(I’m at work on a Sunday evening after unexpectedly being called in due to a completely booked schedule and shorthand of staff. It’s my last client of the night and she is a total pain. She complains about every little thing I do.)

Client: I do not like Swedish so please don’t use those techniques. I thought I was getting a male therapist.

Me: I’m sorry ma’am but I am not trained or certified in any massage modalities other than Swedish. I can perform deep pressure but that’s it. I really don’t know how to help you.

Client: Don’t beat yourself up. It’s not your fault you can’t help me. It’s the people who scheduled the appointment who are at fault.

Me: (speechless and somewhat insulted by what she has been saying)

(Eventually the session ends and the client leaves with her entourage. I recommended to her that she go see my trainer at the massage clinic who specializes in pain management and has more experience than me. )

Me: (to the receptionist) Worst. Shift. Ever!

(I let out a giant scream in frustration that lasted fifteen seconds. I then cleaned up my room and stormed out. I was not in trouble for screaming since all the clients had left the building though. And yes, I still work there despite my insecurity and how hurt I was.)

Finishes scanning well over ten items in express lane.
Me: Anything else I can do for you today?
Customer: Yeah I have this coupon for a dollar.
Hands me the coupon. It specifically says that it’s not a coupon and for the cashier to not accept it
Me: I’m sorry sir this isn’t a coupon so unfortunately I can’t take this.
Customer: what the Hell do you mean you can’t take it is got it off the box take off my coupon!
Me: Sir, I’m very sorry but it says right here in bold letters that it’s not a coupon so I can’t take it. I could get a customer service manager if you would like me to.
Customer: No, if I wasn’t in a rush I’d be making a big deal out of this. This is f**king ridiculous. Can’t take a stupid one f**king dollar coupon off what an idiot.
Finishes transaction
Me: Thank you, have a great day!
Customer: What ever dumbass.
Now a huge line because in express.

It is 5:30 in the morning, and I am a customer filling up my car at a local gas station. The main colors of the station’s sign, building and employees uniforms are red and yellow; I am wearing a blue jacket and blue jeans. All of the pumps are pre-paid and self serve. There are about 12 pumps and I am the only car getting gas. I am going through the motions to start pumping and I notice a red luxury car driving slowly in between the isles. Then the woman driving the car pulls up directly behind me. I ignore her and start to clean my windows. She honks her horn. I glance up from what I am doing and the woman is staring intensely at me. I ignore her again and go back to cleaning. Then she starts to honk repeatedly. I look at her again and she has her hands in the air with her palms up.

Woman: HHEELLLOOOOOOOO???

I walk over to her car.

Me: Did you need something?

Woman: You need to stop what you are doing and begin filling my car immediately! You are making me late for work!

Me: Sorry lady, I don’t work here…

I begin to walk back to my car. The woman pulls up and almost sideswipes my car.

Woman: You will begin to fill my car immediately, I can tell you work here because you are cleaning that cars windows!

Me: Lady, this is my car.

The gas pump shuts off, so I start to wrap up my transaction. An employee steps outside from the convenience store because he can hear this woman screaming.

Woman: You are just being lazy, and you are making excuses why you shouldn’t do your job (she notices the employee). Is that the manager? I am going to have you fired!

Me: (I start laughing) My manager is about 10 miles east of here where I really work.

Woman: OH, YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?!? I WILL HAVE YOU FIRED!

The woman races over to the employee and start to scream at him. He looks like he is very sorry he is involved in is now involved in this mess. I put the pump away and drive away.

Me (to myself): What a way to start the day…

(Being in a very rural farming community, I occasionally get customers in VERY LOUD diesel pick up trucks at the drive-thru. I usually do my spiel then wait to see if I can hear them before I ask them to shut their truck off. Sometimes I can hear them okay, sometimes they hear my request, but the following usually happens more often than not.)

(The drive thru beeps and I give out a yelp when my headset, usually turned up to a higher volume, suddenly roars with the sound of a loud truck.)

Me: “Thank you for choosing [restaurant], order whenever you’re ready.”

Customer: *starts speaking, but I can’t understand them over their truck*

Me: (loudly, but without yelling) Can you turn your truck off please?

Customer: *more garbled sounds*

Me: (pretty much yelling) “SIR, CAN YOU PLEASE TURN YOUR TRUCK OFF?”

Customer: “Sorry, WHAT?” *garbled voice, then they pull away from the speaker, much to my relief, and reach the window.* “What were you saying? I couldn’t hear what you were saying over my truck.”

Me: “I was trying to ask you to turn your truck off because I couldn’t hear *you* over your truck.”

Customer: “Oh, sorry. I must not have been speaking loud enough. So you didn’t get my order?”

Me: *mental facepalm* “No, sir, I did not. In the future could you please turn your truck off? It’s very loud on our headsets and can really hurt our ears- and the kitchen also has an overhead speaker so they can hear your truck too.”

(Usually they apologize and look embarrassed, while sometimes they look like it never occurred to them that EVERYTHING near the speaker comes through on our end. Luckily, I usually got very understanding and polite drivers. I have had to ask people to turn music down too! Common sense, people!)

This is in a small bakery in a larger chain store. A customer wants to order a cake
With an image on it. We have our own images that we offer that we have bought the licenses to, but people can bring their own pics as well if it is like their family pics or not copyright. He had a marvel character pic so I explained we could not use it, since it is copyright. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said “but it’s a free download” and I replied “yes…for your phone wallpaper. I cannot Appropriate it we could get in trouble. Since we do not own the rights.” To which he replied…”I don’t think you understand me. It’s a FREE download” so this conversation carries back and forth with him basically repeating this over and over and obviously thinking I’m stupid and don’t know what I’m doing. I am also glancing at the time and it is over a half an hour of talking. I finally suggest I get my manager and at this point he has started being very rude in tone and I’m trying not to show I’m irritated. And he agrees that would be best. So when I’m told my manager is in a meeting I call and tell her she needs to come anyway because Even though I have years of Experience sometimes a customer just won’t listen unless someone has a title. So She comes and for twenty minutes repeats what I already said before he finally relents. I go back to taking their order and he decided to pick two of the images we offer. I say they each cost the same amount. And he says no “last time I picked multiple for one price”-and I’m just thinking here we go again! I explain they each are printed on a separate piece of paper which is why they cost the same, and if he did get them all the same price last year then someone made a mistake and it is great he got a deal but this time they will be correctly priced. Once again he starts treating me very rudely and giving me bad looks. Trying to bully me into it. and before it can start over I interrupt him And say “would you like to speak to my Manager again” -and he looks taken aback and starts to say no, but I see her and just call out the question. And she replies yes, they are paid for separately. And then I looked back to him with a big smile, and he is just staring at me stunned, and I ask him which flavor he would like?