I work on the Mexican stand at a food court style restaurant. We offer beef, pork, fish and tofu as our proteins, and they’re listed on our menu above the station. We do not serve chicken of any kind. However, this sequence of events happens at least 5 times a day.

Customer: (After looking up at our menu for about 3 minutes) I’ll have a chicken burrito please.
Me: I’m afraid we don’t have chicken. We have beef, pork, fish and tofu.
Customer: Oh, no chicken? (looks back up at the menu again)

Or, the even more frustrating:

Me: (After putting on rice and beans on a burrito) And what meat would you like? We have beef, pork, fish or tofu.
(while speaking, I lift the lids of the meats so the customer can get a look at how they’ve been cooked, and the customer watches me do this).
Customer: I’ll have the chicken please.
Me: (sighing mentally) I’m afraid we don’t have chicken.
Customer: (Looks back down at the lids in confusion) Oh…what was the third one?
Me: That was the fish.
Customer: I guess I’ll have the beef…

(Phone call)

Me: Thank you for calling [pharmacy], how may I help you?

Pt: (obviously already angry) you messed up my prescription. You didn’t give me enough.

Me: okay, let me take a look at your file. (There are several reasons they may not get the full quantity, due to insurance, doctor restrictions, short stock, etc…) What is your date of birth and name?

Pt: (give me his info and while one looking home up) I was supposed to get 60 pills but you didn’t give me enough [sounding angrier]

Me: okay which prescription?

Pt: you didn’t give me enough [medication]. I was supposed to get two weeks worth.

Me: (find the medication on his list, and sure enough he got 2 weeks worth) yes, we gave you two weeks worth.

Pt: no you didn’t I only got 56 pills.

(Now I am super confused as 56 pills is a two week supply of his medication)

Me: yes that is two weeks worth.

Pt: no I should have gotten 60. If I get 120 for a month I should get 60 for two weeks.

Me: well you get 4 pills per day and there are 14 days in two week. Which mean 56 pills.

Pt: no it a 15 day because there are 30 days in a month.

Me: sir a month had more that 4 weeks typically.

(I explained math to him for 5 minutes before he hung up)

A man in a large grey overcoat with fedora and sunglasses comes up to me. When he speaks I notice he has an American accent.

Man: Do you recognise me?

Me: I don’t think so. Should I?

Man: No. I own the shop next door. I just wanted to be sure no one recognised me.

Me: to be brutality honest, I don’t think we’ve ever met.

He fumbles around while I scan his items.

Man: *after he pays* Thanks, and remember: you didn’t see me.

He makes his way to the exit, but a young boy spots him.

Boy: Mummy, look! It’s Inspector Gadget!

This completely startles the man, and as he shakes he starts to rattle. Twelve clocks then fall from his jacket. He doesn’t attempt to flee and he agrees to pay for the clocks before the police arrive, and there are no charges made. He was banned though.

Everyone got training the week after on how to tell if someone is distracting you while also stealing. We used the man as a bad example though, as despite the fact he did adequately distract me, he also admitted who he actually was, which turned out to be true as our shop owner knew him by face.

So at my store, we have a policy that whenever a return is executed without a receipt, the refund could only go back on a gift card. This lady walks in with a full back story on how she forgot her receipt at home.
Me (after processing her refund without a receipt): Your total is $27.94 and that would be going on a gift card.
Her: What? No, no, no. I want it on my credit card. (Pulls out credit card) This is the one I bought it from, can’t you just look it up?
Me: No ma’am. It is our store policy.
She demanded a manager, and the manager comes up and says the exact same thing. She starts packing up her things and leaves while she yells at both me and my manager.
Her: This is 2017 and you can’t even look up my credit card in your system. This is theft. Is this how you treat your customers? By stealing their money and forcing them to shop at your store.

For a lady that is so worried about theft, you would think she would be concerned about the potential identity theft that she could’ve faced if we stored all of out customers credit card information in our systems.

A frequent customer who is already pretty snippy at me in particular comes into my workplace on the one day I work a double this week. She orders and I have her pay before we start the order, so that way she can just take the food and go.

She decides to split the bill up. One calzone, plus a bottle of soda, and a small salad on one bill. The other calzone on another bill. Easy enough. I scan the first three items and tell her her total- $20.67. She hands me a twenty and says she’ll pay the remaining sixty-seven cents on card. I split that up and turn the register around for her to swipe and sign. She starts saying, now wait, why are you charging me an extra twenty dollars? I explain to her that I’ve split it up, and that she’s already paid the twenty dollars, and that the remainder will go on her card.

She continues to insist, raising her voice, that I’m double-charging her, while simultaneously misgendering me (I am trans, on hormones, and very out about my identity) and degrading me. I am calmly informing her, without trying to get mad and kick her out, that this is how the math works out. She continues to believe that I’m double-charging her, which I am not, until her friend just decides to pitch in an extra dollar bill to cover the rest. Even her receipt shows that I did not double charge her. The entire system shows that what she paid is what she paid, no more, no less. I didn’t even charge her for the extra toppings she got on the calzone.

I finally tell her that it’s not my fault she doesn’t understand the math, and she stomps off fuming about her “double-charged” bill and that I should be fired. I shake my head and look at my co-worker, who is now working on the food, and say, what is it with customers lately? My co-worker thinks it’s the heat…