Not the longest or most interesting story, but I actually witnessed a woman walking around the store and pulling her mask down to cough. Pulling it DOWN. Defeating the entire purpose of the mask.

(I was raised Lutheran, but I never truly believed in the Christian belief system. None of the religions fit my belief except a long-died-out religion called Animism, and even their beliefs didn’t match fully with mine, so I “created” a new religion, meaning I just put a name to what I believe. My family celebrates Christmas so I celebrate too, despite not believing in its origin story. This happens while decorating our Christmas tree.)

Me: Can I put out an offering for Ngyeli (the spirit of sorrow) this year?
Mom: who the hell is Nellie?
My sister: one of their made up “spirits”.
Me: for the millionth time, they’re not made up, I actually believe in their existence the same way you believe in God, so don’t go telling me your beliefs are valid and mine aren’t. Secondly, at least try to pronounce it right. Can I put an offering out for them?
Mom: sure, whatever. I guess.
*gives me annoyed looks for the rest of the evening*

(It’s nice to know I get religious freedom in my own household /sarcasm. At least my dad kept quiet, I think he’s ok with me practicing Spirism. Thank goodness we’re not a super religious family either.)

I work in a cafe, and sometimes, I’ll mess up an order, like bringing someone a latte instead of black coffee. Of course, I offer to take it back, let them have it and bring them what they really ordered as well, or just don’t charge them for it. My favourite kind of customers are those who keep the wrong drink and tip me the amount that I’m not charging them.

We mail out monthly coupons for our customers. Spend so much dollars, on regular price merchandise, get so much off. Lady comes through my check out, and wants to apply the coupon. Me, I’m sorry mam, but the Christmas lights are on sale for half off, so they won’t count towards your coupon total. The lady gets angry about, never being able to use her coupons. I point out that the lights she is buying, are substantially lower than the coupon but, she’s not happy about it. I guess you can’t please everyone.

I’m your stereotypical Asian nerd. My classmate has asked me to be his wingman and wouldn’t take no for an answer. However he quickly got frustrated at how useless I was at wingman duties.

Classmate: *through his teeth* “How hard can it be? This isn’t quantum physics.”

Me: *totally serious* “Agreed. Quantum physics is way easier than this.”

Classmate: *mutters darkly*

Me: “Remind me again why you thought that I’d make a good wingman? You literally could’ve asked any one of our other classmates. Who are, you know, the really hot swim club beefcakes?”

Classmate: “You’re better than them.”

Me: “Only at grades. I’m not the guy that’s good with girls. I’m the guy that’s good at rocket science. So how in the world am I better than them?”

Classmate: “It doesn’t matter! I’ve picked you and you are going to distract [Female classmate] and get her away from [Cute classmate]. Or so help me I will snap you in half.”

Me: “This isn’t going to end well.”

It didn’t. I completely failed at distracting anyone. My classmate didn’t get his date. And he refused to talk to me for almost a year.

Till this day, I’m still not sure why he picked me as his wingman. He was classmates with the bulk of the swim team, whom were the buffest and hottest guys in school. They’d gladly help him out if he asked. Like, they offered to wingman for *me*. And he was way closer to them than I was.

So why did he pick the nerdiest guy in school to be his wingman? That’s a recipe for disaster.