My coworker has handed me the phone because a customer whom she had just called was upset that a certain date for a party had been completely booked (this is common and we recommend booking 3 weeks in advance).
Customer: I have called 5 times this week and someone finally answered me today and now that spot is unavailable

Me: (confused because I have been there all week and haven’t received a single call from her, and the fact that WE had just called her) I’m sorry to hear that. Is there any other date I can look at for you? I have the same spot you requested the day after.

Customer: I want a 10-1 party on that date!!

Me: I’m very sorry but we’re currently booked for that date,our availability changes by the half hour. I have a 10-1 the next date?

Customer: Well that is too early!!!

Me: (confused because it’s the same time she requested, while simultaneously booking this day off) and just so you’re aware, we do not open until 10 so you can’t arrive earlier but you can stay later

Customer: WELL THATS JUST RIDICULOUS.

Our hours everyday are 10-8.

(This interaction occurs so many times that I have lost count – there is no specific customer because there have been so many, and they are all the same)

Customer: *calls to complain about product*

Me: Thank you for letting us know, please may we have the Best Before date and Manufacturing date, so we may record it to monitor if there are any similar complaints regarding this specific batch

Customer: *gives me the barcode number*

Me: thank you, but that is the barcode number – we require the details that has MAN: or BB: in front of it.

Customer: *insists they gave me the right details and that I am not paying attention*

Me: I apologize for any confusion but the details we require are in Date format, on a completely different section of the bag, in a different color text than the regular text on the bag

Customer: *Sends a photo of the barcode*

Me: *slowly and repeatedly hit my head on my desk*

(this happens anywhere from 3-5 times a day, every… single… day)

I went the grocery store after work to pick up a few things. The cashier that rang out my order had clearly had a long day, but somehow managed to keep her pleasant customer service attitude in place. Having worked in this particular store before, I had a pretty good idea of the hell she must have been going through all day. It is important to note that I was alone on this trip.
Cashier: *hands me my receipt* You guys have a good night!
(After about a second she realizes the mistake.)
Cashier: Oh . . . you have a good night.
Me: You have discovered Us. We are displeased.
Cashier: Well, okay then . . . have a good night?
Me: Night!
As I’m leaving I hear her break down laughing behind me. Hopefully I made her day a little better!

(I’m cleaning the aisles when I get a call from my boss to check on a guy acting suspiciously. He’s a tall man, probably in his mid thirties, dressing with a long trenchcoat, and he seems to be checking the sweetener. As soon as I approach him, the guy starts running towards the door. A coworker and I catch up to him and stop him before he gets too far)

Me: Sir, whatever you got, you have to give it back now.

Man: *looking everywhere nervously* You don’t understand, I need it.

Me: Well, if you need it you’ll have to pay for it.

Man: I can’t, they won’t let me!

Me: They? Who are they?

Man: *takes out three different sweeteners from the coat and gives them to me* You don’t understand. You just don’t understand.

And then he just walked away, leaving me and my companion completely dumbfounded.

I worked at a take n bake pizza place in high school. We had no oven, stove, or even a microwave.

Me: Thank you for calling (pizza place). How can I help you today?

Caller:you fucked up my pizza! This happens every time I order from you! I want to speak to your manager!

Me: I’m sorry this happened, ma’am. I’m the shift supervisor on duty tonight. Can you please tell me the problem with you order and I will do whatever I can to fix this for you.

Caller: Whatever, this happens every time. You’re not going to do a damn thing.

Me: there are a few things I may be able to do tonight but if I can’t fix this situation for you, my manager may be able to do more tomorrow. Could you please tell me the problem and we’ll go from there?

Caller: ugh, fine. The bottom of my pizza is black! It’s burned to a fucking crisp! I want a new pizza delivered right now!

Me: … Did you by chance order from (similarly named pizza place)? This is (pizza place) we don’t bake the pizzas here, only take n bake.

Called: I’m not a fucking idiot! I know where I called! Don’t fucking lie to me!

Me: Ma’am, I’m not lying. We are a take n bake pizza chain. We only make the pizzas, not cook them. And we don’t deliver. But (other pizza place) does. Would you like their number? I have it here.

Caller: … Wait, this is (pizza place)? Why didn’t you say so?! *Click*