I’m a fitting room attendant at a big box store. Due to the current health crisis, the fitting rooms are closed. There are signs on each door, several at the entrance to the fitting room area, and several more on the wall. I’ll help fold and put away clothes, straighten up the racks, etc, but I’ll still stick close because I’ll still have to answer the phone. I constantly have people come up to me asking to be let into a room. I feel like yelling, “Read the sign, people!” I’ve even seen people come up, look at the sign, and then ask me for a room.
One day, I am putting away clothes nearby, and I see a dad and little girl come up to the fitting rooms. I then hear the little girl.
Girl: Daddy! The fitting rooms are closed!
She then proceeds to read the entire out loud to him. I love, little girl.

(My family is having dinner. I’ve just made banana bread muffins and my youngest brother, who is eight, is lamenting at the prospect of me leaving for college next fall.)

Brother: “What are we gonna do when we don’t have muffins like this anymore?”

Mom: “What’s my banana bread, then, chopped liver?”

Brother: “No, but it’s not [my name] bread!”

(My father is the type who can never stop with just one treat, especially if it’s something I’ve made. I’ve made banana bread muffins. Since they came right out of the oven before dinner, they’re still warm, so we decide to each have a muffin for dessert. After finishing his, my father goes to take a second.)

Me: “You already had a muffin. Sit down.”

Dad: “One more?”

Me: “No.”

Dad: “Just one!”

Me: “You’re always going to want ‘one more,’ so just stop at one.”

Dad: “I promise, just one more.”

Me: “No. Don’t touch it.”

Dad: “I already touched it.”

Me: “You are a disgrace.”

Dad: “Nothing new.”

Me: “Dishonor on you. Dishonor on your cow.”

(He stopped after that muffin.)

I just started my new job after taking a year off to calm down after a shitty accident 3 years ago.

At the end of a year I went through a state program to get my CDL (commercial drivers license) so I can drive semis.

The company I started with offered editional training before they released you into the unsuspecting world and I took them up on the offer.

While I was in class I had the following conversation with my instructor during lunch.

Teacher: so what did you do before coming here.

Me: I was a carpenter, but I couldn’t do that anymore thanks to my back.

Teacher: oh, what happened.

Me: I got rear-ended by a semi and broke my spine.

Teacher: and now you have a CDL?

me: yep, funny huh.

We had a good laugh about it and I finished the class with no problems.

While on our way to a family camping trip, my dad and I decide to pick up some fries from a drive-thru since we’re hungry and it’ll be a few hours before we can set up the grill at the campsite. We order two drinks and one medium order of fries. There’s a bit of a wait but nothing terrible. When we get to the window, we pick up the food and drive off. I realize that the bag seems a bit too full to be just an order of fries. I look inside and find two orders of small fries, an order of medium fries and an order of large fries!
We ended up eating most of them on the way to the campsite, but I still wonder how we ended up with four times the amount of food we ordered.