(It’s late and my shifts about over when a man approaches my registration with a seemingly great attitude.)

Customer: “I need to cash my check please.”

Me: “Sure thing, just follow the prompts, and I need your I.D please.”

(He follows all the prompts and I scan the check and it’s declined, something that’s never happened to me before.)

Me: “I’m sorry sir, it was declined.”

Customer: “D*** it! This has happened every time I cash a check here. It’s not your fault sweetie, but I need a manager. Maybe they can tell me what’s wrong.”

Me: “Sure thing sir!”

(I call a manager and he makes polite conversation with me while we wait.)

Manager: “Hey, (my name) what do you need?

(I explain and she runs the check and it’s still declined)

Manager: “I’m sorry sir, but it won’t take this check.”

Customer: “Why the h*** not? It’s a good check! This place is the only place that won’t cash it for me, so fix it!”

Manager: “I’m sorry sir but there’s nothing I can do. There is a number you can call on this slip.”

(She hands him the slip stating the decline code and number to call if there are any questions about his check not casing)

Customer: I don’t WANT to call anyone. I want your supervisor. Now!”

Manager: “I’ll go get him, please wait here.”

(She runs after him while the customer grumbles to himself. He arrives a minute later.)

Supervisor: “I’ve been informed of your problem. I’m sorry sir, I can’t override the machines decline. All that can be done is you calling that number.”

Customer: “Are you f****** kidding me? Why won’t it take my check? Why won’t it f****** cash!? Why won’t it f****** cash?!

Supervisor: “stop swearing at me or I’ll have to ask you to leave. As I’ve-”

Customer: “F*** you and this d*** store and your r****** employees. You can kiss my a** you hobbit!”

(He then kicks over a display and throws everything around my registration on the floor while my manager screams at him to leave as he’s going to call the police. The guy starts to run out but not before turning to me screaming that’s it’s all my fault for being a lazy idiot who can’t do s***)

so this one thing happens almost every time i close up for the night and the start to leave the mall. i will always find customers who is asking me why all the doors are closed and none of the stores are open. this particular episode was unusally weird.

customer: excuse me but why are the stores closing

me: the mall is closing you need to leave so they can lock the doors

customer: ooh, but why are the stores closed?

me: the mall is closed you need to leave.

customers: well okei

they start to go towards the elevator (wich isn’t working since the mall is closed) and stand there pushing the button

customer: escuse me but why isn’t the elevator working?

me: the mall is closed you need to take the stairs to get out of here.

customer: but the elevator worked the las time I used it.

me: the elevator is chut down you need to take the stairs and go out, the mall is closed.

by this time i have to leave to catch my bus home, and i tell them that i have to leave, the last i saw they where just standing there pushing the button. i told the security that they where up there so i hope they got out.

Me answering phone: [greeting]
Client: put me through to [name]
Me: so sorry i didn’t catch that, you’re after [my closest guess to who he means]?
Client: NO! I mean [NAME!] (he then spells the name, no one i know)
Me: I’m sorry, we don’t have anyone here by that name.
Client: yes you do.
Person pops up from behind partition “it might be for me?”
Me: are you after [completely different name?]
Client: YES, THAT’S WHAT I SAID!!!

The customer has purchased a pre-order for Call of Duty: Black Ops II (Note: this takes place in mid-August).

Customer: “So, when does this come out?”
Me: “November 13.”
Customer: “So, next month?”
Me: “November.”
Customer: “I don’t know when that is…”
Me: “It’s August now, September, October, November… so about three months.”

That was followed by a unbelieving, quizzical look and an incomprehensible mumble.

My brother was getting married in a hotel, and most of the family was meeting and checking in Thursday. Due to work I was unable to come until late Friday night. After the mariage my brother tells me what happened when he called down to the front desk Saturday morning.
Brother: Hi I’m (name) and my sister (name) checked in last night. Could you tell me what room she’s in so I can call her please
Front Desk: I’m sorry, due to privacy reasons we are not allowed to give out any information on guests, including room numbers.
Brother: Well can you at least tell me if she made it, she wasn’t expecting to check in until after midnight last night?
Front Desk: I’m sorry, due to privacy reasons we are not allowed to give out any information on guests, including confirming if they are guests.
Brother: Well I’m her brother, you can even see we have the same family names and we both booked under the same wedding rate, can you not make an exception?
Front Desk: I’m sorry, due to privacy reasons we are not allowed to give out any information on guests, including confirming if they are guests.
(This went on in various iterations for almost twenty minutes, as my brother got angrier)
(As my brother finished his story and proceeded to start ranting about the front desk clerk…)
Me: Why didn’t you say you had a message for a guest, and leave your name and room number and ask me to call you? The front desk would have called me to tell me that.
Brother: I’m an idiot!