(Me, two friends and one of the friends sister who we have never met are out for a few drinks one night. She seems to fancy the other friend and tries to impress him. Note he’s quite indiffent about everything and is quite monotone when he speaks)

Sister: And this bag is by *expensive fashion brand*

Friend 1: Oh

Sister: These shoes cost £300 and go lovely with my *equally expensive designer* dress don’t you think?

Friend 1: I guess

Sister: Do you not care about anything?

Friend 1: Yeah but you keep banging on about how this is so expensive or is made by some overpaid prat like it makes it somehow better then a matching item a quarter of the price. At the end of the day it still does the same thing no matter how much it cost and your shit won’t stop stinking just because it’s designer

Sister: YOU ARE UNBELIEVABLE! I HAVE NEVER HAD ANYONE SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT!

(Our friend just shrugs and goes back to drinking as she storms out. She storms back in moments later)

Sister: *to her brother* Aren’t you even going to defend me?

Friend 2: I would but there’s no point, he just doesn’t care

(She storms out again and that’s the last we see of her)

My family is getting ready to attend a wedding. The bride has pretty serious social anxiety, so she and the groom have opted for an extremely limited guest list. My younger brother is mad that he can’t bring a +1, and has been complaining to my parents about it for weeks.

Brother: It isn’t fair not to let me bring a date! [My name] gets to bring HIS girlfriend!

Mother: For the last time, she is his FIANCÉE and THEY ARE THE ONES GETTING MARRIED!

(A popular movie has been released and I finally find time to go with my boyfriend after a tough day at work where I ended up starting my period. Behind us are two boys maybe 17-18 dressed all ‘Gangsta’ and talking loudly throughout despite many other people politely asking them to quiet down. They’re beyond rude to anyone who says something and a couple of people actually leave. I am around the same age as them as it my boyfriend so at the end of the movie I stand up and decide I’m going to say something.)
Me: Excuse me?
(They both turn to look at me with annoyed looks on their faces.)
Me: After waking up at four thirty in the morning for my job where I was treated like trash by customers and starting my period at work, you two decided to talk through the one movie I wanted to see. Thank you for ruining what was supposed to be an excellent movie for everyone in the theatre!

(I don’t wait for a response and leave to the applause of everyone they’d bothered and a couple ‘you go girls.’ The best part was when one of the boys tried to leave before me and the other one pulled him back letting me go first. Hopefully they learned something.)

(This happened on Memorial Day in 2014. My dad died when I was six (2004) and as a result, I fell out of touch with his side of the family. They didn’t contact me and I never got in contact with them, thinking they didn’t like me and that they didn’t care about me. My dad was also a vet and was buried in the veteran’s cemetery. This year I decided I wanted to do something different and visit my dad on Memorial Day. So, my grandma and I head out early and get to the cemetery. While I’m cleaning off his headstone, I notice a couple with their little grandson off to the side where the street is. I think nothing of it; there are tons of headstones. What are the odds that they are here for the same man I’m here for? Well, after a few minutes where they’re whispering to one another and I do a few glances to my grandma (with no intention to leave because I want to pay my respects and spend some time with my dad), the man comes up to me.)
Man: *In a challenging tone* How do you know my brother?!
(At this point, my grandma, who’s not confrontational at all, was about to step in and explain who I was but me, being me who wasn’t going to take someone stomping up to me trying to chase me away, jumped to my feet to snap back at him.)
Me: He’s my father!
(The man goes quiet for a moment and I can see the gears turning in his head. My dad’s side of the family is known for being fiercely protective of family and despite not living with them for long, I’ve gotten the same attitude. Guess that comes from being the daughter of a Marine, too.)
Me: *After a few moments of silence* I’m [My Name]. Michael’s daughter.
Man: *In a much more softer tone* Oh my God, [My Name]? Is that really you?
(It turns out that this was my uncle, his wife, and their grandson. After 10 years of having no contact with the family, I suddenly found them again. I still do keep with my mom’s side the most because that’s where I’m the most accepted and where I’ve lived my entire life (long story there that doesn’t fit into this tale) but looking back, I still feel like that snippet of my life must’ve been like a scene from a movie. Every year, we meet to talk with Dad and go have breakfast and every year, we joke about how my dad would’ve just laughed and told my uncle he was an idiot while patting me on my back and my uncle, who’s twice my size and incredibly intimidating, got shut down by his not-as-intimidating niece who looked like she wouldn’t hurt a fly. This girl’s got some spunk in her!)

(My sister wants to show my dad a YouTube video.)
Dad: Here; let me do it
Sister: Ok
Dad: What’s it called?
Sister: just look up (Popular YouTube channel) YouTube, and I’ll find it.
Dad: Ok. (Starts typing) Wait; is there an o in YouTube?
(While this is going on I am just sitting in the corner, but when I hear this me and my sister start cracking up.)