(EBT cards, also known as Food Stamps, are always tricky to handle because I work in a food court area as part of a department store, and generally we serve junk food, such as popcorn, hotdogs, ICEE’s, etc. So, USUALLY, the machine says it cannot accept the card once it slides because it is not considered ‘acceptable EBT’ food. I’ve worked in my department for six years at this point.)

*Guest comes in with a five-year old in a stroller*

Guest: Now, I want to buy an ICEE for my son, but I’m going to use my EBT card. It’s okay, they do this at the other [department store] in San Ramon. You just hit the button. They do it all the time.

(She is talking about the ‘override’ button which allows the cashier to correctly assign an item as EBT approved when the machine thinks it isn’t qualified. This is only when the name of the brand confuses the machine to think it isn’t EBT approved, and is only used when they are buying food and baby items. Generally, cashiers just use their best judgment and tell the guest what was and wasn’t covered on their EBT.)

(Unfortunately for her, ICEE doesn’t qualify as an EBT need, so I pretend there isn’t an override button)

Me: I’m sorry, ma’am, there isn’t a button. The machine will just say ‘cannot buy with EBT’ and will go back to the pay screen. I’m sorry, the only things you can buy here with an EBT is [list off the few items].

Guest: No, no, I’ve done it before, many times at the other [department store], just hit the override button. They do it for me all the time!

Me: I can try, and I can show you the screen it will display.

(When the option for override comes in, I just hit ‘dismiss’, then just show her the screen that says ‘cannot buy with EBT’. She flips out and asks to run it again. I do the exact same thing, I tell her I will go get a supervisor before she asks, because I know by now that she won’t listen to anything I will say at this point.)

(Supervisors would do anything to please a guest nowadays, even it means breaking a policy and using tax payer money on ICEE’s. However, I know as soon as we do that, she will continue to do this and other employees will suffer for trying to follow the rules.)

Supervisor: What’s the problem?

Guest: I want an ICEE for my son, and you just have to hit the button to override it, because I’m paying with my EBT card.

Supervisor: *only sees the ‘cannot use EBT’ screen, I had already hit the dismiss button before I called her over* No, there’s no button, just a screen that says ‘cannot use’. You’re paying with EBT? You can only buy certain items over here with that card. I believe apple juice is one.

Guest: But I don’t want apple juice! I want my son to have an ICEE!

*By this point, the child starts to throw a temper tantrum*

(She finally just gets a juice for him, my supervisor leaves, and I ring her up for the juice)

Guest: My son wanted an ICEE! I hope you’re happy, because of you, my son won’t get an ICEE! It’s your fault he won’t get it. It’s your fault.

Me: *silent while ringing up her juice*

Guest: They do it all the time at the other store!

Me: *Almost have a mind to ask her ‘which store? Because I am going to report them’, but I leave it alone, just stay silent*

Guest: *gives juice to son* Here sweeting, I CAN’T get you an ICEE, but how about some juice.

*Son still throws a temper tantrum, but drinks the juice anyway*

Guest: *glares at me, then leaves*

Me:*mimics a gun with my hand, puts it to my head and pulls the trigger*

Some random douche walks into the sunglass shop I work at. He enters and asks me:

Guy: I won some free (well known sunglass brand. We will call them Aloha John’s) from the company but I do not like them. Can I trade them for another pair here for the same value.

My boss: …No man we cannot do that.

So he asks me to let him try on other ones anyway.
As he is trying them on.

Guy: I bet if I take these to (big name sunglass shop) or another big sunglass store they will let me trade them.

Me: …Nah man they won’t. It affects inventory. You cannot exchange stuff to stores if you did not buy it there.

Guy: Well I bet I can! If you have the ones I have in stock I should be able to.

Me:….No it doesn’t really work like that.

Guy: *grumbles and storms out.

