(I’m at a friends party and topic of conversation comes up about something similar to a hottest girls list that happened the year before I came to the school. My friend was on the list. My friend also has a boyfriend.)

Friend: Why was I on the list?

Me: You are beautiful Friend.

Other kid who is weird and not my friends boyfriend: You are ducking beautiful I would date you if you would let me!

(I then proceed to burst out laughing for a solid minute)

(It was nearly midnight and I had asked the final guests to leave, politely, as it was way past the legal time allowance for them to vacate the pub. When they refused, I began collecting my coat and bag, ready to go home.)

Female guest: Some people just have a different work ethic don’t they? They take an attitude to a certain job and are lazy.

Me: I’m sorry? What do you mean by that?

Female guest: You take what you see from that. You’re a d***. Your work ethic stinks. You’re lazy. You should sort it out. You’re a d***.

Me: (dumbfounded) Well, that’s a lovely thing to say to another human being isn’t it?

Male guest: You’re a d***. Everyone who works here thinks you are.

(They continue insulting me aggressively, calling upon staff to reinforce the message. They awkwardly retreat.)

(I not only work front of house, which is demanding enough with a small team, but also maintain the pub’s twitter account in my spare time, come in on days off to redo blackboards and train new staff. Lazy?)

(We’re in music, having completed several lessons on re-designing “Now is the Month of Maying”. Two of the three groups have performed so far.)

Teacher: And now from these two thoughtful responses to the task to… (glances around at the last group) …this.

Student #1: *starts playing a ringtone on the keyboard*

Student #2: *mimes swiping up a call on his phone* OI OI MATE GUESS WHAT MONTH IT IS BRUV!

When we lived in California, a lot of my extended family lived close by in the same neighborhood. It was pretty routine to visit one particular aunt, as she had a pool. One day, after coming home from her house, my mother receives a rather interesting phone call.

Mom: oh (younger cousin’s name), I just got off the phone with Aunt (Aunt’s name)…

Younger Cousin: …(her eyes widen)

Mom:….and guess what she found…

Younger Cousin: I didn’t poop in the pool!!

(My family and I had ordered Pizza online from a local Pizza Hut down the road, it was normally easier than calling our order in and having to deal with a poor employee trying to hear us over the roar of a the rest of the pizza place conducting business, along with dealing with other customers. The online order came to $24.53 total for two medium pizzas and a cookie thanks to a deal they were running. Our order ended up being a half hour later than what was expected, and as we were about to call the store the driver shows up with our order, however she had accidently lost the receipt I was supposed to sign since we paid by credit card. With that she said she guessed the order was on her and we left it at that. Fast forward two days later and I find instead of a $24.53 transaction that shouldn’t have been claimed without my signature, I am charged $30.00 by the store so an additional $5.57. It was too late to call the store itself so I call the customer service hotline.)

Customer Service: Thank you for contacting Pizza Hut Customer Care, how may I help you today?

Me: Hi my name is [My Name], I placed an order with one of the local stores two days ago but there is a problem, I was charged more than what I was supposed to be. My order was only supposed to cost $24.53 but an additional $5.57 was added. *proceed to explain that the driver showed up late with the food, and that we were not given a receipt to sign, and how confused I was about the additional fee being added to my order total*
Customer Service: *in a very serious and nervous tone* I am very sorry to hear about your experience Mr. [My surname], normally we are not able to claim the charge without having your signature on the receipt, so the charge should have dropped off your account after 30 days. However, as you have stated this is not the case. I am not able to view order details or payment information, but I will escalate this to upper management so they can pull the order and take a review.

(the representative verifies my account information, email, address, phone number and the date of the order and promises me that a manager will be in touch with me asap. I get a call the following morning from the district manager.)

Manager: Hello, I am looking for Mr. [My name], regarding an order dispute.

Me: That is me, as I explained to customer service, I am not disputing that I made the order just how much I was charged. The driver showed up and told me she had lost the receipt that I was supposed to sign, to be honest I thought nothing about it. Then I saw that I was charged $30, instead of the $24.53 that I was supposed to pay. My understanding was that you wouldn’t be able to claim the charge without my signature, but the only problem is I paid more than what I should have.

(up until this point the manager had had a rude tone, and clearly had not understood what the actual issue was. After I explained that it seemed like the driver added a tip to my order and may have signed my name without my permission the manager became very nervous and worried.)

Manager: I am sorry for my misunderstanding Mr. [My Surname]. Sometimes our drivers may misplace a receipt and we will just do a reprint, but obviously it won’t have your signature on it. I will need to take a look at the order and the paperwork when I get to the store in a couple of ours, but it does sound like someone may have added a tip to your order. Can you tell me what the driver looks like? Or what car they were driving.

(I gave the manager my best description of the driver, and explained that since we live in an apartment complex and our apartment is in the back of the building that I wouldn’t have been able to see the car.)

Manager: I see, I am pretty sure I know who you are talking about. We had other problems with her that night and had to let her go. When I get to the store I will make sure to double check your order and we can process a refund. Would you like that as a cash refund or does it need to go back to your credit card?

Me: It would be better if it could go back to my credit card, but if it is too much hassle the cash refund will be fine. Would somebody be able to drop it by my apartment, I don’t have transportation to the store.

Manager: We would be able to do that, I will have a driver drop it by later today. I am very sorry that this has happened to you, and I want to personally thank you for being so kind about the matter.

(I had not started the call screaming and shouting, nor did I use a rude tone throughout the conversation I just wanted the issue corrected, and I have been in the manager’s shoes before.)

Me: I understand, I have had to deal with things like this before. Please have a wonderful day.

(a driver popped by shortly after that with the refund for our order, and a note from the manager telling us that we had a credit on our account for free food to use the next time we placed an order, as a thank you for our continued service. We still order from them, but if a driver shows up without a receipt again we call the store while the driver is at the door)