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Untouched and raw stories: unedited, uncensored, unformatted, and sometimes unbelievable!

Unfiltered Story #27977

Unfiltered | January 13, 2016

(I am German, and [Friend #1] is Indian (as in the country India, not American indian). We tend to make racist/offensive jokes at each other, neither of us taking offense. [Friend #2] is Chinese.)

Friend #1: “[Friend #2] is the best. He’s my boy.”

Me: “Well, you’re both Asian, so obviously…”

Friend #1: “[My Name], what’s your favorite shape?”

Me: “What, like geometric shapes?”

Friend #1: “Yeah, I mean, I was thinking it was probably a triangle…” *holds up hands in a triangle like the illuminati*

Me: “Okay…”

Friend #1: “And then another triangle…” *holds up hands in an upside-down triangle, forming a Star of David*

Unfiltered Story #32245

Unfiltered | January 13, 2016

(One of my personal heroes since I was very young has been a certain Canadian political figure. One day in high school, my class was watching a movie about this person. Like most of the times a video is shown in class, everyone is talking and laughing and ignoring the movie. Except for me. This movie is hard to come by, and even I’ve only seen it a few times. The movie, shall we say, does not have a happy ending, so it makes me very emotional. I’m usually pretty quiet and never get upset/angry in class, but this topic is very important to me)

Me: *almost in tears, getting more and more upset* Shut up! Shut up! All of you!

Teacher: *after several minutes of this* …[my name], please calm down. The rest of you, stop provoking [my name] so we can get through the movie.

Unfiltered Story #67064

Unfiltered | January 13, 2016

At the ice cream parlour I work in, we also sell large tubs of ice cream for customers to take home and enjoy there. They are kept in a display freezer in the shop with a sign clearly explaining the prices. One day, a group of schoolchildren come in and one of them, who is about 12, decides he is going to push in front of another customer in order for this exchange to take place.

Child: “How much is a chocolate one of these?”

Me: “£5.95”

Child: (pointing at the sign that clearly says Vanilla is £4.95 and all other flavours are £5.95) “So is Vanilla £4.95 then?”

Me: “Yes, that’s what it says.”

Child: (Handing me a tub of ice cream that is clearly labelled ‘White Chocolate Chunk’) “So is this the Vanilla one?”

Me: *facepalm*

Unfiltered Story #56699

Unfiltered | January 13, 2016

I’ve recently been getting a lot of spam calls from one number that I’ve been ignoring. I finally decided to answer in the hope that they would give up. Note: I don’t and never have held a driving licence.

Caller: Hello Miss (my name), this is just a courtesy call for your recent car collision…*keeps on with his script whilst I talk over him*

Me: Hi, I believe this is a scam call and I would like you to remove me from your call list please.

Caller: Sorry what was that?! I thought you said scam call! Ha ha ha!

Me: I did. And I don’t actually drive. Goodbye.

I hung up. Haven’t heard from them since, maybe they got the message?

Unfiltered Story #47674

Unfiltered | January 13, 2016

My friend is explaining to his 6-year-old son about a trip that will take him away for 3 weeks.

Friend:I’m going to costa rica where they don’t speak english. I won’t understand them and they won’t understand me.

Son: What will they speak?

Friend: Spanish.

Son: Well, you can count with them!