My school library has a rule- only 5 people allowed per table. My friends are at a table and there’s 6 of us (one is sitting in someone’s lap). A librarian comes over.

Librarian 1: Hey, you can’t do that!

Friend 1: Oh sorry, I’ll move. (Starts collecting things)

Librarian 1: You have to leave right now!

Friend 1: I am leaving, I’m just putting my books in the bag. (Another librarian approaches)

Librarian 2: You girls are disturbing the entire library! Only 5 at a table! One of you has to leave!

Friend 2: Can’t you see she is leaving? (Another librarian arrives- the three surround us)

Librarian 3: Why are you all causing trouble! MOVE! MOVE! MOVE! (At this point, the scene has gathered attention from surrounding students)

Student: Relax, she is leaving.

Librarian 1: You don’t know what happened! Be quiet! (Friend 1 & 2 go sit at a different table nearby, and when the librarians leave we start laughing about the matter)

Librarian 1 (pops out of nowhere): IT’S NOT FUNNY!

(A middle-aged female customer comes in with a bag that has a game in it.)

Customer: Hi, I want to return this.

(I take the game out of the bag, it’s Wii Sports.)

Me: Alright, what’s the reason? Were you not satisfied, did it not work…?

Customer: It’s not the right one. I wanted the one that had pool. The man that sold to it to me at the other store told me it had pool on it.

Me: Ah, I apologize for that. It seems that he was mistaken, as this one doesn’t have pool in it.

Customer: Do you have the one with pool?

Me: Let me check… We have the Wii Play game, which does have billiards among the minigames included.

Customer: No, no, I want the Wii Sports that has the pool.

Me: …I’m sorry, I’m not sure I understand. Wii Sports is this one here that you’re returning.

Customer: I know, but I want the Wii Sports with pool.

Me: The Wii Sports game has Golf, Tennis, Bowling, Boxing, and Baseball, but not Pool.

Customer: Yes, I know this one doesn’t have it, but do you have the one that does?

Me: Uh… Maybe this one?

(I already know she’s incredibly mistaken, but try to find a way around saying that to her, and show her Wii Sports Resort, which I already know doesn’t have Pool)

Customer: No, it’s not that one. It’s Wii Sports, that’s the name of the game. I remember I had it when I first got the Wii system; it came in the box.

(I now know there’s no way to sidestep the confrontation about to happen.)

Me: I’m sorry, I don’t know what to tell you. The Wii Sports game that was originally packed with the Wii never had a billiards game.

Customer: Well, I know I had it.

Me: Then I guess we’ll just have to agree to disagree.

Customer: Whatever. You’re wrong.

(She looks around and flags down a coworker, and basically asks him the same question, about “Wii Sports with Pool,” and gets the same exact answer.)

Customer: You’re wrong, too!

(She gets yet ANOTHER coworker, and the process repeats.)

Customer: I can’t believe you don’t have the game I want. Let me just get the Wii Play, then.

(I’ve had people insist that they were correct before, but never after having been proven wrong by no less than three employees!)

(In our store, we keep certain regulated drugs behind the service desk, so customers have to ask for them. A female customer comes to the desk. I am a male.)

Customer: “Excuse me, do you sell Plan B?”

Me: *never having heard of that before* “What’s that?”

Customer: *embarrassed smile* “Emergency contraceptive.”

Me: *feeling more embarrassed and awkward than I ever thought was humanly possible* “Um…no. We don’t sell that.”

(I don’t know which one of us felt more embarrassed, but I’d be willing to bet it was me!)

‎(My dad’s pouring water using a water pitcher. He finishes and the pitcher is still half full.)

Dad: Do I refill it?

Me: No, there’s still half.

Dad: Oh, ok.

Me: You don’t stop peeing halfway through and then go drink more water do you?

(We’re in English class in 7th grade. The teacher is writing sentences on the whiteboard and asking us to translate them. It should be noted that, in Swedish, we use the same word for “leg” and “bone”.)

Teacher: OK, can somebody translate the following sentence?

(She starts writing on the whiteboard. The sentence turns out to be… “The dog’s got a leg.”.)

Me: Uh, I don’t think that’s the word you’re thinking of…