I teach supply chain management to MSc students. It is the first week of the new year, and I introduce myself and the subject to the students. Both is clearly displayed on the screen. Most students have first degrees in engineering, several years of experience in industry, and many of them are already teaching in their home countries. We discuss this, and they even give them time for a group activity. At the end of the first hour, two students approach me. They had finally just realised that they are in the wrong room: they are first year undergraduates in political science. Apparently, it didn’t occur to them that I was the wrong person, teaching the wrong subject, to the wrong kind of students.

(I’m showing some friends a music video on my computer. At the end of the song, the reprise of the first verse is intentionally distorted, and the video is likewise distorted to look like a grainy, malfunctioning old videotape.)

Friend: Woah woah WOAH!

Me, Everyone else: What!?

Friend: *looking really freaked out* You guys hear that too, right?

Me: Hear what?

Friend: The song! Dude, I think something’s wrong with your speakers!

Me: You mean the tape hiss? The way the song was suddenly different at the end there?

Friend: OH MY GOD, I thought I was having a stroke or something! Why would they do that?!

Me: *enters teachers/workers room*

*The two English teachers inside start laughing evilly*

Me: *laughs evilly as well*

*The two teachers stop laughing and start staring at me, thus leading to an awkward silence*

One of the teachers: … That was a good one.

(I have an identical twin brother who goes to the same school as me. We’re often confused for one another. A random girl approaches me)

Girl: “Michael! I hate you! I hope you f***ing die!”

Me: “What? What did I do? I don’t even know you. And my name is Mark, not Michael. Michael is my brother.”

Girl: “Don’t play that bulls***! You said you would call me back and you never did you a**hole!”

(At this point my brother walks up)

Brother: “What’s up bro?” (Sees the girl standing there) “Oh s**t!” (Runs away. The girl then apologizes and chases after my brother, shouting curse words)

I am in line at a store, trying to purchase breakfast and a drink for my lunch. The cashier is obviously new at her job, and subsequently still learning which buttons to press, etc. I am trying to purchase a coffee, a doughnut, and a sports drink.

Cashier: “Ugh. This drink won’t scan. Honey, can you run back to the display and grab another drink with a clearer bar code?”

Me: “No. I think you’re just putting the scanner too close to the code. Move the bottle back an inch or two and try again.”

Cashier: “No, that’s not it. Get a new bottle.”

Manager: “What’s going on?”

Cashier: “This bottle won’t scan, so I’m waiting on her to go get a new one.”

Manager: “Try again. I think you’re holding the bottle too close to the scanner again.”

Cashier: “Okay… …your total is $13.50”

Me: “No. You punched in a dozen doughnuts, but I only have one. My total should be more like $5.00.”

Cashier (now angry): “I hit the doughnut button and that’s what came up. That’s what it costs to buy a doughnut!”

Manager: “What’s up?”

Cashier: “She’s mad about being held up in line, so she’s arguing with me about doughnuts.”

Me: “I was charged for a dozen doughnuts, when I only have one. I was simply pointing that out.”

Manager: “Did you even look for the ‘individual doughnut’ button?”

Cashier: “No. I just hit the picture of doughnuts.”

Manager: “This explains so much. Here…”

The manager ended up stepping in and finishing the transaction. As I walked away from the checkout, I saw the people in line behind me start heading for other checkouts, rather than have to deal with the new cashier.