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Untouched and raw stories: unedited, uncensored, unformatted, and sometimes unbelievable!

Unfiltered Story #56703

Unfiltered | January 17, 2016

(My best friend and I are both English majors and like to joke that we can’t do math because of it. We also work together in a bookstore. This happens between me, my friend, and another coworker at the store)

Coworker: “Hey, what’s [fairly straightforward division question]?

Me: *shrugs* “English major.”

Friend: “English major.”

Coworker: “English major!”

Me: *laughing*

Friend: “And there’s the thing about working in a bookstore… no one can do math.”

Coworker: “Damn it! … Does anyone have a calculator?”

(We had a good laugh over that exchange. And we found a calculator and got the answer to the math question!)

Unfiltered Story #47678

Unfiltered | January 17, 2016

Me: (answering the phone) Hello, Jess speaking.

Grandma: *pause* Sorry, did you say Adam or Jess?

Me: It’s Jess.

Grandma: Oh. Hello dear.

(Note: Adam is my younger brother and we sound nothing alike).

Unfiltered Story #27982

Unfiltered | January 17, 2016

* I’m 8 years old, going to a firend home, his name is the same as his father and his grandfather*

*ringing the bell, his mother looks out*

me : is there [friend name] ?

me : …. [friend surname]?

me : …. junior ?

*his mother doubled up laughing*

Unfiltered Story #32246

Unfiltered | January 17, 2016

(My friend and I convinced one of the girls in my class that the guest speaker has stapled our social studies teacher to the gym floor. We thought that was it, until our next class with him)

Student 1: Mr. [teacher’s name], is it true that you were stapled to the gym floor?

Me + friend: *exchange horrified looks, put our heads down to be inconspicuous*

Teacher: …I don’t even want to know.

Unfiltered Story #67067

Unfiltered | January 16, 2016

(A middle-aged female customer comes in with a bag that has a game in it.)

Customer: Hi, I want to return this.

(I take the game out of the bag, it’s Wii Sports.)

Me: Alright, what’s the reason? Were you not satisfied, did it not work…?

Customer: It’s not the right one. I wanted the one that had pool. The man that sold to it to me at the other store told me it had pool on it.

Me: Ah, I apologize for that. It seems that he was mistaken, as this one doesn’t have pool in it.

Customer: Do you have the one with pool?

Me: Let me check… We have the Wii Play game, which does have billiards among the minigames included.

Customer: No, no, I want the Wii Sports that has the pool.

Me: …I’m sorry, I’m not sure I understand. Wii Sports is this one here that you’re returning.

Customer: I know, but I want the Wii Sports with pool.

Me: The Wii Sports game has Golf, Tennis, Bowling, Boxing, and Baseball, but not Pool.

Customer: Yes, I know this one doesn’t have it, but do you have the one that does?

Me: Uh… Maybe this one?

(I already know she’s incredibly mistaken, but try to find a way around saying that to her, and show her Wii Sports Resort, which I already know doesn’t have Pool)

Customer: No, it’s not that one. It’s Wii Sports, that’s the name of the game. I remember I had it when I first got the Wii system; it came in the box.

(I now know there’s no way to sidestep the confrontation about to happen.)

Me: I’m sorry, I don’t know what to tell you. The Wii Sports game that was originally packed with the Wii never had a billiards game.

Customer: Well, I know I had it.

Me: Then I guess we’ll just have to agree to disagree.

Customer: Whatever. You’re wrong.

(She looks around and flags down a coworker, and basically asks him the same question, about “Wii Sports with Pool,” and gets the same exact answer.)

Customer: You’re wrong, too!

(She gets yet ANOTHER coworker, and the process repeats.)

Customer: I can’t believe you don’t have the game I want. Let me just get the Wii Play, then.

(I’ve had people insist that they were correct before, but never after having been proven wrong by no less than three employees!)