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Unfiltered Story #67286

Unfiltered | September 3, 2016

I am a licensed notary. A man comes in one day and asks if I can notarized a document for him. I review the document and see that he and another person have already signed it. I there for cannot notarized it.

Me: I’m sorry sir, but unfortunately I cannot notarized something that has already been signed.

Customer: why not? I need this done today.

Me: the purpose of a notary is to witness someone sign.

Customer: can I sign it again in front of you?

Me: normally that would be fine but there is another person’s signature here as well. Who is this?

Customer: that’s my wife’s signature.

Me: is your wife with you?

Customer: no.

Me: sir, I cannot notarized the signature of someone who isn’t here.

Customer: this is ridiculous! I need this notarized today and I don’t have time for this!

Me: sir, I cannot and I will not notarize this document. By doing so I would not only be lying, but also putting myself at risk. I could lose my job or even be suid.

The customer just stood there holding the document in my face demanding I notarized it. I finally had to get my manager because he was making me so mad.

Unfiltered Story #32470

Unfiltered | September 3, 2016

Student: Is this class an enrichment?

Teacher: This is language arts

Unfiltered Story #56934

Unfiltered | September 3, 2016

I have a very difficult employee that just doesn’t want to be managed, but his performance is terrible…

Me: (looking at his screen) what are you doing?

Worker: Well I finished that report so….

Me: So you sat there doing nothing for half an hour?! (Sighing) Why don’t you check the line? Or review the (department)? Or finish any of the tasks I set you in the task list?

Worker: Well they weren’t priority so I didn’t do them.

Me: Just, just go down to the line an audit it please.

(This happened every day for a week, I try a new tactic.)

Me: So all your tasks are on the board in order that they need to be done, get on with them one by one, marking what you’ve done. If I ask you to do something different, do it. then come back to the board. Understood?

Worker: Yeah I understand.

(I end up in meetings for most of the day, I come back and see the board completely full still. I finally find the worker in the lunch room, I get him back to the office.)

Me: What have you been doing today?

Worker: Well I did that form you asked me to.

Me: That was 20 minutes work tops! what about the board?

Worker: Oh I forgot.

(I look at the 5 foot white board that is right behind his desk, shake my head then go back to my desk to schedule him in with HR, he didn’t last much longer after that!)

Unfiltered Story #47893

Unfiltered | September 3, 2016

(I’m in a very good mood and walking around the house singing. My brother and dad are known as mood killers no matter what the situation is.)

Me: Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof…clap along-

Dad: So, is he dead?

Me: What? Dead Who?

Dad: My soon to be son-in-law. You’re singing is it because he is dead?

Me: *sigh* I am in a good mood, please don’t ruin it and no I would be crying.

Brother: Marrying you is a suicide so he is dead anyways.

Me: *trying not to scream* You think you are smart, huh? You know what? Your girl is as ugly as a duck! It’s my choice and my life so please don’t bother! *walking away*

Brother: Oh yeah? FYI your guy looks like a monkey having constipation when he laughs!

Me: DON’T YOU DARE! And your girl looks like a dead fish when she yawns!

Brother: That doesn’t make any sense.

Me: I know. I am going to miss this I don’t want to go.

Dad: [Brother], let’s go kill him then! No guy, no marriage.

Me: *sigh*

Unfiltered Story #28167

Unfiltered | September 2, 2016

It is a hot day, and I’m in a long queque at the checkout. There is a very well-dressed woman in front of me, with a baby carriage. She is in no way shabby – expensive haircut, designer clothes, unique jewelry, and she seems to be in her early twenties. In the carriage is a very well-behaved baby, munching on a piece of cucumber. An elderly lady in front of the young woman turns to her.

Old lady: “Do you want to go before me? I see you only have a few items.”

Girl, smiling, with a strange accent: “Thank you kindly, but I cannot accept that – you are very nice, though.”

Old lady: “It is no problem, I assure you… you should head home with the baby as soon as possible in this heat!”

The young woman accepts the offer after a few more arguments, and then helps the lady load her own groceries on the belt. They are chatting meanwhile, and the young woman, while she has a strong accent, speaks English pretty well, and politely and eagerly makes small talk about the little boy with the lady. Another man from behind me butts in, shouting at the old lady.

Man: “Don’t pamper that bloody immigrant! They are doing nothing more than taking our jobs and live out of benefits!”

It is very obvious that the young lady is not on benefits, besides, she jerks from the yelling, and the baby also starts crying, which makes the man yell more.

Me: “Hey, that’s rude!…”

Man: “Shut up! She is doing nothing more than leeches on us citizens with that spawn…”

The young woman picks up the baby and turns around, beet red with anger.

Young woman: “Let me stop you right there. Unless you are a professor of (extremely obscure scientific field) or at least a fellow teaching at (University), I am not taking your job, and I was never on benefits, not here nor at home. Besides, this baby is a citizen; he is a son of my friend, and I am just babysitting him until the semester starts. But I have to say, if you are so afraid of me taking your job, you must be crap at it.”

The man is spluttering, and tries to curse at her, but the young woman turns away as it is her turn by the cashier. The old lady starts to comfort her and the baby, and they leave together, the foreign lady helping to carry the old woman’s groceries. The man tried to harvest some sympathy, but everyone turned away. Served him well!