Me: Good afternoon, thank you for calling [Company], my name is [my name]. How can I help you?
Customer: “Who runs your company out of North Carolina?”
Me: “Hold on one moment while I check on that for you.”
(I put her on hold, so she can’t hear me talk to my supervisor.)
Me: “There’s a Mrs. [Customer] asking who runs the company out of North Carolina?”
Supervisor: “Mrs. [Customer]?”
Me: “Well, she didn’t identify herself, but it’s on the caller ID.”
Coworker: “Did you say Mrs. [Customer]? She owes us money.”
Me: “Uh. What do I tell her? Doesn’t [Manager] run that office?”
Supervisor: “We’ve already transferred her case to [Admin]. Tell her to talk to [Admin].”
Me: *taking her off hold* “Thank you for holding, Mrs. [Name]. Your case is being handled by [Admin]; I can give you her contact information–”
Customer: “I don’t want to talk to [Admin]. And I don’t want to talk to [Manager]. I want to talk to whoever runs your company out of North Carolina.”
Me: “Ma’am, all I can tell you is that your point of contact is [Admin]. Again, I can give you her contact information–”
Customer: “I already have that. I want to be put in contact with whoever runs the company out of North Carolina.”
Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, your case is being handled by–”
Customer: “My attorneys will be handling it.” *click*
(I opened her file to make a case note; it turns out she owes us over 8,000 dollars. Also? Our company is run out of Chicago.)

( I work in a pharmacy as a technician.)

Co-worker: *slams phone on holder* ….. How long was I on the phone?

Me: 15 minutes.

Co-worker: I just spent 15 minutes convincing a woman not to put a tampon into her urethra. I don’t know who told her that it was a good idea to put a tampon into her urethra. *shakes her head while I’m curled over the counter laughing* She even asked me THREE times!

*Two hours later*
Co-worker: You remember the person I was on the phone with a few hours ago?

Me: The tampon lady?

Co-worker: Yea, I found what she was talking about. I was walking through one of the isles and this was on the floor so I was going to throw it away but I looked at it. *she shows me the leaflet and I start laughing again*

Me: But this goes into the vagina! Not the urethra! It’s… just really wide at the base…. but does it even support it?

Co-worker: *snorts* No. And I still wouldn’t recommend it to anyone to use.

I’m bagging groceries at my job at a local discount grocery store and this customer (who resembled a wannabe hippy in his mid-fifties, burly with long hair, beard, mustache, and a dirty tye-dye muscle shirt with chest hair protruding) came into my line during a rush. The man put all his stuff on the belt and pushed his cart past me and into the corridor, where one of my coworkers grabbed it and put it away (assuming it wasn’t needed). The guy had about $50 worth of groceries, not a lot but enough that it would be troublesome to carry without a cart.
After I finished bagging, he quickly discovered this.
-Me: “Sir, can I get you another cart?”
(Instead of answering me, the man turned around to the next register over and snatched the adjacent customer’s empty cart)
-Hippy Dude (to other customer): “Hey man, thanks. They’ll get you another one.”
(The other guy apparently didn’t care much, and another bagger watching this exchange went and got another cart. The man put the commandeered cart in front of me, and I compliantly put his groceries into it. He patronizingly clapped me on the back and started to leave.)
-Me (as politely as possible): “Hey Sir, next time -and I mean this with all due respect- could you please not take other people’s carts? It makes things awkward.”
-Hippy Dude: “Uh- [rants aimlessly for about five minutes about ‘efficiency’ and ‘cooperation’ and implying strongly how the customer is always right, which I didn’t hear all of because I was bagging for the next customer rather efficiently] WITH ALL DUE RESPECT!”
(…and he stormed off with his commandeered cart. About 45 minutes later, at a different register, I felt two strong hands land on my shoulders and at first I thought it was my manager who does that kind of thing sometimes, but…)
-Hippy Dude: “So I brought in four carts, you happy now?”
-Me (uneasy): “Yes, sir.”
-Hippy Dude (in a sarcastic, passive aggressive tone): “Good. ‘Cause I’m a guy who LIKES To Be Nice To People.”
(And he thankfully walked away. I later found out he spent the day sunbathing shirtless on the sidewalk out on the road, and that he came in again two more times and creeped on two of our female cashiers.)