Me: Good afternoon, thank you for calling [Company], my name is [my name]. How can I help you?
Customer: “Who runs your company out of North Carolina?”
Me: “Hold on one moment while I check on that for you.”
(I put her on hold, so she can’t hear me talk to my supervisor.)
Me: “There’s a Mrs. [Customer] asking who runs the company out of North Carolina?”
Supervisor: “Mrs. [Customer]?”
Me: “Well, she didn’t identify herself, but it’s on the caller ID.”
Coworker: “Did you say Mrs. [Customer]? She owes us money.”
Me: “Uh. What do I tell her? Doesn’t [Manager] run that office?”
Supervisor: “We’ve already transferred her case to [Admin]. Tell her to talk to [Admin].”
Me: *taking her off hold* “Thank you for holding, Mrs. [Name]. Your case is being handled by [Admin]; I can give you her contact information–”
Customer: “I don’t want to talk to [Admin]. And I don’t want to talk to [Manager]. I want to talk to whoever runs your company out of North Carolina.”
Me: “Ma’am, all I can tell you is that your point of contact is [Admin]. Again, I can give you her contact information–”
Customer: “I already have that. I want to be put in contact with whoever runs the company out of North Carolina.”
Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, your case is being handled by–”
Customer: “My attorneys will be handling it.” *click*
(I opened her file to make a case note; it turns out she owes us over 8,000 dollars. Also? Our company is run out of Chicago.)

( I work in a pharmacy as a technician.)

Co-worker: *slams phone on holder* ….. How long was I on the phone?

Me: 15 minutes.

Co-worker: I just spent 15 minutes convincing a woman not to put a tampon into her urethra. I don’t know who told her that it was a good idea to put a tampon into her urethra. *shakes her head while I’m curled over the counter laughing* She even asked me THREE times!

*Two hours later*
Co-worker: You remember the person I was on the phone with a few hours ago?

Me: The tampon lady?

Co-worker: Yea, I found what she was talking about. I was walking through one of the isles and this was on the floor so I was going to throw it away but I looked at it. *she shows me the leaflet and I start laughing again*

Me: But this goes into the vagina! Not the urethra! It’s… just really wide at the base…. but does it even support it?

Co-worker: *snorts* No. And I still wouldn’t recommend it to anyone to use.

I’m bagging groceries at my job at a local discount grocery store and this customer (who resembled a wannabe hippy in his mid-fifties, burly with long hair, beard, mustache, and a dirty tye-dye muscle shirt with chest hair protruding) came into my line during a rush. The man put all his stuff on the belt and pushed his cart past me and into the corridor, where one of my coworkers grabbed it and put it away (assuming it wasn’t needed). The guy had about $50 worth of groceries, not a lot but enough that it would be troublesome to carry without a cart.
After I finished bagging, he quickly discovered this.
-Me: “Sir, can I get you another cart?”
(Instead of answering me, the man turned around to the next register over and snatched the adjacent customer’s empty cart)
-Hippy Dude (to other customer): “Hey man, thanks. They’ll get you another one.”
(The other guy apparently didn’t care much, and another bagger watching this exchange went and got another cart. The man put the commandeered cart in front of me, and I compliantly put his groceries into it. He patronizingly clapped me on the back and started to leave.)
-Me (as politely as possible): “Hey Sir, next time -and I mean this with all due respect- could you please not take other people’s carts? It makes things awkward.”
-Hippy Dude: “Uh- [rants aimlessly for about five minutes about ‘efficiency’ and ‘cooperation’ and implying strongly how the customer is always right, which I didn’t hear all of because I was bagging for the next customer rather efficiently] WITH ALL DUE RESPECT!”
(…and he stormed off with his commandeered cart. About 45 minutes later, at a different register, I felt two strong hands land on my shoulders and at first I thought it was my manager who does that kind of thing sometimes, but…)
-Hippy Dude: “So I brought in four carts, you happy now?”
-Me (uneasy): “Yes, sir.”
-Hippy Dude (in a sarcastic, passive aggressive tone): “Good. ‘Cause I’m a guy who LIKES To Be Nice To People.”
(And he thankfully walked away. I later found out he spent the day sunbathing shirtless on the sidewalk out on the road, and that he came in again two more times and creeped on two of our female cashiers.)

I was working the drive-thru at McDonald’s when I had this conversation with a customer. There is a Chick-Fil-A on the exact opposite side of the intersection right outside my store.

Customer: “Can I have a Chick-Fil-A Chicken Sandwich?”
Me: “Do you mean a McChicken?”
Customer: “What??? NO!…Where am I?…OH!!!…Yeah, a McChicken!”

That was the second time that had happened to me.

(It was near closing time and I was standing in line to get a refill on my drink. A couple ahead of me approached the drink station attended by a worker.)

Male Customer: Do you guys have any beers.

(Male employee gestured a selection of beers on tap)

Male Customer: I’ll just have a coke.

Employee: Are you sure?

Male customer: Yea, I gotta drive.