Mistaken identity story. I am shopping at a local wholesale store. Nothing that I am wearing looks like I work here and I am shopping with a cart.

Customer: “Excuse me, I need some help.”

Me: “Oh, well, uhm, I am sure there is an employee around.”

Customer: “That is why I am asking you! I need you to lift this for me!”

She is pointing at a 50 pound bag a flour. I am barely 100 pounds.

Me: “Lady,  I am too small to lift that. That is half my body weight. I am pretty sure the store would not appreciate one of their customers getting injured. I am sure there is someone around who will help you who actually works here.”

Customer: “YOU work here.”

Me: “Uhm, no, I don’t.”

Customer: “Yes, you do! I have seen you here!”

Me: “Yeah, I shop here every other week. That is it. Twice a month. They do not pay me to be here. I don’t work here.”

Customer: “Yes, you do! Now help me, or I will report you!”

Me: “Even if I did work here, which, once again, I do not, I am sure the manager would understand a tiny girl not wanting to lift that bag. Now, find someone who works here and stop yelling at me, please.”

Customer: “Typical young person! Lazy and unwilling to do their job!” She has her hand on my cart so I cannot pull away.

Me: “Listen, lady, I work elsewhere. For the last time, go get someone who actually works here. They should have vests and radios and they sure as heck are not wearing flip flops and a tank top like I am!”

Customer: “I WILL get you FIRED!”

Me: “You have to actually work someone to get fired from it.”

Store employee who happened to overhear the last part: “Ma’am, can I help you?”

Customer: “YES! Radio your manager! I want this skank fired!”

Employee: “Uhm, she does not work here.”

Customer: “Why are you sticking up for her!? I am the customer!”

Employee: “Well, she is wearing out of regulation shoes, she is holding a purse and has a cart full of product. She also has no name tag. Really, there is no reason to assume at all that she works here with us. Now, I am willing to help you.”

The lady actually starts screaming at both of us, while still not letting go of my cart. She is screaming swear words and demanding I help her, still. The store manager does end up getting radioed.

Manager: “Excuse me, what is going on?”

Crazy customer: “Your lazy b**** of an employee wont help me!”

Manager: “She does not work here. She is obviously shopping. Do you think that we let open shoes and purses on the floor for employees? And no one working here will be in a tank top.”

Customer: “HOW DARE YOU? The customer is always right! I will never shop here again!”

She storms off and I am given a coupon for a free meal at their food stand and also got a discount on my groceries.

(I work at a well known sandwich franchise. We offer a special type of sandwich, which is just meat and cheese. Corporate does not allow us to put on any sauces or veggies, only extra meat or cheese. We offer mayo and mustard packets for no extra charge)

*phone rings

Me: *Answers* Thank you for calling ‘sandwich shop’ how may I help you?

Customer: Yes I’d like to place an order for delivery.

Me: Okay, can I have your name and address?

Customer: It’s ‘name and address’.

Me: Okay what can I get for you?

Customer: I’d like a ‘special sandwich’ with mayo.

Me: Unfortunately I can’t add sauce, but we can throw in some mayo packets, is that okay?

Customer: What do you mean?

Me: The ‘special sandwich’ only allows me to put on extra meat or cheese, I can’t put on  any toppings.

Customer: But I only want mayo.

Me: I’m sorry but corporate policy won’t allow me to do that.

Customer: You mean I have to put the mayo on myself?!

Me: Well yes, but the mayo packets are no extra charge. If you want the mayo you can get ‘regular sandwich’ but it will cost slightly more.

Customer: But I shouldn’t have to do that. It’s your job. You should put it on for me.

Me: Ma’am I’m sorry but that’s all I can do for you.

Customer: But last time ‘coworker’ got the same thing with mustard on it!

(This is a business we deliver to frequently and we’ve never had problems with them. We also deliver these types of sandwiches and all follow the policy.)

Me: Ma’am I’m sorry but we’ve never done that.

Customer: I want to speak to your manager.

Me: Ma’am he’s going to tell you the same thing. We cannot add toppings but we can throw in some packets for you.

Customer: So you’re telling me you’re willing to lose a customer because you won’t put may on my sandwich?

(I’m having a bad day and am stressed with school, loans, and life after graduation that I’m not ready to deal with this.)

Me: *Losing it* If it’s with people like you, then yes. I have offered you alternate options that everyone else is okay with. None of your coworkers have every had problems with this, not even ‘boss’. So since you think you’re too good to put on your own mayo, I will not be helping you.

Customer: *Flabbergasted* Well…. whatever. I’m never calling. GOODBYE.

Me: *Hangs up* F***ing b****

Manager: What?

Me: S***

(I turn around and learn my manager and area manager were right behind me the entire time. Luckily both my managers agreed with me and have both known me to be a good employee for 4 years. They let me off phone duty and let me focus on other tasks instead.)

{Some time ago, the company i worked for was shutting down and closing all stores, which was a very stessful time for all staff. It was our last day in the building. There was no stock, all the shelving had been pulled down, sold and was waiting for the new owner o load in his truck, the registers had long since been sold and taken away. We had two large tarps outside with closed written on them. The front door was open for a [big name drink company] representative to pick up thier fridge which had previously been rented by the company but due to the loading dock being occupied had to take it out the front door. Despite all the obvious signs a customer walks in and begins to wander around aimlessly before approaching me where i was disposing of useless paperwork}

Customer: Are you guys open?

Me: *incredulous* I’m sorry mam, this store has been closed down, as have the rest of the stored by this name.

Customer: Oh…is that why it’s so empty?

(My work is doing a secret Santa, and we all pick names out of a hat. Not knowing what my recipient might want, I eventually decide to just give her candy, and pick a small vase to fill with multicoloured layers of gourmet jelly beans. I go to the store to get my beans, and when I am checking out, the bagger is a person with special needs, with a helper standing beside them. He makes an excited sound at the sight of all the delicious jelly beans. I go to the cafe area of the store to fill my vase, keeping a few beans back from each flavour. Once I am done, I bundle up my vase, pour all the leftover beans into one bag, and go up to the bagger.)

Me: “Here, have these!”

(He says nothing and just kind of stares between me and the beans.)

Helper: “Oh, this is a Christmas present! They’re for you!”

(He then makes another excited sound, and gives me a big grin.)

Me: “You’re welcome! I hope you like them.”

Note: This particular restaurant has a kids eat free deal on Sundays.

I was having dinner with my family and noticed the woman at the table next to us having a heated discussion with a server, we overheard the following when the manager came over:

Manager: What seems to be the problem?

Woman: I want a kid’s meal for free. My child is at home.

Manager: Unfortunately if you want to take away a kid’s meal you will have to pay for it

Woman: Why? It says here that kid’s eat free on Sundays

Manager: Yes, they do in store with the purchase of any adult meal

Woman: Where does it say that? Show me your policy where is says kids have to be in store to receive the free meal?

Manager: I’m not sure if it’s specially stated, but the point of the special is to encourage kids to come in store and eat in our restaurant.

I’m surprised the manager handled it as well as she did, and the woman left pretty quickly once she realised she wasn’t getting her free meal.