(I’m a supervisor at a national chain drug store/pharmacy and I get this call one night)

Store Intercom: [My Name], help the caller on line 1 please, [My Name], line 1.

Me: This is [My Name], how can I help you tonight?

Caller: Yes, I was wondering if you had [Brand] of women’s incontinence underpants, not the pads, but the underpants.
(I can tell she’s definitely older.)

Me: OK, I understand, let me go take a look ma’am, and if we have them I’ll have the prices for ya when I get back.

Caller: Thank you.

(I go and I look and I bring the products back to the phone with me)

Me: OK ma’am I have two [Brand] women’s underpants. One covers size [size to size] for [price], and the other covers size [size to size] for [price].

Caller: …

Me: …

Caller: I…I don’t know what this means.

Me: You asked me if we hadna product, and I just told you that we did, what sizes we had and how much they were.

Caller: Ok.

Me: Ok.

Caller: …

Me: …

Caller: …Goodbye!
Click.

(I don’t know what she was expecting.)

(I wok in a small retail store in England, we don’t have much room for all the products we can get and sell, most people come in to us for our advice on buying a item or accessories. Only the most popular items are held in regular stock and this usually gets us by, but I have this one customer who’s done this a couple of times, so I broke the news to him)

Me: Good afternoon, how can I help?

Customer: Hi yeah i’m looking for a underwater cable for my camera.
(The exact name of said cable escapes me but its something neither myself nor my colleges have ever heard of, nonetheless a very rare and unusual request)

Me: Oh sorry, we don’t sell those, but I can get you the  number of another company you can contact, i’m sure they’ll have exactly what you’re looking for, they operate out of London.
(As i’m looking through their website for a number I hear him mumble something under his breath)

Customer (Mumbling): They never have anything in this shop.

Me: Well, sir, here’s the number, and as to not having the item you require in stock i’m very sorry, but the item you are looking for is quite rare for a highstreet store to stock, we are a very small shop and all the stock room we have for products is what you can see hanging on the walls surrounding us and under the counter i’m standing behind.
If you were to call us before hand to check if we have the item you’re looking for in stock before you come here, i’m sure it wouldn’t be a wasted journey each time.
Enjoy the rest of your afternoon

Customer (Sheepishly): …Thanks.

As customer walk away, his wife turns her head and mouths “Sorry” at me.
I smile and nod politely.

I’m monitoring the self check-out registers when an elderly lady comes up to me.

– Do you work here? (Clearly my work shirt, nametag and hat with the company logo were not enough of a sign.)

– Yes ma’am.

*She shows me a bag of garlic priced at 56 cents.*

– This garlic was marked as $2.99 per pound, not $3.99! What are you going to do about it?!

*Knowing full well that garlic has always been $3.99, I point at the customer service desk not 10 feet away from where we were.*

– Unfortunately, I’m not authorized to make price changes, but the people over at customer service will be able to direct your complaint to the right people and get your situation corrected.

– I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO WALK ALL THE WAY OVER THERE! YOU GUYS SHOULD JUST LABEL YOUR PRODUCTS RIGHT!

After that, she stormed off in a huff. I was half tempted to offer to buy the garlic myself if paying an extra 10 cents or so was such a loss for her.

(I went to a large business with my grandmother and mother once. My grandma is… a conspiracy nut, and regularly yells at any cashier that she can, keep that in mind. We needed to renew our membership to this business and one of the employees there told us we could do it at check out, so we proceeded to our shopping.)

Grandma: Where should we go first? Do you know where anything is?

Mom: I don’t know, we only need paper towels and I only know where the candy is.

(The candy is directly in front of us and there are three aisles of it.)

Grandma: Oh! I need candy!

(My mother and I look at each other and sigh, she leaves me with the cart and goes to get the paper towels whilst I watch my Grandma. I am with the cart at the end of the aisle and I am checking every few seconds to see if my grandma is still there, I look back and she is gone.)

Me: Grandma?

(I push the cart forward and see her at the other end of the aisle, looking confused)

Me: Grandma!

(I continue calling  her and my mother shows up with the paper towels. My Grandmother finally sees us and walks over, needless to say, most of the shopping went like this, including her calling for chicken as she searched for it. We finally make it to the check out.)

Cashier: Hello. *Smile*

Grandma: Hi, we need to renew our membership.

Cashier: Oh, you have to do that at customer service.

(My grandma turns beet red and starts yelling at the woman.)

Cashier: Bob! BOB!

(A HUGE man comes over, about 6’3 and 240 pounds.)

Bob: Yes?

Cashier: *While Grandma is yelling.* She needs some help renewing her membership.

Bob: Uh, yeah. Ma’am, you have to do it at customer service.

Grandma: YOU DIDN’T TELL ME THAT!!

(At this point my mom and I are horrified. My grandma marches herself over to customer service and promptly starts yelling what happened to the woman there. Bob, the Cashier, my mom and I follow.)

Customer service rep: How can I help you?

Grandma: They told me that I couldn’t renew my my membership over there! *She soaps her card down* You have to do it!

(The woman looks a bit frazzled, but takes it in stride.)

Customer service rep: Alright Ma’am… Do you have your rebate?

Grandma: *Turns purple* YOU NEVER MAILED ME ONE!!!!

Customer service rep: Do you live at [My families address]

Grandma: No! *Points to my mom* She does!

Customer service rep: *Looks at us* Did you get it Ma’am?

(Our upstairs neighbors have been getting our mail)

Mom: No, I didn’t

Customer service rep: Well, I can check the system and if it hasn’t been used-

Grandma: DROP IT, DROP IT, DROP IT!

(She repeats this chant for several seconds)

Customer service rep: *Continues talking, but to my mom.

(Once we get this settled, my grandma ran over to the checkout)

My mom and I: We are SO sorry! She dies this all the time.

Customer service rep: It’s alright! I feel sorry for YOU!

(We smile and than her once more. We walk back to the checkout and everyone is staring at us. Bob and The Cashier are working double time, scanning things as fast as they can.)

Bob: *Hands grandma her reciet and hands us ours.* Have a nice day!

(The door is ten feet from the checkout and in that time frame, my grandma loses her receipt. They will not let you out of the store without it. But luckily, ther person checking has been watching this whole thing and lets us out. It was the WORST shopping trip I have EVER been on. Thank you kind employees!)

(My brother is interning at a baseball stadium where his jobs mainly consist of doing promotional events. A mother with a young son approach him. This event occurred on a Saturday.)

Brother: “How may I help you?”

Mother: “You need to shoot off fireworks on Saturday!”

Brother: *trying to be helpful* “We usually only use the fireworks on Friday for the-”

Mother: “Well, YOU need to have fireworks on Saturday!”

Brother: “Next Friday we will be having the firework promotion again if you would like to attend.”

Mother: “My son wants fireworks! Get it done!” *storms off*