I work in a pub as a dishwasher, and I’m on my lunch break. I’m sitting at the bar, stuffing my face, when a group of three teenage girls come in. Obviously not knowing what to do, and seeing only me, they ask, “Do you work here?” I don’t know what to say at first, since I’m stuffing my face. So, they’re like, “No?” I just point at the waitress typing in something on the restaurant’s tablet, who can’t be seen right away. She goes up to them, and they’re immediately like, “Can we sit on the patio?”

The waitress answers, “Yeah, sure…”

A few minutes pass, and the other waitress, who ends up taking their order, comes up to the first waitress and I, and is shaking her head. She explains, “The one girl asks for a Pepsi, and then asks for a (type of alcohol I don’t recall the name of). I was like, ‘Can I see some ID please?’ She then was like, “Oh, I’m just kidding.’ Yeah, sure, I’ll give you some (alcohol)… Jeez.”

The first waitress then starts explaining, “They come in, and immediately ask her (meaning me) if she works here. Like, she could’ve been just a customer. So, she points to me, and I go up to them. They immediately ask if they can sit on the patio. I was like, ‘Yeah, sure…'” I then start to explain how this story needs to be submitted on ‘Not Always Right’.

(Hurricane Harvey is about to make landfall, and while San Antonio is further inland than most of the damage is forecast to reach, we are still expecting heavy rain and flash floods, along with accepting evacuees from the coast. As such, many people are stocking up just in case, and my store has sold out of several things such as bottled water, bread, batteries, flashlights… etc.)

Customer: “Hey, where are your flashlights?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We sold out of those about three hours ago. We do still have some candles left over in-”

Customer: “If I <i>wanted</i> candles, I’d <i>ask</i> for candles. I need a FLASHLIGHT.”

Me: “We’re completely sold out, sorry.”

Customer: “Can you check the back?”

(Knowing it won’t do any good to tell him I and my coworkers have already checked the back several times for other customers, I agree, go to the back, wait a minute, and come back out.)

Me: “I’m sorry. There’s none in the back either.”

Customer: “Well FINE. How about camping lanterns?”

Me: “We’re sold out of those as well.”

Customer: “Check the back!”

(I repeat my earlier actions.)

Me: “No sir, none of those in the back either.”

Customer: “Why the hell didn’t you guys order more? Everyone’s known about the storm for days now!”

Me: *thinking, yes, everyone has, so if this was so important why did you wait til now to come shopping?* “Sir, we did order more. And then we sold out of that too. There has not been enough time for us to receive our next shipment, which is scheduled for tomorrow, but may be delayed until Monday, depending on the weather.”

Customer: “Well! A fat lot of good that does me!”

Me: “As I said, there are still candles available over near the stationery and home decor area. I’m not sure how many we have left, so if you want those you might want to hurry.”

Customer: “F*cking <i>fine</i>. And I’ll be talking to your manager on the way out! You should know how to stock enough to satisfy your customers.”

(The customer storms off, and about ten minutes later I hear a coworker on the walkie announcing that we have sold out of both candles and lighters. A few minutes after that I hear the customer throwing a tantrum from across the store. I’m not sure what he was doing between when he left me and when he got to the candle section, but I’m guessing he didn’t get there quickly enough…)

(I’m a veterinary assistant, dealing with a lot of our non-medical pet-wrangling. In this case, a woman with a 4- or 5-year-old son is here for their dog’s nails to be trimmed. Animals are, naturally, making some noise in the lobby and exam rooms.)

Me: Okay, just a nail trim, right?

Woman: Yes, [Dog]’s nails are-

Random Cat: MEOW!

Son: I HEAR A KITTY CAT!

Woman: Yes, that was a kitty cat. Now, there’s one dewclaw that-

Son: *after another meow* WHERE’S THE KITTY CAT?

Woman: [Son], stay here with me! So, one of her dewclaws has grown-

(I’m leaning down to see where she’s pointing; our office cat meows from the reception desk.)

Son: *right in my ear* ANOTHER KITTY CAT!!!

Me: *losing my cool just a little* Really?! A cat!? IN HERE?!

(The woman busted out laughing, and her son stood there, quietly confused, long enough for her to coax the dog into my arms and finish telling me about the dog’s nails.)

I work in a fun park for families where I am currently letting visitors on and off our magic train ride. This season there has been some problems with the track, where a maintenance man has to come fix it quickly while I close the rope barriers to let the visitors know the ride is closed. As I help the maintenance man with the track, we suddenly hear rattling and rustling of ropes behind us. I turn around to see a family of two parents, two children and a kid in a stroller lift up the rope, drag themselves AND the stroller underneath, and head towards the track.

Me: I’m sorry, but the track is currently under maintenance.

Mother: What?

Me: We are fixing some problems with the track, but it will be up and running again shortly, so please come back later.

Mother: But we really want to go for a ride, can’t you just let the kids on, at least?

Me: I am very sorry. As I said, the track is under maintenance. It should be done in about twenty minutes and then you all can go.

Mother: But there’s no queue!

Me: You can wait here if you like, but we won’t be able to let you on the train before we’re done fixing the tracks.

Mother (angrily): Fine, I guess we’re leaving!

I was later told by a coworker that the same family had left the park saying they only came there for the magic train ride and nothing else. There’s plenty of other stuff to do in the park while waiting for the ride to get fixed, and they had already paid the expensive entrance fee to get into the park.

The attraction i work at has a promotion with another attraction nearby, where you can buy a joint pass and save about 5%. A customer shows up with his wife and kids and they have joint passes, in the form of lanyards, with a card attached. It’s supposed to also act as a bit of a souvenir, and is a one-time-use thing because we punch holes in the pass.

me: Good morning, how are you today?
him: do we get to go on the next session?
me: yes, you just need to check in here first.
i take their lanyards and punch a hole through the card. My colleague has prepared their paper tickets for the next session and i give both the tickets and the lanyards back. The customer just stares at me attempting to give them back.
me, jokingly: here are your tickets, and your passes back. they’re not worth much any more I’m afraid but they’re yours to keep
him: dont you recycle them?
me: no, they’re yours to keep,
him: but… why don’t you recycle them?
me: you can recycle them if you want, but they’re yours.
(what we would do with used-up passes I will never know)
him: do you at least want the strap back?
me: no, that’s yours too
*literately have several thousand sitting in a box at my feet that haven’t been in the hands of weird customers for who knows how long*
him: well… you really should recycle them.
he just looks at me for a few seconds.
him: can i have a coffee?
me: yep, sure, so they cost $__ and how it works is we sell you a cup, and you head down to the dispenser down there and help yourself.
him: i’d like a coffee
me: ok, sure, but the EFTPOS minimum is $10.
him: ugh. *walks away. He looks through all our merchandise, looking for something to get him over the $10 line. we have lots of cheap merchandise if he wanted something small, even small lollies and stuff for his kids. they eventually move away.

a few minutes go by.

him: the money’s coming soon. can I have my coffee now?
me: …I’d prefer to have the money first.
him: ugh!

a few more minutes go by. by this stage the session is about to start. Finally his kid arrives back, having been sent to the car to retrieve money. The guy waves a $50 note at me.
him: can i have a coffee?
me: sure, but just so you know the session is about to start, and you cant bring drinks in with you
him: EXCELLENT! *walks off*