The ice cream store I work at doesn’t have sample spoons so we just use regular spoons. This lady comes in and asks for two different samples before deciding. As I’m walking away from her she holds out the spoons over the counter in the way customers sometimes do that indicates that they’re too important to throw away their own trash (I’m only here to serve you ice cream people!) but doesn’t say anything. I ask her if she wants me to throw them away and she says yes so I do and then go to scoop her ice cream. When I come back to give it to her, she asks for a spoon!

(At the time I was a very young female manager. One thing I’m good at is picking up languages.)

Customer in Russian: Put it in your purse! The dumb kid won’t notice!

Me in English: yeah, this dumb kid won’t notice a thing.

(I actually thought about inspiring runners after seeing them take off.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Restaurant]. How may I assist you?”
Caller: “Hi. Hello.”
Me: “Hello. How many I assist you?”
Caller: “Can I make reservation? Tonight?”
Me: “I’m sorry; we’re fully booked. Is there another date that works for you?”
Caller: “Okay. Mhmm.” *Click.*

(I’m a Certified Pharmacy Technician. It’s a pretty busy day at the Pharmacy. An older –but not elderly– woman walks up to pick up her prescriptions. I start taking care of her and then she explains she needs to get her insulin syringes refilled as well. I look at her profile to get the syringes refilled. As it turns out, it’s about 17 days too soon to get them refilled. I explain this to her)

Customer: No, that’s not right! I’m all out.

ME: Well, you’re using them once a day, correct?

Customer: No, the doctor told me to use them twice a day.

ME: Right, well, we need that as a new prescription from him.

Customer: But he told me..

ME: Yes, ma’am, I understand that he told you that, but your insurance won’t let us put it through until we have the new prescription with the correct instructions. So we just sent a fax requesting the new prescription from your doctor with new instructions.

Customer: Well, what am I supposed to do until he approves it? I’m all out!

ME: Well, we sell a ten pack of insulin syringes for $7 if you’d like to buy some.

Customer: Yeah, I’ll take the box then.

ME: No, ma’am, I can’t sell you the entire box without a prescription. I can only sell you a ten-pack from the box. That’s ten syringes for $7.

Customer: No! That’s too expensive!

ME: (obviously weary. shrugs)

Customer: Well, what am I supposed to do?!

ME:(weary smile) Buy a ten-pack for $7? (Customer leaves after paying for her other prescriptions which she also gave me a hard time about. Claiming that they needed to be paid for on separate cards even though she had not informed me of this. I’m so sorry ma’am. I must have forgotten to turn on my telepathic abilities for you!)

Pharmacist: $7 too expensive for 10 syringes?

ME: The tweakers that come in here never gripe about paying $7 for clean needles.

(I work at a members only lakeside park/campground and on days that are extra hot and sunny I sit in the shack by the gate to make sure that the whole town doesn’t try to flow in. The main way to keep it private is with our card reader; when at the shack I frequently put tape over it and draw an arrow and smilely face in order to make people actually talk to me. After my lunch one day I decided to write “No, it’s not broken. Pull forward.” Because I was getting tired of a frequent question. After a couple of cars have completely avoided what it says one car pulls up and with the lady laughing in the passanger seat.)

Husband: *shaking his head*

Wife: He saw it and the first thing he said was ‘is it broken?’!

Me: *chuckling* That’s why I eventually put that there.

(That my afternoon.)