Unfiltered Story #32145

USA | Unfiltered | October 1, 2015

(I go to an all-girls boarding school, where most of the students wear very dressy outfits. Just before a formal dinner for the senior class, my roommate notices my clothing choice: a simple t-shirt dress and leggings.)

Roommate: “(My name) – NO. You can’t wear that!”

Me: “But its practical, accordig to dress code, and i like it. Seems fine to me.”

Roommate: “But you’ll look like a… a nerd.”

(I glance around at my collection of classic novels and books on astonomy, the knitted sweaters in my laundry pile, and the huge amount of school supplies on my desk.)

Me: “You know, somehow I think that my dress is probably the least of my worries when it comes to the nerd alert…”

(I wore the dress and leggings, and with much pride.)

Unfiltered Story #66960

Belfast UK | Unfiltered | October 1, 2015

The customer is a well mannered gentleman with a job as director of a government agency.

Me: I’m afraid I’ll need you to call into one of our stores with ID, like a passport.

Customer: Can I fax it to you?

Me: The only problem with that is I cannot see you down the telephone line.

Unfiltered Story #27873

Lexington, KY, USA | Unfiltered | October 1, 2015

Me: So I found this book at the store, and it reminded me of [My Dog]. It’s called How To Live With A Neurotic Dog.

Friend: Huh? So you’re saying [My Dog] likes to strip naked and dance?

Me: … I said NEUROTIC, not EROTIC!

Unfiltered Story #47570

NY | Unfiltered | September 30, 2015

(I’m offering my family ice cream, but I skip asking my dad because he’s sick and ice cream will make him feel worse)

Me: (asking mom) Hey, do you want ice cream?

Mom: No thank you, I’m good.

Me: (asking sister) Do you want ice cream?

Sister: Ooh, yes please.

Me: (asking grandma) Do you want ice cream?

(My grandma is deaf)

Grandma: WHAT?

Me: DO YOU WANT ICE CREAM?

Grandma: WHAT?!

Me: *mouthing words* ICE… CREAM.

Grandma: Oh, yes please.

(I walk off to the kitchen)

Dad: Hey, what about me?

Me: You can’t have ice cream, you’re sick.

Dad: But… it’s the thought that counts.

Me: Fine. Do you want ice cream?

Dad: No, I’m good. (grins and goes back to watching TV)

Unfiltered Story #56598

Spanish Fork, UT | Unfiltered | September 30, 2015

Note: my mom is known to be a little scatterbrained on occasion.

I run into my mom at the grocery store, and we shop together for a while. She then begins to wander, claiming that she’s just following me, even though I’m walking behind her. Later, when she jabbed, she parks in a no-parking area, presumably to look for something in her car.

Me, driving by: “That’s not a parking spot!”

A few minutes later, I see a car backing up into traffic a few lanes over. I realize it’s my mom.

Me: “That’s illegal!”

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