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Unfiltered Story #27965

Unfiltered | January 1, 2016

Best Friend:*drops something* S**t! Sorry, I really should really watch my language more.

Me: Your fine. At least your not one of those people who swear every time they open their mouth.

Best Friend: True. If I do get that way, please intervene.

Me: Sure! I’ll say, (Best Friend), you need to stop this f*****g s**t.

Best Friend: … Maybe you shouldn’t.

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Unfiltered Story #56687

Unfiltered | January 1, 2016

A condescending and patronizing coworker of mine has a habit of asking for lots of favors and cajoling people until they give in. He technically outranks me, so I’ve been careful not to get too mouthy with him until today, when he called just as I was about to leave for the day.

Coworker: “Hey, (My name), my office is low on copy paper; can I borrow a case from you until the next supply order comes in?”

Me: (Glad he asked for something minor) “Sure, I can spare a case. Just order me an extra one when you do your order.”

Coworker: “Thanks! Hey, can you run that over to me?”

Me: (No longer glad) “Boo.”

Coworker: “Oh, sweetie, please?”

Me: “BOOOOOOO.”

Coworker: “Honey, just walk it over, it’ll just take a minute.”

Me: “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

Coworker: “C’mon, help me out here.”

Me: “I am helping you out. I’m loaning you paper to make up for the fact that you failed to order enough yet again. I’m not going to go out of my way to make your life easy. Now you can either come get the paper yourself, forget about it, or sit on the phone and listen to me ‘boo’ you every time you speak.”

Coworker: “But…”

Me: “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Coworker: “…i’ll be right over.”

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Unfiltered Story #47662

Unfiltered | January 1, 2016

(Note: I have always been bustier than my very slim sister, and I have recently received a wooden linen trunk as a gift)

My sister: (discussing what she would like for Christmas) Clothes, mostly. And the new Justin Timberlake CD. Ooh! And a big chest like [my name]!

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Unfiltered Story #32236

Unfiltered | January 1, 2016

(There is is a boy in my grade who is generally very annoying and disrupts class a lot. One time i’m standing in line for the water fountain. He cuts me just as i go to drink some water)

Me: Hey there’s a line!

Boy: *Smirks* i don’t see a line ( Goes back to drinking )

(He’s taking a very long time to finish and i’m getting sick of him. Finally he stops, straightens up then goes back to drinking. after 10 unbearable seconds he straightens up again then goes back to drinking. Finally i get sick of him and use his hoodie to pull him up and shove him away.)

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Unfiltered Story #67053

Unfiltered | January 1, 2016

My coworkers and I were discussing violent video games at the circulation desk. A rather odd patron who frequents the library approaches and interjects.

Me: My issue is when people go out and start copying (Video game).

Patron: well that doesn’t actually happen.

Me: Actually, there have been cases where-

Patron: *clenches fists* *entire body begins to shake* (shouting) NO!

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