(Even though I’m a shorter person, I’ve always been a pretty fast walker. A lot of the time I try and pass people up when I’m walking on a sidewalk if they’re walking slower than I want to be. This usually isn’t a problem, but…)

Me: (passes older, very slow man on the sidewalk. Note that this was a very wide city sidewalk with only a couple people on it, so it’s not like I was in danger of knocking him over or anything)

Him: (somewhat shouting) Hey, you girl! Stop!

Me: (confused) Me?

Him: Yes, you! Didn’t anybody ever teach you to respect your elders!?

Me: I’m sorry, what?

Him: You can’t just blow past me on the sidewalk like that! It’s impolite!

Me: (stunned into silence)

Him: That’s right now you walk behind me like an obedient child.

Me: (even though I lived on that side of the street, I crossed the street to get away from him, and to walk at my own pace)

(Note: My family runs very heavily to boys, with a ratio of about 3:1 of boys to girls for my grandparent’s progeny. I have a rescue dog who came to me already named, and I didn’t bother to change it).

Grandma: I have six grandsons and great-grandsons named (Grandpa’s name), but there’s no one named after me!

Me: My little dog’s name is (dog’s name). That’s a nickname of (Grandma’s name), right? We can always claim that she was named after you.

Grandma: (Thinks for a moment) You know, that’s okay.

(I was on vacation with my parents and my grandparents for the holiday’s one year. To get the rooms cheaper, my parents had to go to a Time Share Presentation. My parents are both in their early 40’s and my mom started losing the color in her hair earlier in adulthood because of genetics. My mother usually dyes her hair back to it’s original color (brownish black) so her she looks younger. That morning how ever, she had to get up early for the presentation and didn’t have time to do so. After the presentation, while I was out with my brother and grandparents, my parents caught up to us. My mom was obviously furious.)

Mom: The sales man called me old!

(She explained that he was very young and he told them he was the guy that usually just giving the presentation, not the salesperson, which he was today.)

Mom: He kept saying how we were almost his dads age! (His father was in his late 50’s.) And how the time share would be good because we’ll be retiring soon!! He also said it’d be good for the grandchildren!! (I’m the eldest child and am no where near old enough to enjoy having kids.)

Dad: Once we got back to the hotel she wouldn’t let us leave until she colored her hair and put on makeup.

(My mom is still mad about what the sales guy said.)

(I am the customer in the situation. My manager had offered to buy me a drink from the coffee place close to us, and I wrote down my order. Unfortunately because of the way I wrote it, and my bad hanwriting, I got the wrong drink. I ended up going back to fix it. The employee in question is always super nice and friendly to me)

Employee: *smiles* “Hello!”

Me: *smiles* “Hello! My manager had come here a few minutes ago and I had written my order down for her, but I got the wrong drink. But it was probably my fault because I have awful handwriting *laughs* and I am more than willing to pay for a new one”

Employee: “I’m sorry about that! What did you want?”

*tells him my order*

Employee: “Oh I remember that one. I thought you wanted 8 pumps of foffee”

Me: *laughs* “Oh no that’s a lot of coffee”

(He makes me a new drink for free. Now fast forward a few hours. It’s my lunch time and I head back there)

Me: “I don’t think you have seen me enough today!”

Same employee: “Too much!”

Me: *laughs and sets food on the counter* “Hey do you guys ge
Employee: *nods*

Me: *puts $20 in the tip jar*

Every employee: *freezes and stares at me*

Me: “You are always so nice to me and give me great service. I really appreciate it! *smiles*”

I had made everyone’s day there. It feels good!

(I am in Ninth grade, in Biology. My teacher tends to be the really rude type, not exactly strict, though really dumb at times while trying to be serious.)

Me: “I got a low score on this quiz, can I have a retake?”

Teacher: “No retakes on ANY quizzes!”

Me: “…”

*The whole class just stares at the teacher as this is said.*

(Funnily enough, the syllabus she handed out said we could have retakes, and only a couple minutes later, she says we can have a retake. This flabbergasts almost everyone in the room.)