Me: “I’ll have <item> and <item> thanks.”

Cashier: “Sure. Is that all?”

(Unfortunately, I misheard her and thought she asked “Are you South African?”)

Me: *confused* “No?”

(The woman, looking a bit bemused, waits patiently for the rest of my order.)

Cashier: “So did you want anything else?”

Me: “Oh, no thanks.”

(Later, the friend I was with asked me about my weird behavior, and I realised that I had misheard)

(I’m walking wit my new boyfriend to his next class. At this time I’m telling him the story of how my best friend kicked a d***** in the nuts.)

Me: …And she like flipped out and kicked him in the nalls. Buts. Balls. *frustrated and blushing* I can’t do the English stuffs.

Nan: When the tube-you videos stop and there’s that spinny thingy in the middle of it and it’s all jerky, what is that, how do I fix it?

Me: Its buffering, you pause it.

Nan: I didnt pause it! It just stops!

Me: No I know, it’s loading, pause it and let it load.

Nan: How do i pause?

(At the shops at my university, if you bring your own container, you can get a discount on coffee or tea, it’s processed as a refill.)

Me: (hands mug to barista) Coffee please.

Barista: Sure. (fills mug, returns it) So is this a refill?

My mother was eight months pregnant with my younger sister at the time, and I was about three years old. My family and I were going to Turkey from America for vacation to see our family. We are all Turkish so my mom and my dad were speaking to each other fluently. A well dressed man sits in the aisle seat near us and hears my mother and father speak to each other in Turkish. He makes a face at us, catching my parent’s attention. Then he leans over and asks my mother:

“Are you carrying a bomb in your belly?”

The entire flight, we gave him dirty looks (which was actually very fun considering I was oblivious at the time of what he said) and he just avoided eye contact, sheepishly blushing from embarrassment every time he looked our way. For ten hours straight!