*This happened at my house between my aunt and her 13 year old grandson(who I will refer to as cousin in this story)*

Cousin: (sits on my aunts electric scooter and farts)

Aunt: Get your booty off of my scooter before you put a hole in it.

Cousin:You mean like I did to my bed?

Aunt:Did you fart a hole into your bed?

Cousin:No.

(Everyone starts to laugh)

The phone rings just as I’m about to set it down. I answer.

“Hello?”

Old man: “STOP CALLING HERE!”

“Um . . . Sir, YOU called ME.”

”NO I DIDN’T!”

“Yes, sir. My phone rang. I answered it. You yelled at me.”

“I DID NOT CALL YOU! YOU CALLED ME! STOP CALLING HERE!” *click*

I rarely curse, but looked at my husband and said, “What the f*** just happened?”

(Three Japanese boys come to my college’s Japanese language and culture club for a Shodo (calligraphy) event. Of course, they are better at writing calligraphy than us. I practice the Japanese I have learned with them and exchange social media. We ask them their majors.)
Boy 1: Business.
Boy 2: Economics.
Boy 3: My major is row.
(We are really confused and ask him the word in Japanese)
Us: Oh! Law!! Your major is law!!
Boy 3: Yes!

(My major is global Asian studies, and as a part of my major I have to take Japanese. It has become my favorite class and I really enjoy it. Before the pandemic, a group of students from various Japanese universities are visiting and taking some sort of English workshop for 2-3 weeks. One of the girls invites me to sit with her and her friends at lunch. My Japanese is very basic and limited, so I used a translator app for the majority of the time. They were very nice despite the language barrier. We talk about normal things like anime, BTS, Starbucks drinks, and boys. Everything goes well until this one exchange:)
Girl 1: You look like a door.
Me: Doa desuka? (A door?)
Girl 1: No, a door.
(I keep saying stuff like “a door??” “Really?’ I think of Japanese words quickly)
Me: Oh! Ningyou desuka?? (Is it a doll)
Girls: Yes!
Me: Arigatou!!
(Keep in mind, I have fair skin, long dark brown hair, and only 5’4 {162 cm} so I can totally see why they thought I looked like a doll! I’m still in contact with them. I hope to study abroad in Japan after the pandemic dies down.)

(Our Chemistry teacher starts handing out forms at the start of the class. We quickly figure they’re a surprise test and react accordingly, because it’s not the done thing, unless most of the class plays truant often, which we don’t. A classmate in particolar lets out a loud blasphemy.)
Teacher: “You’re misunderstanding. This Is not a test. I just need to assess the general level of comprehension.”
(The general level of comprehension is dismal, in no little part because the teacher cannot teach worth a fake penny. However, this pacifies the feelings enough for us to sit down and fill the stupid forms. Most people just fudge them. At the end of the class, the teacher collects the forms.)
Teacher: “I think I’ll need a couple days to grade these, so i’ll bring them back next week. Bye!”
(Utterings of “she’s _grading_ them?” slithered across the class. Most of us were just too gobsmacked to react in any way, except for that guy, who uttered another horrific curse before the teacher could be out of the room!
The result were, of course, a bloodbath. It would be two years before i was taught Chemistry properly – at the uni!)