(My mother is setting up a doctor’s appointment for me. The office is small enough that all of the staff are at least somewhat familiar with every patient. I have literally never acted my age and my family likes to joke that I’m secretly an old lady.)

Mom: “You know she’s just a month shy of eighteen. Should I come in with her?”

Receptionist: “Nah, she’ll be fine. She’s been forty since forever anyway.”

I’ve posted a couple of stories on here about my mother in law. So, here’s another one.

Today I got a call about my mammogram I had f
done a week ago on September 1. They called me back to back because I didn’t hear my phone ring so you know it’s not good. Anyway they told me a change showed up since last year’s and I need an ultrasound done.

I don’t drive and it’s not far from where my mil works so I made the appointment for 8:45 on the next day she works and told the lady I’d call back if I had to change it. For perspective she starts at 10 and the hospital is around 10 minutes away. There’s also stores that she can pop into if need be.

Anyway she said it was too early and I said I’d try to get it for Friday and maybe my mom could take me since I was visiting them this weekend anyway. I’d just go a day early. When I call back the Friday time slot is full. So the woman on the phone says about 10:45 Thursday. My mil is basically screaming like a banshee saying why don’t I wait til next week and they should have called me before now.

I’m stressed but make the appointment. I go upstairs and call my mom to give her the news and ask if she’d be willing to come on Thursday and bring me home since I’d be waiting for my husband to get off of work. No problem. I’m in tears on the phone because my mother in law is basically blaming me that they didn’t call me sooner and I’m sorry, I don’t want to wait til next week to have a test that could potentially change my life.

Sometimes I wish she’d just move out and be done with it.

(An Austrian cellphone number has been trying to reach me, but I just barely miss answering the phone in time. Since I’m job-searching, I assume it’s a place I applied to. They manage to reach me at one point, but I remain wary because they didn’t leave a message when I didn’t answer previously.)

Me: Hello? [My Full Name].

Caller: Hello? You took part in [some mumbling that sounds like it contains the word ‘Gamescon’] and you have won a flight-

(I hung up. I don’t recall participating in anything like that, and winning a flight would do me no good. Not only because I don’t care for travelling, but also because flying would be a dumb thing to do in the middle of a pandemic.)

(My cinema is one of the oldest in the country and is rumoured to be haunted by the ghost of a former philandering manager. I think it’s hilarious and have decided to learn as much as I can about the incident. No one else knows anything much about it. On this day it is really slow and I’m not feeling great already, standing alone at the ticket stand and praying for time to pass faster. An old man comes in.)

Man: “I’m interested in old buildings. Can you tell me about the history of this one?”

(I start to explain the history and get about two sentences in before he cuts me off.)

Man: (rudely) “You’re speaking too fast and too quiet! Get me someone who can talk normally.”

(It isn’t actually part of my job description and I’ve just come out of the backside of a panic attack so before I say anything I might regret I pick up the walkie talkie.)

Me: (sweetly) “I’ll just get a manager for you.”

(Jokes on him. My supervisor knows nothing and I get to go back to scrolling NAR just out of sight of the cameras.)

(This happens when I’m playing an MMORPG on my phone. A new guy has just joined the guild I’m in, and I recognize him as a former member from the guild we’ve beaten before. For the sake of making this easier I will be Snow, Leader is Leader, my best friend is Crow, and the new guy is Dakku. There are a few important things to mention before continuing. First, I am female with a female avatar. Leader also has a female avatar, but he is male; he makes this known to all people who join the guild so there is no confusion. Second, the game lets you know when a person is not in a guild battle by putting “CPU” next to their name, and there can only be 5 members in the battle at one time. I’ve joined the guild battle early when I see that Crow and Dakku are there as well.)
Me: “Hi guys!”
Dakku: “I will make you pregnant.”
Me: “Excuse me?”
(Dakku ignores me, and my mouth is gaping open. I am the only female online and we can’t interact with the opposing team so I know he was talking to me. I keep rereading to make sure I’m not seeing things or misreading some weird statement, but it stays the same. When Crow later talks about who to focus on, Dakku responds to him while I stay quiet. I take a screenshot of what Dakku said and let him die on purpose when possible. After the battle I go to privately message Leader about what happened, as he was offline.)
Me: “Uh, Leader? I have an issue.”
Leader: “What’s up Snowy?”
Me: “It’s about something that Dakku said during the guild battle. I had greeted him and Crow before the battle began and he said he would make me pregnant. He ignored me when I replied and only talked again when Crow did.”
Leader: “Wow… that is disgusting. Does Crow know?”
Me: “He was in the battle but I’m pretty sure he was afk before the battle began. I told him afterwards.”
Leader: “We’ll talk to Dakku about this.”
(Leader and Crow are pretty close and they can get protective of me, so I figure they’ll ask him together why he said it, maybe bring up that Crow saw it, and then give him a warning or kick him. I get a message later on from our group chat.)
Leader: “Dakku has been kicked from the guild. That a**hole won’t be giving us anymore problems.”
Crow: “I’m sorry Snow, I should have told him off.”
Me: “It’s okay, no need to apologize. What happened?”
Crow: “When we asked him about it he said you were lying about it and he never said anything to you. That’s all he would say.”
Me: “I took a screenshot when he said it! Why would I lie about something like that?!”
Leader: “No clue. But we beat his a** and kicked him after we were done interrogating!”
Me: Thank you guys for believing me. I really didn’t want to have to deal with him further.”
Crow: “Why wouldn’t we? You’re our friend, we gotta look out for you!”
Me: “It still means a lot to me. Thank you guys.”
Leader: “No problem Snowy. And we can deal with him again if he decides to message you or the rest of us.”
(Sometimes I feel I overreacted, getting so uncomfortable when a random person in a game says they’ll “get me pregnant”. But even if I was overreacting, who the h*** thinks THAT’S an appropriate thing to say to some stranger?)