t have my ID, they won’t serve me.

Husband: I’m sure it’ll be ok.

We walk into the bar.

Bartender: (to me) ID please

Me: (starts giggling)

Bartender: (VERY angrily) Well, I HAVE to see your ID! See those two guys down the bar? They’re COPS! I could get ARRESTED! (I knew them, they weren’t cops.)

Me: No, no, I’m sorry, I was just giggling because I just told (husband) I would get ID’d. I work at (bar) and I totally get it! We’ll just go somewhere else.

We leave, as we’re driving away…

Husband: Wow, she was a real b*&^c! We just live up the street, lets go get your ID and go back.

We go get my purse/ID and go back. Note, it’s approximately midnight, closing time is 2am. We walk back into the bar. Again, Note, I’m the OLDEST out of our group by at least 2 years.

Bartender: ID’s!! ALL of you! Now!!

We all show ID.

Bartender: Ok, WHAT do you want? Make it quick, I’m about to close! (We look around questioningly, as there are about 12 people scattered around the bar)

Husband: I’ll have a (beer).

Brother In Law: I’ll have a (Beer)

(We all order about the same thing. Bartender gets out 6 ounce juice glasses and starts filling them with draft beer we didn’t order, all our beers were bottles or cans)

Brother-In Law: Hey! I don’t know about the rest of you guys, but I haven’t had a drink all night! I’d like the beer I ordered, or at least a regular sized draft!

We all agree.

Bartender: (Extremely angry) THAT’S IT!! Get out!! ALL OF YOU!! AND YOU!! (Looking directly at me) ARE A SMART A$$!!

We all look confused and leave. The next day my husband returned as he knew the owner. The owner told him the bartender reported that at 2 am, when she was cleaning up to close, a “bunch of rowdy kids” came in and she had to throw them out. My husband informed him that it was me, a paralegal (and part-time bartender at (well known bar), him, a local business owner, his brother, a corporate attorney and his wife and our friend, a transport company owner. As it was only midnight we would have sat there and had a few each and tipped generously, but as we were treated so badly, we wouldn’t be back. Needless to say I heard that bartender didn’t work there anymore after that. And that’s the one and only time in my life I’ve EVER been kicked out of a bar…because I was OLD ENOUGH TO DRINK, and proved it!

Unfiltered Story #32147

USA | Unfiltered | October 3, 2015

(My class is an advanced math/science course, so we get to go on an overnight educational field trip. The place we are going is a few hours away, so we are watching movies on the bus. Right now the movie ‘Mr. Peabody and Sherman’ is playing, a movie that involves time travel.)

Other Student: (referring to events in the movie) That’s how I’m going to get a girl. I’ll offer her a trip on my time machine.

Me: I already have a time machine!

Other student: You do?

Me: Yep!

(Sure enough, I pull out a miniature Doctor Who TARDIS from my backpack. It’s a container for a card game I brought on the trip)

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