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Untouched and raw stories: unedited, uncensored, unformatted, and sometimes unbelievable!

Unfiltered Story #32315

Unfiltered | March 23, 2016

(i’m a tutor for other students in my grade, i was helping a boy with a class)

Me: OK, what do you need to do (boy’s name)

boy: I don’t know.

Me: do you have your book.

Boy: I don’t know, what does it look like?

(long story short, he could not find it, and i wasted half a hour)

Unfiltered Story #67135

Unfiltered | March 23, 2016

(A customer walks up to my register with eight small and light items in her arms)

Me: Paper or plastic, ma’am?

Customer: I have my backpack.

(I ring her up and she pays and goes to pack her groceries in her backpack. Another three other customers come up and I ring and bag them up as she puts her items in her bag)

Customer: I need these [groceries] in a paper bag.

Me: That costs twelve cents.

Customer: And I need it quadrupled.

Me: … All your items will fit in one paper bag. They come doubled.

(She proceeds to bag everything by herself and then puts the paper bag in her backpack)

Customer: This is too heavy. I want to return this… And this… And this…

(She proceeds to pull five of the eight items out of her bag)

Me: um…

(At this point my manager notices that this customer has been here a while and comes over to help. Instead of giving her cash for the things she wants to return, he decides to void the entire transaction)

Customer: Wait, what did you do?

Manager: I made it so everything you purchased has been voided.

Customer: But what did I buy?

Manager: Nothing.

Customer: …

Manager: What did you want to purchase?

Customer: I don’t know! What did I buy? This is too confusing!

(She leaves, muttering curses)

Unfiltered Story #18397

Unfiltered | March 23, 2016

(I’m on the shop floor to help customers find their belongings when a regular comes in, shaking from head to toe)

Me: [Regular] how are you?

Regular: (Teeth chattering) OK, but so cold, spent an our defrosting the van.

Me: You know what? Bear with me. *leaning over the counter* [Supervisor]!

Supervisor: What is it?

Me: I know it’s bending the rules, but I’ve got a regular here who’s completely frozen, he’s here every week without fail and the company he works for has multiple employees on our system. Can I make him a hot drink?

Supervisor: Just this once then.

Me: Thanks! (to regular) Would that be a tea or coffee?

Regular: A tea would be amazing!

(Unfortunately there was no milk at the time, but he was happy to have a weak black tea over being frozen!)

Unfiltered Story #47742

Unfiltered | March 23, 2016

My sister is talking to our mother. She wants to ask her about the location of [village]. But she accidentally says:

Sister: When is [village]?

Mother: It’s very steep there.

Dad: *facepalm*

Unfiltered Story #56768

Unfiltered | March 23, 2016

(A telemarketer rings, and I decide to have a little fun this time)

Telemarketer: Hello, may I speak to Mrs. (Name) please?

Me: (In perfect English) I’m sorry, I don’t speak English. (Hangs up)