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Untouched and raw stories: unedited, uncensored, unformatted, and sometimes unbelievable!

Unfiltered Story #56719

Unfiltered | February 2, 2016

(We’re doing spring cleaning in the shop. I carry something that looks like folded metal and is very heavy. Note: my boss is part of a muzzle loader club)

Me: What is this?

Boss: It’s lead.

Me: Oh, for making bullets? *I drop the lead on the table, horrified* Can I get lead poisoning just by touching this?!

Boss: You can get lead poisoning just by -looking- at it.

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Unfiltered Story #47694

Unfiltered | February 2, 2016

My sister and I are visiting NYC for a few days and we meet up two of our cousins for dinner. Afterwards, one of the cousins is waiting for her subway on the same platform as us. We start telling her funny stories about getting lost on the first day.

Cousin: oh, I know how that is. When I first moved here, I kept a list of which way I had to turn coming out of the subway.

Me: that’s not a bad idea.

Cousin: I didn’t know much about the city other than all the songs.

Me (singing): in the heart of little old New York, you’ll find a thoroughfare. It’s the part of little old New York that runs into Times Square.

Cousin: is that a real song?

Sister: I’ve never heard it.

Me: come and meet those dancing feet on the avenue I’m taking you to: 42nd street!

Blank looks.

Me: yeah, you still don’t know the city.

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Unfiltered Story #32279

Unfiltered | February 2, 2016

(We are in hisotry with out new teacher who is very interesting. We end up talking about laws about marajuna)
Student 1: ( Teacher) did you know that in like Colorado you can’t some marajuna in public they have special bars for that

Teacher: your thinking about Amsterdam

Student 1: I didn’t know Marajuna was llegal in Canada

(The class tells him that Amsterdam is not in Canada, still determined he heads over to a map of the USA trying to prove us wrong.)

Student 2: that’s a map of the USA

( the class starts laughing especially student 3)

Teacher:(student 3) stop laughing

(Another teacher walks in who happens to be student 1’s mom)
Teacher 2: why is (student 3) laughing so much?

Teacher: because (student 1) has no knowledge of geography

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Unfiltered Story #32264

Unfiltered | February 1, 2016

I was walking through the corridor when I see another student, who is in my cello class but didn’t show up for his lesson earlier that day. We were having are normal conversation about it, when a teacher comes out of the closest room. She is rather loud and obnoxious.

Teacher: Hey! What were you saying to him?

Me: Pardon?

Teacher: Don’t pardon me! You heard what I said.

Me: Um, I was just telling [Student] that he missed his cello lesson earlier.

Teacher: Don’t lie to me! You were saying more than that! I could hear you from inside.

Me: I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Teacher: What’s your name?

Me: [my name].

Teacher: I’ll be speaking to your teacher about this.

I walked away, and she started yelling at the other student, who told her my story was true. She thought I was bullying him, and for some reason he was covering up for me. I never found out what she thought was happening, but luckily she never spoke to anyone.

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Unfiltered Story #67083

Unfiltered | February 1, 2016

I am working the checkout when a young boy, about 5 years old comes up with me to buy a few Tron Legacy toys. I’m also a fan of the Tron movies, so start to talk to him about it.

Me – I guess you like Tron then?

Boy – Yeah! I love it! They are gonna make a second one!

Me – Well technically, Tron Legacy is the second one. The first one is about as old as I am.

At this point the boy just looks at me with shock.

Boy – But your ANCIENT!

I look at his mother who is in shock that her little boy has called me ancient, as I am not that old. She also begins to turn red out of embarrassment until I burst out laughing. The little boy buys his toys and leaves with his mother, and I turn to my manager while still laughing.

Manager – If your ancient, what does that make me then?

That little boy made me forget about all the abuse I get at work, and still makes me laugh now.

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