Unfiltered Story #56614

London, UK | Unfiltered | October 16, 2015

I’m working at a big company where one drinks machine is used by several offices. Note that this machine serves both hot and cold drinks including water, but takes its own sweet time brewing hot drinks. Note also that the nearest cold water taps are in the toilets several floors down. While I’m getting drinks for my office a coworker comes rushing out of another office.

Coworker: I need to get some water, quick! [Other Coworker] has just burned his hand!

Me: I wish I’d known that a second ago. I just pushed the button for coffee.

Coworker: Well, stop it and push the button for water!

Me: I can’t stop it. It’s already brewing. I can’t get any cold water out of it until it’s poured the coffee.

Coworker: Why are you being so unhelpful?!

Unfiltered Story #32160

Orlando, FL, USA | Unfiltered | October 16, 2015

I am at an educational talk where the presenter is interacting with children.

Presenter: And where are you from?

Girl: Collegeville.

Presenter: Do you do a lot of surfing in Collegeville?

Girl: Yes.

Presenter: Is it near or far?

Girl: Near.

Presenter: What state is it in?

Girl: Pennsylvania!

Unfiltered Story #27888

Australia | Unfiltered | October 16, 2015

(I’m showing two of my friends my archery bow)

Me: “Here it is. It’s left handed.”

Friend: “Oh, I forgot you were lef-” *stops as though he doesn’t want to offend me* “… weren’t right handed…”

Me: “[Friend], it’s okay. You can say it. I’m LEFT HANDED.”

Unfiltered Story #66975

Denver Metro, CO, USA | Unfiltered | October 16, 2015

(Our call center works with mainly fast food restaurants, most of them known nationally. We only handle certain kinds of store software, redirecting stores who call in with the wrong kind.)

Co-Worker: I apologize, but you’ve called the wrong help desk. For that software you need to call 1-***-***-TACO.

(She’s silent for a moment, listening, and an incredulous looks comes over her face.)

Co-Worker: You spell taco T-A-C-O.

*facepalm*

Unfiltered Story #47586

Atlanta GA | Unfiltered | October 16, 2015

(my dad, sister, and I are working on a project in the garage) Me:(seeing a dirty rag on the table)”What’s that from?”

Dad:(picks up the rag and sniffs it) “Well,it’s not mine anyway”

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