There’s two employees on the floor at the time, me and our new employee ( who’s only worked here for a month). I’m assisting a customer with a warranty exchange on her phone, when my co-worker gets a customer. This older man comes in, obviously slightly annoyed. Be has our only
Man- “this phone isn’t working. No one can hear me when I’m talking on it”
Co-worker “ok let me just take a look at it”
Man ” the lady at the other store (a franchise, while we are the corporate location) tested it. She said you’d just give me a new one.
Co-worker “we still have to test it in our store”
She proceeds to make a test call with the man’s phone to our store phone. She didn’t have any problem hearing on the phone, so she brings it to me to test from the other side of the store. Once again, no problem with hearing on either end.
Me “Sir, we would have to recreate the problem in our store for us to give you a warranty exchange.”
Man “i thought she was helping me, not you!”
Me “well, you seemed upset, so i thought i would inform you of corporate policy”
Man “well I’m just going to go to ( competitor) !”
As he was walking out the door, he stopped and looked at me.
Man “and i wasn’t talking to you bitch!”

(As part of the deli we have cheese department with specialty cheese we have to cut and trim. The table faces away from the main deli so we have to turn around to see customers. I look and saw that they needed help so I put the cheese and trimmer I am using down and turn to the nearest customer.)

Me: Hi! Can I help you?

Customer: What were you sleeping?

Me: (a little confused and annoyed hold up the cheese I had been trimming) No, I was working on some cheese.

Customer: I need [Brand] pepperoni.

Me: (trying to figure out which one of the two varieties we carry, brightly) Ok, pre-sliced or

Customer: (cutting me off, says slowly stretching it out) [Brand] pepperoni

Me: (getting annoyed, but trying not to show it) Yes I get that, we have two types of [brand] pepperoni. Do you want pre-sliced or stick?

Customer: One stick.

Me: (happy to get somewhere) Great! (I walk over and grab the one bag has only one left. I pull it out and put it into the bag and go to tag it.)

Customer: Where’s the sticker?

Me: (a little confused thinking he wants the one we put on the stick when we pre-pack them) I can get you a sticker.

Customer: No where is the sticker?

Me: (totally confused) You mean the one I put on?

Co-worker: (has been listening at the next slicer and scale also confused) That’s [brand] pepperoni. We only have one brand.

Customer: Good. (I put the sticker for the weight and everything on.)

Me: Here you go.

Customer: (points to our sausage case that has signs for what everything is) Than what is in there?

Me: Sausages, chorizo, and (short pause trying to think) kielbasa.

Customer: Whatever.

Me: (as he leaves) Have a good day! (turns to coworker) What was that about?

Coworker: Not sure, I was trying to figure out what sticker he was asking about to. (I have worked in the store for many years and that was the first time that a customer doubted what stick pepperoni I grabbed. Most customers I am pretty sure know we only have one kind of stick pepperoni in the deli.)

(I get a call asking if she is still able to sign-up for a show)

Me: Absolutely! Registrations will even be open when the show goes onsite. They don’t close until the show is over.

Caller: You mean the show is open, OPEN, until it’s closed… I mean, over.

Me: ….Right.

A customer approaches me.
Customer: “Excuse me. Where do you rent wood?”

(I’m working counter. At this point, I’ve just finished ringing up Customer #1’s order, given him his change, and am taking Customer #2’s order. Customer #1 is an older man, while Customer #2 is a younger, college-age guy.)

Customer #2: Hi, how much is a large smoothie?

Me: *rings it up* That’s $4.39.

Customer #2: *bites lip* Ummm… how much is a medium smoothie?

Me: $3.99.

Customer #2: *audibly gulps* What size of smoothie could I get with this?

(He holds out a small wad of change that barely adds up to enough for a child-size smoothie. As I’m about to tell him this, Customer #1 cuts in.)

Customer #1: *holds out his change* Here, have a large on me.

Customer #2: Really?

Customer #1: Yeah, sure. It’s hot out, and I don’t need it anyway.

(Customer #2 looks like he’s about to cry, and orders a large smoothie.)

Customer #2: *hands me his change* Here.

Me: Nuh-uh, I couldn’t accept this.

Customer #2: Come on, he’s put me in the giving mood.

Me: OK, but only if you let me buy your next smoothie.

(Turns out Customer #2 had some student fees stacked on top of an ex-girlfriend framing him for sexual assault. He’s since got back on his feet, and comes in almost every week!)