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Untouched and raw stories: unedited, uncensored, unformatted, and sometimes unbelievable!

Unfiltered Story #47691

Unfiltered | January 30, 2016

(My mother-in-law is Hispanic. His step-father is not, but is a small business owner and has employed many South and Central Americans over the years in the Los Angeles area.)

*Father-in-law walks into the room*

Me: Hola. (Translation: Hello)

F.i.L.: What?

(I assume that he didn’t hear me, as his hearing is going so I speak louder)

Me: HOLA! Como Estas? (Translation: Hello. How are you?)

*blank look*

Me: Que Pasa? (Raises an eyebrow)(Translation: What’s up?)

F.i.L: Oh, I never saw the point in learning any Spanish. What did you say?

Me: Que?! (What?!)

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Unfiltered Story #32263

Unfiltered | January 30, 2016

(This happened in a culinary class where four people are making a filling for a meat pie in teams of two, each one guy and one girl)

Guy #1: Hurry up, we’re falling behind.

Guy #2: Well, looks like I’m better with my meat than you.

Guy #1: I am the best with my meat… GUESS I’LL HAVE TO SQUEEZE IT FASTER!

(The two girls are red and dying of laughter Eventually, Guy #1 finishes before guy #2)

Guy #2: Turns out you’re better with meat.

Guy #1: Well, you could always come to my place to find out for sure.

(Neither of these guys were gay for the record…)

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Unfiltered Story #67081

Unfiltered | January 30, 2016

(My car was having some engine problems earlier that day. I was able to drive it to work, but my parents planned on stopping by to pick it up and leave the family van behind. My little brother is in a marching band that recently did a zombie show for Halloween.)

Me: *telling the manager about the show* And so, the pallbearers bring out the coffin, from which the drum major jumps out and-

Dad: *pulls up to the speaker*

Me: Welcome to our (store), would you like (sandwich)?

Dad: KEYS!

(Everyone is staring, trying to figure out what was just said, until my dad skips the payment window, stopping outside the pickup window.)

Dad: *hands me the keys to our van* Have a good night, dear.

Manager:-EP! Please tell me you have photos of yesterday’s show!

Mom: It’ll take a minute for me to load them on my phone.

Manager: It’s 8 p.m. and we’re dead. I’m not worried about our timer.

(My mom hands over her phone, letting me scroll through the pictures to show my manager the customers, the coffin, and the hearse used in the show. My parents tell my manager about it until another car pulled up.)

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Unfiltered Story #27992

Unfiltered | January 29, 2016

(I’ve got a friend who does chat roleplay (not the naughty kind) with her characters. We’ve introduced our characters to each other in the past, but never RP’d before this. After at least four hours, I finally have to tell her that I’m up way too late and have morning classes.)

Friend: Really? Well, okay. Maybe one of these days you’ll want to do an actual RP. Bye.

(She stopped talking to me a few months later.)

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Unfiltered Story #56715

Unfiltered | January 29, 2016

(I’m a stagehand. One day, I’m replacing a coworker on a call. He’s notoriously grumpy and not well liked, but I like him. Note: I am female)

Boss: [My Name], I didn’t see your name on the call. Who are you today?

Me: I’m [Grumpy Coworker’s Name]. *I put my finger under my nose like a moustache and mutter grumpily under my breath*

Boss: *laughing* Yep, you’re definitely [Grumpy Coworker]!

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