When arguing with my friends we can get passionate. Words may fly and volumes may rise but a split second later we’re good again.
At one point I inserted an expletive at the wrong point in my sentence:
“If you think X about Y, then we are going to have fist-F@$&ing-fight!
…..
That came out wrong”

A recent event reminded me of a time we used to go to a particular restaurant.
Until that is they changed managment and the wait staff.

The service went down hill from there, but what stopped us coming back was what we overheard.

We were sat near the bar and saw a waitress come back from a table dropping her empty tray loudly on the bar.

Waitress 1: ugh there’s a right brat on 22.

Waitress 2 : whats it doing?

Waitress 1: I dunno making stupid noises and dropping things.

Waitress 2: great i’ll be the one that has to tidy that up then!

Waitress 1: why can’t they just teach their kids some manners.

As if it wasn’t bad enough to talk about your customers in ear shot of other customers, we only saw one family leave the restaurant. The child clearly had additional needs.
The parents seemed lovely and thanked the first waitress, apologising for the “disruption”.
Why some people have to jump to conclusions and be so toxic I will never know.

It’s the final week before lockdown ends and I’ve helped rearranged my parents’ entire (small) store from Christmas to spring/Easter, so even though I don’t work there I know the inventory by heart. Customers are allowed to pick up curb side, so my mum puts the calls on loudspeakers and lets me fetch/check the requested items while she talks to the customers.
It’s also important to note that in German, ‘wool’ is often used synonymously for any type of yarn, not only the one spun from some actual kind of wool. Another important fact is that the German word for ‘cotton’ is ‘Baumwolle’, though most people know the English word by now from labels in their clothes. I’m sure you know where this is going…
Customer: I need wool.
Mum: Certainly, what brand and colour?
Customer: I don’t know the brand, but the colour is 242.
*Note: We have a few different brands of wool and yarn. Every brand uses a different colour-coding system. I find one in hot pink numbered 242, the only one with that number across all woollen brands.*
Mum: Is it pink?
Customer: No, it’s 242.
Mum: Could you please tell me what colour that is? Red, green, yellow…? And is it wool, mixed or cotton?
Customer: I can’t tell you what colour it is. I’ve been knitting a Trachtenjacke (a traditional jacket) with it. I don’t know the colour. It’s definitely wool, though.
Mum: Alright. Can you tell me anything else about it? What size of needle do you use, was it a skein or a ball, anything else?
Customer: Well, it does say ‘cotone’ somewhere.
Mum: Oh, that’s actually Italian for cotton –
Customer: No, I’m sure it’s made from wool. It says ‘cotone’ somewhere on the back of the sleeve. It must mean something else.
*Meanwhile, I’ve brought a popular cotton yarn in 242, which is middle grey. This definitely fits the colour scheme for a Trachtenjacke.*
Mum: Do you remember anything else about the sleeve?
Customer: *reads off everything the sleeve in front of us says, starting with the brand she didn’t know, ending with the words ‘100% [cotton in 10 different languages, ‘cotone’ being somewhere in the middle]* So, you see, it can’t be cotton.
Mum: No, that’s definitely cotton. What makes you think it isn’t?
Customer: It says ‘Mix’ on the front.
Mum: It says ‘Mix and match with [other yarns]’. That just means people can use it together with [other yarns]. We definitely have the yarn and colour you want, how many skeins do you need?
*The customer wants 10 and they need to be the same LOT number as hers, meaning they were dyed in the same batch (most of the time, the colour difference is minuscule, but it’s still a valid concern). Mum tells her no can do, we only have two of the last batch left and just received a new shipment, but maybe the last batch is the right LOT number? No, she bought hers 14 months ago. Mum tries to explain what LOT is and that she won’t find the same LOT anymore if it’s been that long. The customer doesn’t believe her and says she’s going to ‘phone around Austria’ to find the correct LOT.
Of course, the following day she phones again, emphatically requesting the last two old skeins and eight of the new ones. We tell her that it would be wiser to take ten of the same LOT, but she doesn’t believe us that the older ones won’t look more similar to her yarn.
She also wanted the same buttons she had on a ~30 year old jacket to match the two. This, we really couldn’t do.*

One night, I get a message on Facebook:

Stranger: Hi [name], I was up the [mountain range] yesterday and found an ID pass from the [employer] matching your name. Is it possibly yours?

(I work for that employer. I was hiking in that area… five weeks ago, and 50 miles from where I live. I hiked up a mountain in a lot of snow – ankle to knee deep. It was downright wrong during the pandemic – I realise that now. I carry my work ID when off duty because, during the pandemic, it entitles me to free public transport. I had not noticed because I also drive.)

Me: Wow! Yes, that is mine. Could I trouble you to send it back to me at [address]? What’s your email and I’ll Paypal you some beer money?
Me: Here’s my picture, it will match the ID.
(I send a selfie.)
Stranger: Oh, no bother. I’ll send it first class tomorrow.
Me: Well, we’ll have to come to some arrangement. I own my own business as [occupation]. If you’re ever in my area, I’ll help you out for nothing.

(That could have been anything. A driving licence, a wallet. It survived five weeks up a snowy mountain, was found by a stranger who found me on Facebook.)

I’m a doctor working the night shift in a psychiatric hospital. During the night, I’m the only doctor present for the whole clinic (~500 patients) and am carrying the emergency phone I have to be available on at all times.
Somehow, it seems someone outside the clinic has gotten a hold of the emergency phone number.
Caller: Hello, my name is [name] and I’m the father of [patient].
Me: How can I help you? Please give me a moment to look him up in our computer system.
Caller: [Patient] was transferred to [other hospital treating physical diseases] this afternoon. (He makes a portentous pause.)
Me: Uh-huh. So what can I do for you?
Caller: WHY WAS I NOT NOTIFIED??!
Me: I don’t know. I wasn’t here this afternoon and I’ve never met your son. I’m only here to cover emergencies during the night. Is there an emergency with your son? You’ll want to notify [other hospital], since they’ll treat him for now.
Caller: NO! YOU tell me NOW why I wasn’t notified when YOU moved MY SON to another hospital!
Me: That wasn’t me, and as I already said, I don’t know. You’ll have to call tomorrow morning to talk to the doctor in charge of his treatment. I’m sorry, but if there’s nothing I can do for you, I’ll end this call now. I have to be available for emergencies in our clinic.
Caller: You can tell me which ward in [other hospital] he’s on!
Me: I don’t know. Even if I did, your son is an adult and didn’t sign any papers regarding medical confidentiality towards you. Please call [other hospital]. The number is…
Caller: AAAAAARGHH! YOU’RE USELESS! WORTHLESS! WHAT’S YOUR NAME!! I’LL SUE YOU AND ALL OTHER CROOKS IN YOUR F***ING USELESS CLINIC!
Me: My name is [name]. Have a nice evening. *Click*
Fortunately, there was no actual emergency during the time of this call. With a father like that, I’m honestly not surprised the son ended up in our clinic.