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Untouched and raw stories: unedited, uncensored, unformatted, and sometimes unbelievable!

Unfiltered Story #27895

Unfiltered | October 23, 2015

(I am friends with the girl dating my brother and while he’s away, I’ve been keeping in touch with her. At the beginning of term, I find out that we’re both auditioning for a very competitive choir, where one year, there were 800 singers vying for 170 spots.)

Me: It would be so much fun if we both got into Women’s Chorus!

Friend: I know! We’d have so many excuses to hang out.

(Unfortunately, when the list goes up, I find my name on the final roster, but not hers. Right on cue, she calls.)

Me: Hey, [friend].

Friend: [my name]! I saw you got into Women’s Chorus! That’s awesome!

Me: Thank you! I’m sorry you didn’t, but…

Friend (after a pause): Because I’m going to be in concert choir.

(This is an even more elite group.)

Me: Well, we’ll still have concerts together!

(She’s now my sister-in-law and I have no idea if she remembers this.)

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Unfiltered Story #47593

Unfiltered | October 23, 2015

(We are having cheese and biscuits at my auntie’s house after dinner, we often laugh at my auntie as she has a habit of breaking things or saying silly things)

Auntie: “Be careful, some of these cheese are individually wrapped.”

Dad: “Yeah, and why do we need to be careful of them?”

Auntie: “Well, you might not know which they are.”

Dad: “I’ll hazard a guess that they are the ones wrapped individually.”

Auntie: “You don’t know that, you haven’t looked at the instructions!”

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Unfiltered Story #66981

Unfiltered | October 22, 2015

(I am fourteen, and It’s my second day on the job as a cross between server, greeter, and busboy. One man walks in, and is waiting for his takeout, so I begin to speak to him.)

Me: Hello! How is your day going, Sir?

Customer: Fine, fine…how old are you?

Me: *somewhat uncertain* I’m fourteen, Sir.

Customer: Good…did you have a childhood?

Me: *startled, not comfortable* Um…yes?

Customer: What is your relationship with your parents like?

(That’s when I decided that I didn’t want to know where this was going, and politely told him that I had tables to attend to, grabbed a jug of ice water, and stayed in the far corner of the restaurant until he left.)

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Unfiltered Story #32166

Unfiltered | October 22, 2015

(As a senior with a heavy workload and the recent purchase of several lengthy novels, I’ve forgone sleep in favor of memorizing a long list of anatomical terms for class and then a good read. The next day, I’m in the dining hall with a thermos of coffee and a bowl of cereal, and in a very grumpy, tired mood. Suddenly, a freshman who spoke to me a few weeks back plops down accross the table.)

Me: *Looks up and nods in greeting*

Freshman: *Cheerily* “Aren’t you going to drink anything? You know you’re supposed to drink water or juice at breakfast, rght?”

Me: *Gestures to coffee* “This’ll do.”

Freshman: “And what about meat? See, I got bacon. You should, too.”

Me: “I’m vegetarian.”

(At this point, I’d like nothing better to ask her to leave, and very bluntly at that. But besides being a bit short, I manage to keep from being mean.)

Freshman: “Yeah, but you should still eat meat. Don’t you know its good for you? And you really need to get something to drink…” *Keeps prattlig on, even when the bell rings*

Me: *Stands up and collects things* “Well, as enlightening as this has been, I’ve got to go to class. Good day.”

(Definitely not the best start to my morning.)

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Unfiltered Story #27894

Unfiltered | October 22, 2015

(I’m on a train with my best friend travelling to the city. We have a thing of calling each other random names, nothing horribly mean just for our own amusement. This happens as we pull into the city station)

BF: “Cow”

Me: “Moooo, bitch”

BF: “Asparagus face. HA beat that”

(A guy sitting next to the door is listening in very amused)

Me: “Crap, umm, OH I know, pea brain. Ner ner”

(The guy starts laughing and so do I)

BF: “The nice men in white coats will come for you soon *me*” (Pats me on my head)

Me: “But they gave me a day pass. I have till 6 then it’s back to the bouncy white room, YAY”

(Yeah, we’re weird)

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