(I work a reception job in a therapy clinic. We also share the same double reception desk with another clinic who works in the adjacent rooms. The specialist from the other company is working in another city today and the client liaison rep is sick today so no one is there.)

An older guy walks in during one our breaks, my boss is in the back doing reports and I’m just sorting out emails that came through on the weekend

*I’m here for a 9:30 appointment but I don’t know if its in [This city] or [Other city]

Sorry Sir but I can’t help you

*You idiots have messed me around for the last time, I’ve been waiting for months to get [Devices] fitted

I can try calling the [other city] clinic and get someone on the phone if you like

*Why can’t you help me, you’re the one behind the desk

Because I work for [Our clinic] not [Their clinic], but I can call in…

*I already tried checking in with them this morning at 8:15, there was no one there

Sir they open at 8:30

*I already drove down from [Other city], are you telling me I can’t be seen today and now I have to pay for parking here and the fuel to get back (100 KM away)

At this point my boss walks in after hearing the irate guy starting have a go at me

Sir, [My name] works for me at [our clinic]. Like he offered,we can try calling the [Other clinic] to find out whats going on

*Dont fucking bother, I’m never coming back here, tell the [Other clinic] I’ll be having them shut down for this shitfight

The guy walks out now looking like hes about to punch a window

Me: What a grumpy old prick

Boss: What was the issue, I didn’t catch the start of all that

Me: He turned up to [other clinic] 15 minutes before they opened to check an appointment, when they where shut he decided to drive 100km down here to try his luck.

to my boss: What a grumpy old prick

(I work in a factory cafeteria. We serve production workers as well as office workers. I should also add that I work in a factory that makes medical parts. Medical parts that go inside of your body.)

Me: *refilling our supply of milks in the cooler*
Customer: Hi, are those cold?
Me: *thinking ‘and you are an engineer?*

(Sadly, this has been asked on more than one occasion. I’m slightly concerned about these people. I hope they are just working too hard and not think we store the milk someplace other than a cooler.)

We had the policy that our competitors did- “One Coupon per Customer per Transaction per Day.” This was printed on every single paper and online coupon- even the competitors’ coupons we took. Managers even said to NOT take more than one coupon, and also provided calculators to us to help customers get the best deal if they had multiple and didn’t know what one to use. To get around it, people would often have their kids hand us one item, a coupon, and money. But, oh well. It was a different person using the coupon and buying an item. (Poorly disguised technique, because wtf is your 5 year old doing with a tube of Winsor Newton oil paint? LOL)

A woman brought 3 different coupons- the 55% off one single item from downloading our app, a 50% off one single item from the newspaper, and a 20% off your whole purchase coupon from our Midnight Madness flyer. After I rung up her 50-odd item purchase, she handed me all three and when I explained that I was unable to use them together, she went from being a nice, polite woman to a Hellspawn.
She asked why I couldn’t and where the store’s “sudden” one coupon policy was written, and I showed her that it was on each and every single coupon she handed me. Her response was “Oh, that clearly means I can use only one 55%, one 50%, and one 20% per day. And what happened to, you know, the customer is always right?” I offered to call a manager (because I knew they would tell her the same thing), and she instead just took her things and disappeared somewhere in the store.
I had to wait for a manager anyway to void my transaction (which, in turn, made more people waiting in line angry…), and when one finally came up, the woman, who had apparently gone to the other open registers and heard the same thing, came back and spewed a huge lie to said manager, saying I swore at her and treated her like garbage (fortunately, the cashier next to me called bull on it and told the manager what happened, and another worker said the woman had come to her line and done the same thing) and that corporate would hear from her and get the store shut down. Then, she proceeded to use our favorite “insult-” “Well, then I’ll just take my business to MICHAEL’S!” (Fun fact- Michael’s has the same exact coupon policy we had.)
Turns out, she did call corporate. It was mentioned at our next employee meeting because corporate was going to send a secret shopper out on us and/or send a regional manager out to check the store out. If it weren’t for the other employees who had to deal with this Hellspawn woman, I could have been penalized or fired because “The customer is always right.”

(I’m the dummy customer in this story. I’m picking out a new pair of glasses, and I fail to realize that the prices are on the little stickers on the frames, so I don’t look.)

Worker: The price comes out to 354.00 for the new pair, after insurance.

Me: Wow. Okay, how much were the frames?

Worker: The frames were 250.

Me: May I go see if I can find a slightly cheaper pair of frames? I didn’t even pay attention, I’m so sorry!

Worker: That’s fine!

(I pick out a new pair, and go up to pay. They have the new chip readers in, and I’m using my debit card with a chip.)

Worker: Insert the card below, and leave it there until it tells you to remove it.

(For reference, I work at a store where chip readers are used, so I’m familiar with how it works!)

Me: *pulls out card after the reader says, “Thank you.”, but before it says ‘Please Remove Card’*

Worker: It didn’t go through, did you remove your card?

Me: I… am an idiot today, I thought ‘Thank You’ meant it was done.

(They run the card through again, I step out of the store, then almost immediately back in.)

Me: I should have asked this earlier… do you take Care Credit?

Worker 2: We do.

Me: I am so very sorry, is it possible we can refund my debit card and I can put it on my Care Credit card for the 6 months interest free? (For additional reference, I also work at a facility that offers Care Credit…)

Worker 2: Oh sure, no problem!

Me: Well, I’m giving you guys your run today on stupid customer issues, except at least I’m not screaming and ranting at you about it?

(I was seconds away from saying, ‘This should go on Not Always Right’, except I live in a very small town and I doubt anyone else would get the reference!)

(Had just finished putting a customer’s subs into the toaster with the help of a co-worker.)

Customer: “So ladies…do you have life insurance?”

(This wouldn’t even be a story if it weren’t for the fact that she paused dramatically and said it in a way that made us feel like we would need life insurance after that.)