(We are getting t shirts for our section in marching band. I’m a freshman, and am small for my age, talking to two upperclassmen whom are in a relationship.)

Guy( to Girl): I should put Anakin and you should put Padme on our shirts.

Girl: Haha, yeah

Me: Does that make me Yoda?

(They both slowly turn their heads toward me, mouths agape in a smile.)

Guy and Girl: YES!

(The dealership I work at has two different unaffiliated car lines under one management team – I work for the smaller one more obscure one, which has notoriously poor support from corporate and because it’s not a very large manufacturer not many people know the cars well. While I currently work as a Service Advisor I did start my career as a mechanic – my manager loves it, as many of the old-school types of customers don’t expect to have a female advisor who can easily handle the technical questions they throw at me but end up being delighted. Word has gotten around, and now I sometimes get calls from random shops and car owners, not always even in the same state as us, to ask questions. Depressingly, some other calls with questions come from more.. Interesting sources. I am talking to my best friend at work – he works as a mechanic for the other make, and I’m explaining how different things are between the two.)

Me: It’s absolutely ridiculous. There’s one great guy in Technical for the electric cars, but everybody else has no idea what they’re doing. The shop line gets calls FROM Technical Support asking them how things work on the cars so they can answer other dealerships’ questions.

Him: NO.

Me: Seriously! Sometimes they get mixed up about who asked what, because they’ll call and be talking to [coworker] and ask him about a system or a symptom and he’ll have to tell them, ‘Uhm.. That’s my problem car. We submitted the ticket to you because YOU’re supposed to know how it works. You asking me how to fix the car I can’t figure out is not going to help anyone.’

Him: And I thought the [other make] Techline guys were bad.

Me: Sometimes they call me directly and ask me technical questions. I’m not even a certified mechanic for the brand. But CORPORATE is calling and asking ME. THEY built the car!

Him: Yeah, but you’re smart as h*ll. You should apply for a job at corporate! You’d be running the place in weeks!

Me: Sometimes I joke about doing that – it seems like people can be REALLY bad at their jobs there but never get fired, which sounds appealing. But.. I’d have to live in Detroit..

(HIs eyes get very, very big.)

Him: NEVER MIND. I know a few guys from Detroit.. They all got shot at least once by the time they were sixteen. I like you – I don’t want you to get shot. Guess they’ll just have to keep calling you instead!

(A long time ago, I was working with a coworker and we were going to do something after we closed. A few minutes after the lights were off telling customers we are closed, the blue light letting us know that there is a car on drive thru is blinking.)

Me: *To coworker* I wonder when the customer is going to realize that we are closed?
Coworker: *To me* Let’s see.

(It takes about 20-30 minutes to close the store and the light is still blinking. We go and do whatever we were going to do. We drive by to drop me off to my hose which is around where I work, and the light stops blinking while we were out.)

Friend: Sometimes, I wonder if Ricky lost that number.

Me: Sometimes, I wonder if Jenny changed hers.

[I was roaming the halls during lunch when I pass (Debate Teacher’s) classroom. A freshman is sitting outside on his computer, working on a speech.]

Freshman: Wanna write my speech for me?

Me: Uh, no.

Freshman: Please?

Me: I quit (Class) for that exact reason.

*I walk away*

Freshman: *calls* You think I wanna be in this class?