(I am a planning on dressing up as the tenth doctor for the fiftieth anniversary special for Doctor Who because I will be at a college program for the day with a bunch of other geeks. I went to the Goodwill to find a good coat for my costume, but couldn’t decide between two coats, so I went to ask a worker which I should use)

Me: Hi, I have a bit of a weird question for you. Do you watch Doctor Who? I’m trying to put together a tenth doctor costume and couldn’t decide which of these coats would be best.

Worker 1: No, I don’t, but [name] does. I’ll go get him for you. (Leaves to get coworker) Worker 2: So, the tenth doctor? (Worker 2 helps me choose between the two coats, and I thank him. After I pay, as I’m leaving, I hear someone in the store laughing.)

(My mom and I are sitting in a booth at the restaurant TGI Fridays. She orders something that has avacadoes, and it reminds me of some trivia I’d heard at school that day)

ME: “Hey Mom! Did you know that avacadoes have more fruitine than any prote!”

Mom: “They have the .. what?”

Me: “Just… just… never mind…”

(Both of us burst out laughing as I hide my head in my hands. The diners around us begin staring.)

There are two locations of a particular mix-in ice cream store in my city. Even though I really like the ice cream, I rarely go because both locations are a pretty considerable drive; I’ve been to one location only four times since moving to the city several years ago.

When house-sitting for a friend for two weeks, I remember that the location I haven’t been to isn’t too far from her house so I make a special trip out one evening when I really want some ice cream. The employees aren’t very friendly, but I tip pretty generously anyway. I chock their attitude up to it being a very busy evening and they’re probably just tired of dealing with people (the two families in front of me both had several children between them, all screaming, crying, throwing tantrums, and making messes, and they had huge, complicated orders; then they didn’t even tip. I imagine it was probably like that all day, with as warm as it had been).

The day before my friend is set to return from her vacation, I make another trip to the ice cream store to get a big container of ice cream, since I know it’ll be a while before I have a chance to go again. There is almost no one in the store when I get there and I recognize both employees from my last visit.

Me: Hi! How’s it going?

Employee: *shrugs and says nothing*

Me: Can I get your largest take-home of [gives my order with mix-ins], please?

Employee: *sighs heavily* Sure…

Me: Uh…thank you.

*I try to make small talk, but the employee helping me hardly acknowledges me and the other one glares at me, so I give up.*

Employee: *pushes the container towards me* [Total].

Me: *I pay and drop a couple dollars in the tip jar* I hope your day gets better.

Employee: *turns away and ignores me*

(Even though I’ve been out that way several times recently, I haven’t gone back to that location. Their ice cream is not worth being made to feel like I’m causing them trouble or something. I know retail–especially food service–can be pretty horrible, having worked it myself, but their attitude seemed pretty uncalled for.)

At Halloween, a small trick-or-treater came to the door and held up his bag.

His father: “What do you say?”

The boy, with a big smile: “Please!”

Customer: It’s ridiculous that this feature’s been removed! Ridiculous! I need that feature, I’ve used it for years!

Me: I appreciate that sir, but the software is being simplified with each subsequent update, I apologise for the feature loss but this is expected behaviour.

Customer: EVERYONE KNOWS THAT WHEN YOU SIMPLIFY SOMETHING YOU ADD FEATURES YOU DON’T REMOVE THEM!

Me: …I…er…don’t think that’s how it works sir…