Me: oh excuse me, can I please have you put on a face mask for me?
Client: why? No one else is here.
Me: im here. I count as someone. Please put on a mask.
And this woman ROLLED HER EYES

It breaks my heart that we’re still having this conversation in September of 2020

Boy: “Look! Candy store!”
Dad: “Nope! Keep walking!”
Boy: *soft, mournful squawk*

(My brother works a lot in a freezer, and I think his brain freezes when he comes home. )

Me: “Hey I’m going to [restaurant] do you want some chips?”

Brother: “Hmmm…nah I don’t feel like [Restaurant]. I feel like [Other Restaurant] instead.”

Me: “Ok suit youself. ”

(I go and grab myself some chips along with a sandwich. I return to eat it in my room and my brother bursts in, makes a beeline for my empty chip bag.)

Brother: “Hey! You ate my chips!!”

Me: “What?? You said you didnt want them and that you’d go to [Other Restaurant]!”

Brother: “I never said that!!”

(I avoided him after that. Brain freeze or not, i dont like being gaslit.)

A T-crossing in the neigbourhood has been recently redesigned and priority changed. The road just opened the day before and I’m riding gunshot.

Me: Dad? When we came from the other road earlier, didn’t it have a sign indicating that road has priority?
Dad: Yes. They changed the priority to allow through traffic easier transit. This road has been changed to one-way too, to allow a bettef traffic flow and to prevent the center to clog up.
Me: Well… I noticed the one-way but that sign says we have right of way.

Sure enough, my dad double checks the other road to be sure and although a different sign indicating priority has been used for both roads, both signs do indicate that the road you are on has right of way. My dad happens to know the councilmember responsible for traffic and upon arrival at home, he contacts the councilmember immediately. I can only follow my dads side of the conversation and he is getting more and more frustrated as the councilmember refuses to accept that the wrong signs were put up. He even states that “his men” don’t make errors like that, it is impossible.

Dad: (irate and before hanging up:) Well, if you don’t want to believe me, go check it out. If you are so convinced that no error is made, know this: if an accident takes place, the council will be held liable for damages due to bad signage. If they have a good lawyer, they can come after you and everything you own and I will make sure they know the issue was reported.

The next day, the signage was corrected. To be truthful, the councilmember did call back to thank my dad and to apologize.

We sell many types of batteries, with one of them being called “C” or displayed as “Baby”.

Since it was a quiet afternoon, i was refilling our sales display, when i asked my boss over my shoulder:

Me: “Hey, where do we have the Babies for the salesfloor? Do we keep them in the cellar with the others?”

Unnoticed by me, there were 2 customers between me and my boss, quietly looking at our other displays, thankfully laughing at my choice of words.