Unfiltered Story #67135

Oak Park | Unfiltered | March 23, 2016

(A customer walks up to my register with eight small and light items in her arms)

Me: Paper or plastic, ma’am?

Customer: I have my backpack.

(I ring her up and she pays and goes to pack her groceries in her backpack. Another three other customers come up and I ring and bag them up as she puts her items in her bag)

Customer: I need these [groceries] in a paper bag.

Me: That costs twelve cents.

Customer: And I need it quadrupled.

Me: … All your items will fit in one paper bag. They come doubled.

(She proceeds to bag everything by herself and then puts the paper bag in her backpack)

Customer: This is too heavy. I want to return this… And this… And this…

(She proceeds to pull five of the eight items out of her bag)

Me: um…

(At this point my manager notices that this customer has been here a while and comes over to help. Instead of giving her cash for the things she wants to return, he decides to void the entire transaction)

Customer: Wait, what did you do?

Manager: I made it so everything you purchased has been voided.

Customer: But what did I buy?

Manager: Nothing.

Customer: …

Manager: What did you want to purchase?

Customer: I don’t know! What did I buy? This is too confusing!

(She leaves, muttering curses)

Unfiltered Story #28046

Internet | Unfiltered | March 23, 2016

(At a website for art there is a sexually explicit picture produced by a rather popular professional artist. While certain parts of the picture are concealed, unless you pay the artist for the full version, you can clearly see a female angel and a female demon in a heavy make-out session.)

Commentator: what is yuri?

Me: Yuri is a bit of American or at least English-speaking slang implying explicit sexual content of a lesbian nature. Shoujo ai would be lesbian romances but not necessarily with explicit sex.

Living in Japan, you don’t see “Yuri” used in this way much really.

Commentator: oh….das gay

Unfiltered Story #47742

Germany | Unfiltered | March 23, 2016

My sister is talking to our mother. She wants to ask her about the location of [village]. But she accidentally says:

Sister: When is [village]?

Mother: It’s very steep there.

Dad: *facepalm*

Unfiltered Story #56768

Lara, Victoria, Australia | Unfiltered | March 23, 2016

(A telemarketer rings, and I decide to have a little fun this time)

Telemarketer: Hello, may I speak to Mrs. (Name) please?

Me: (In perfect English) I’m sorry, I don’t speak English. (Hangs up)

Unfiltered Story #32314

VA, USA | Unfiltered | March 22, 2016

(I’m in one of my biology labs. This particular lab period was spent identifying fish we’d caught from some local streams, and by the end of it, my lab partner and I have scientific names coming out of our ears. As we’re cleaning up, he picks up the trash can and asks me…)

Lab Partner: “Hey, what’s the scientific name for a trash can?”

Me: “Uh, Trashicus canicus?”

(He nearly fell on the floor laughing.)

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