(A customer pokes her head into the kitchen)
Customer: Could you fill the kettle up, please?
Me: Sure.
(I fill the kettle and hand it back to her.)
Me: I’ll come out and fill up the water jugs, too.
Customer: Oh, they’re full. But I wanted tea, not water.

(In her defence, it was very early. And she clearly hadn’t had any tea yet!)

(I’m a cashier at an oriental market and every now and then a customer comes in that always buys a case of coconut juice and always exchanges one of the cans with one from the refrigerator so he can drink it on the way home. He has a bit of an attitude problem, especially when we don’t have the kind he wants, but I’ve never had any real issue with him until today.)

Customer: Get me a case of this. *shows me a can different from the kind he normally gets*

Me: Sure thing!

*as I head to the cases, my manager comes out of her office to help me. I had seen the customer go into her office earlier and while I couldn’t hear what was said I could tell she was unhappy with the customer.*

Manager: Just give him the one on display, he always makes us open them anyway.

*I agree and begin to take the open case to the front, but I hadn’t made it halfway when the customer calls out*

Customer: I don’t want the open one, give me one of the closed ones!

*I nod and turn back to my manager who traded me cases and returned to the customer. As I ring up his case I see the cold can in his hand and, despite knowing the answer, ask him anyway.*

Me: Are you wanting to purchase that one as well?

Customer: No I want you to open this case and take a warm one out.

Me: *as I begin to open the box the exact same way the one on display was opened* So why didn’t you want the one that was already open?

Customer: *mumbling* Oh, that’s actually a good point… *suddenly much more irate* You know what, no, why is it any of your God d*** business which case I want!? If I don’t want that case I don’t f****** want it!

Me: *stares at customer in stunned silence*

Customer: You need to just shut up and do your d*** job!

Me: *continues transaction in silence, setting the cold drink on the counter for the customer like I always do*

Customer: ARE YOU GONNA HAND ME THAT OR WHAT? I DON’T LIKE YOUR F****** ATTITUDE. *as I reach to grab the drink he snatches it away* YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE A G** A** D*** ABOUT IT.

*At this point I am struggling to keep myself from visibly shaking with anger. My manager had already returned to her office before this exchange started and I contemplated calling for her but decided I just wanted to get the customer out of the store. I finish the transaction, speaking only when I have to as the customer continues to cuss me out. After he leaves I really what happened with my manager.*

Manager: If he comes in here again when you’re working call me and I’ll take care of him for you. He tried to make me give him a discount because we didn’t have the drink he wanted!

I was a own a small restaurant and one day these two guys came in.
Guy 1 : (To me) Get the F*** over here.
Guy 2: Yeah!
Me: Sir, you need to mind your manners. We do not tolerate this kind of rudeness.
Guy 2: F****** lazy bitch!
Me: That’s it, leave.
Guy 1: You can’t make me leave.
Me: Actually I can, I own this place.
The two guys booked it out of the restaurant.

(I answer the phone.)

Me: Good afternoon, thank you for calling (name), how may I help you?

Caller: (sounding like she’s a long way off) Hi, can I speak – (garbled)

Me: (I think I got what she wanted, but I couldn’t be sure.) I’m sorry, could you repeat that?

Caller: (random noises, and some static)

Me: Um, I’m sorry, one more time?

Caller: (more of the same)

Me: Ma’am, forgive me, but you’re breaking up –

Caller: (perfectly clear now) Sorry about that, I had the volume down, can I please speak to (name?)

Me: Of course, one moment please…

-________-

I pop into the bodega near work this morning to grab breakfast before work, having not eaten since I woke up, so I’m a bit cranky. I visit this bodega a few times a week and have a good rapport with the owner.

Me: Coffee and this muffin please.
Store Owner: No sandwich today?
Me: Nope. Coffee and muffin please.
Store Owner: Any valentine’s Day plans?
Me: Nah, just working.
Store Owner: Aw, I’ll give you your muffin for free if you promise to do something nice for yourself today.
Me: [Store Owner], I swear to god, if you don’t give me my muffin right now I will lose my mind.
Store Owner’s wife from the back: [Store Owner] YOU LEAVE THAT LADY ALONE AND GIVE HER HER DAMN MUFFIN.
Store Owner: Geeeeeeeze fine, here. I hope you have a good day anyways.
Me: Thank you, [Store Owner]. I’ll see you next time.