I was working as a checkout guy at mitre10 (hardware store) when a guy comes with a a bunch of plants with discounts written on the side in white marker. I scan his items and tell him to wait while I call up the garden section to confirm the discount amounts and he begins to look irritated. He was old, bold-ish with a mullet. He then becomes very irritated and loads half the plants on the table whilst saying how long he’s been shopping here and how this is outrageous and how he’ll never come back again because he’ll be going to a competitor then proceeds to storm out with a mountain of products still in his trolley.

I’m an Resident Assistant in one of the dorms eating at a table with several other RAs at breakfast about 2 weeks into the fall semester. One of the freshman on my floor recognizes me and comes over to ask me a question. His neck is so bruised from hickeys that nearly a fourth of it’s surface area varies in shades of purple.

Resident: Is there any way I can get a different bed in my room? Mine is too squeaky and any little movement I make at night wakes up both my roommate and me.

Me (struggling to keep a straight face): I’m sorry but most of the beds here make some noise or another, but if it continues to be a problem you can put in a request with maintenance.

Entire table: *stares at him with a-how stupid do you think we are-look*

Other RA: Yeah, that’s probably not going to happen.

(My family had been trying to sell our house for a year and a half, to no avail. We switched realtors and got an offer that fell through right away. Therefore, when we got a second, we were a bit apprehensive. We only found out that it was definite three weeks before the closing date, and were scrambling to find a place to go once it sold. The realtor we had been working with didn’t deal with rentals, only selling, so we were on our own. I work at a health-based grocery store, and one day a customer mentioned that her daughter had just been diagnosed with Celiac, and asked what gluten-free products I could recommend. I don’t know a lot about the subject, but that week we happened to have plenty on clearance, so I offered to show her where they were. This happened as I walked her back to the section.)

Customer: So, are you in school?

Me: Yeah, I go to (name of small college close by).

Customer: Do you know what you’re doing yet?

Me: I’m a psych major, but I don’t know exactly what branch I want to go into yet.

Customer: Well, you have time! When I was in school, I never thought that I’d end up doing what I am, now.

Me: Oh, what do you do?

Customer: Oh, I’m a realtor!

(Turned out that she works for the same company as the realtor that we were working with, and deals with – guess what – rentals. She gave me her number, and ended up getting us the house that we’re currently staying in.)

This happens WAY too often.

Me: [Book Company]. How may I help you?

Caller: Is this [Book Company]?

Me: …Yes.

Caller: Oh good. Can you help me with something?

Me: …Yes.

Customer: Where are your rides?
I work in a theme park.