(I work at a fast food place in a shopping centre. It is the middle of the day when a family of four comes to the counter)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, can I get two kids meals with four nuggets?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we only do three or six nuggets with the kids meals.”

Customer: “Ok, can I get four nuggets then?”

Me: ….

Customer: Can I return this here?
Me: That doesn’t look like one of our brands, did you–
Customer: I bought this at [Competitor]. Can’t I return it here?
Me: No, sorry.
Customer: But aren’t you guys the same company?
Me: No, they’re our competitor.
Customer: But I want to return it here!
Me: Would you return something you bought at Walmart at Target?
Customer: No…

Customer: Does the salty caramel flavor have caramel in it?

I work as a receptionist for a small suburban hotel that’s part of a country wide chain. While running around setting up an extra bed for some guests I got a phone call, having to leave the guests waiting while I resolved this man’s issue.

Me: Hello this is [company] [location], [my name] speaking, how can I help you?

Customer: Hello, yes, my men are at your hotel, they have asked for two beds and you only give one, go give them an extra bed.

Me: Sure, which room are they in?

Customer: I do not know.

Me: Could they come down to reception and ask?

Customer: No.

Me: Okay hang on while I get to the computer. Can I have the confirmation number the booking is under?

(The man then proceeds to give me the number at light speed with me having to ask him five times to slow down so I can type it in, finally I get the whole thing in)

Me: That number isn’t coming up with anything… Are you sure you want us and not the city centre hotel?

Customer: Yes

Me: Can you just confirm which hotel it says on your confirmation there?

Customer: [company]

Me: … Which one of our hotels I mean? It’ll say after [company]

Customer: [company] Bristol

(All the confirmations have the exact hotel name on the email: there are several of our hotels in Bristol so not only is he over 100 miles in the wrong direction I’ve no idea which one he’s at. Eventually we get to which one his men are at.)

Customer: Okay put me through to them.

Me: I can’t do that sir, our phones aren’t linked, here’s their phone number though. (I read out the number slowly, checking he’s got it written down)

Customer: Okay… Put me through to them now.

Me: … You’ll have to ring that number sir, I ca-

Customer: You are so lazy! I’ll just go look it up myself!

I am a pharmacist working in a large drugstore. This takes place in mid-October. A teenage girl is standing in the feminine care aisle looking a bit nervous and uncomfortable. She catches my eye and calls out a bit rudely, but I ignore THIS because she seems to be embarrassed and needing help.

Girl: “Yeah, can I get some help here please?”
Me: (walking out from behind pharmacy counter): “Yes, what can I help you with?”

She grabs my arm and pulls me into the next aisle, the oral care section.

Girl: “Yeah, I’m being a vampire for Halloween. Which of these denture glues would be the best for putting my teeth on?”
Me: “Umm…that’s really not my area of expertise as a pharmacist. But I’m sure they would all work fine.”
Girl: “Well, are there any OTHER pharmacists here who WOULD know?”
Me: (stifling the urge to tell her what a massive waste of time she is) “…No.”