Untouched and raw stories: unedited, uncensored, unformatted, and sometimes unbelievable!

Unfiltered Story #47678

Unfiltered | January 17, 2016

Me: (answering the phone) Hello, Jess speaking.

Grandma: *pause* Sorry, did you say Adam or Jess?

Me: It’s Jess.

Grandma: Oh. Hello dear.

(Note: Adam is my younger brother and we sound nothing alike).

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Unfiltered Story #32246

Unfiltered | January 17, 2016

(My friend and I convinced one of the girls in my class that the guest speaker has stapled our social studies teacher to the gym floor. We thought that was it, until our next class with him)

Student 1: Mr. [teacher’s name], is it true that you were stapled to the gym floor?

Me + friend: *exchange horrified looks, put our heads down to be inconspicuous*

Teacher: …I don’t even want to know.

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Unfiltered Story #67067

Unfiltered | January 16, 2016

(A middle-aged female customer comes in with a bag that has a game in it.)

Customer: Hi, I want to return this.

(I take the game out of the bag, it’s Wii Sports.)

Me: Alright, what’s the reason? Were you not satisfied, did it not work…?

Customer: It’s not the right one. I wanted the one that had pool. The man that sold to it to me at the other store told me it had pool on it.

Me: Ah, I apologize for that. It seems that he was mistaken, as this one doesn’t have pool in it.

Customer: Do you have the one with pool?

Me: Let me check… We have the Wii Play game, which does have billiards among the minigames included.

Customer: No, no, I want the Wii Sports that has the pool.

Me: …I’m sorry, I’m not sure I understand. Wii Sports is this one here that you’re returning.

Customer: I know, but I want the Wii Sports with pool.

Me: The Wii Sports game has Golf, Tennis, Bowling, Boxing, and Baseball, but not Pool.

Customer: Yes, I know this one doesn’t have it, but do you have the one that does?

Me: Uh… Maybe this one?

(I already know she’s incredibly mistaken, but try to find a way around saying that to her, and show her Wii Sports Resort, which I already know doesn’t have Pool)

Customer: No, it’s not that one. It’s Wii Sports, that’s the name of the game. I remember I had it when I first got the Wii system; it came in the box.

(I now know there’s no way to sidestep the confrontation about to happen.)

Me: I’m sorry, I don’t know what to tell you. The Wii Sports game that was originally packed with the Wii never had a billiards game.

Customer: Well, I know I had it.

Me: Then I guess we’ll just have to agree to disagree.

Customer: Whatever. You’re wrong.

(She looks around and flags down a coworker, and basically asks him the same question, about “Wii Sports with Pool,” and gets the same exact answer.)

Customer: You’re wrong, too!

(She gets yet ANOTHER coworker, and the process repeats.)

Customer: I can’t believe you don’t have the game I want. Let me just get the Wii Play, then.

(I’ve had people insist that they were correct before, but never after having been proven wrong by no less than three employees!)

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Unfiltered Story #27979

Unfiltered | January 16, 2016

(There’s this stereotypical guy in my grade, the druggy, rude, perverted, man whore and all that. And my friend, who always speaks his mind. This happens in the hallway.)

Rude Guy: *Slams friend into locker but doesn’t hold him there.* I wanna f*ck you so bad right now..

Friend: *Looks to his Rude Guy’s best friend that always follows him around.* Well isn’t that what he’s for?

*Walks away.*

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Unfiltered Story #56702

Unfiltered | January 16, 2016

(In our store, we keep certain regulated drugs behind the service desk, so customers have to ask for them. A female customer comes to the desk. I am a male.)

Customer: “Excuse me, do you sell Plan B?”

Me: *never having heard of that before* “What’s that?”

Customer: *embarrassed smile* “Emergency contraceptive.”

Me: *feeling more embarrassed and awkward than I ever thought was humanly possible* “Um…no. We don’t sell that.”

(I don’t know which one of us felt more embarrassed, but I’d be willing to bet it was me!)

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