Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered
Untouched and raw stories: unedited, uncensored, unformatted, and sometimes unbelievable!

Unfiltered Story #273750

, | Unfiltered | December 4, 2022

My country is in the middle of a political crisis/coup that has involved a huge amount of drama for the past ten days. I’m on a conference call of an activist group when my neighbour’s dogs start sounding off about something. I don’t hear them because I have large headphones on, but obviously my mic picks it up.

Chairperson: There are a lot of dogs barking. Is somebody in Parliament?

Unfiltered Story #273748

, | Unfiltered | December 4, 2022

(My partner is playing a single player game where you equip yourself and your party members and follow a story. They’re visiting a merchant right before a dramatic scene that kills off all the NPCs.)
Partner: “Now, to strip them naked and sell them off!”
Me: “We’re selling the guys, now?”
Partner: “I meant their items!”
Me: “Sure you did…”
Both: *laughing*

Unfiltered Story #273746

, , | Unfiltered | December 4, 2022

Years ago when my daughter was around 2 I had left my ex and was moving into a duplex. My daughter was a little weird and would climb on the end table and dance and I jokingly always said I hoped that wasn’t indicative of her future career.

Well, I had friends and family helping me move and my daughter was just running around the garage (which we were using as a staging area for everything) and dancing. She ran up to a friend of mine and started dancing. He (jokingly) pulled a $5 bill out of his pocket. My 2 year old stopped dancing and lifted up her shirt.

Poor guy about had a heart attack.

He starts yelling things like “I was kidding! It was a joke! I didn’t mean it!”

I told him he was fine, she was just a weird little kid and I knew he wasn’t a perv.

This is the same child that 2 years later when the Mormons came to the door and we were having a lovely conversation (I have no trouble talking to people of other faiths) my daughter had clothes on and suddenly was in her underwear (she shed her clothes any chance she got at that age.) Poor Mormon guys made an excuse to leave and I think I was on a list because I never got a visit from them again lol

Unfiltered Story #273744

, , , | Unfiltered | December 4, 2022

I’m on a train and witness the following exchange.

Passenger: Excuse me, sir?

Conductor: Yes, ma’am?

Passenger: Does this train stop at Central?

Conductor: *pause* Yes ma’am, it will.

Passenger: Oh, good. Thank you!

*Every train stops at Central. That’s why it’s called Central*

Unfiltered Story #273741

, | Unfiltered | December 4, 2022

Friend: So, you’re learning spanish?

Me: Yup.

Friend: Cool, los pollos hermanos.

Me: *realising that he just spoke it, trying to recall what he said* The chicken brothers?

Friend: Wait, it means the chicken brothers? I just thought i’d quote something i’ve heard.

He started laughing which made me laugh aswell. Turns out, los pollos hermanos is a fictional restaurant in breaking bad. It always feels great when i can translate text for people that they previously didn’t know what it meant.