Untouched and raw stories: unedited, uncensored, unformatted, and sometimes unbelievable!

Unfiltered Story #47586

Unfiltered | October 16, 2015

(my dad, sister, and I are working on a project in the garage) Me:(seeing a dirty rag on the table)”What’s that from?”

Dad:(picks up the rag and sniffs it) “Well,it’s not mine anyway”

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Unfiltered Story #56614

Unfiltered | October 16, 2015

I’m working at a big company where one drinks machine is used by several offices. Note that this machine serves both hot and cold drinks including water, but takes its own sweet time brewing hot drinks. Note also that the nearest cold water taps are in the toilets several floors down. While I’m getting drinks for my office a coworker comes rushing out of another office.

Coworker: I need to get some water, quick! [Other Coworker] has just burned his hand!

Me: I wish I’d known that a second ago. I just pushed the button for coffee.

Coworker: Well, stop it and push the button for water!

Me: I can’t stop it. It’s already brewing. I can’t get any cold water out of it until it’s poured the coffee.

Coworker: Why are you being so unhelpful?!

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Unfiltered Story #32159

Unfiltered | October 15, 2015

(We’re in GCSE Geography class, doing a topic on Changing Urban Environments. The teacher is showing some case studies about Manchester and Birmingham and their revitalisation projects.)

Teacher: So new, safer, blocks of flats have been put up for the Brummies to live in. Any questions?

Me: Well, if someone from Birmingham is called a Brummie, what’s someone from Manchester?

Classmate (without missing a beat): Inbred!

(This did not impress the teacher, who was from Manchester himself.)

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Unfiltered Story #66974

Unfiltered | October 15, 2015

(We’re changing shifts when the phone rings. My coworker is polite, but no nonsense when it comes to rude customers.)

Coworker: “Hello this is [hotel]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I stayed there, and I saw my bill. What’s this about parking fees?”

Coworker: “If you park in our garage, you have to pay the fee.”

Customer: “Well no one told me! I demand this off my bill!”

Coworker: “Sorry you have to pay if you use it. It’s not fair to the people who have paid if I waive it.”

Customer: “That’s not right! I’ll sue!”

Coworker: “Do as you wish.”

Customer: “You are VERY F**king rude. What is your name?!”

Coworker: “I don’t have to tell you. I’m disconnecting this call for obscene language.” *to me* “I’m going.” *leaves*

Me: “Ok?” *phone rings* “Hello thank you for–”

Same Customer: “I DEMAND YOUR NAME b****! HOW DARE YOU HANG UP ON ME!”

Me: “You spoke to my coworker earlier? My name is [name]. Hers is [name].”

Same Customer: “Ha! Now I got your name. I’m going to take your job, b****!” *hangs up*

(I told my manager what happened, and he checked his email. Sure enough, there was one from corporate, with a complaint from the woman, claiming I had swore at her on the phone. She got her fee waived, but she didn’t take my job!)

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Unfiltered Story #27887

Unfiltered | October 15, 2015

(This is in 2010, on the day the FIFA World Cup started in South Africa. My mom, sister and I are all washing our hands in the bathroom when a man bursts into the bathroom, South African flag tied like a cape around his shoulders, covered in face pain, and blowing a vuvuzela.)

Man (realizing where he is): …

Mom, sister, and I: …

(The man quickly turns and scurries out of the bathroom, leaving the rest of us laughing)

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