I’m a musician playing in a bar with my friend Bob. Names have been changed to protect the innocent, or not. Bob and I are playing/singing an acoustic set. Things are going well and everybody loves us. This guy, let’s call him Al, comes up with his own guitar and asks if he can play a song, with one of us playing along.
Keep in mind this is a big no-no. You don’t as a band if you can play with them, unless 1. They’re a live Karaoke band. 2. You know someone in the band that can vouch for your ability.
We tell him no, we don’t do that because we’ve been burned too many times. Either the person gets up and sucks, or he doesn’t want to leave the stage aferwards. Al tells us that he’ll pay us $100 to let him do one song. We reluctantly relent. He gets up and sits on the stool next to Bob and starts to play something we’ve never heard. Bob is extremely talented and can pick up almost anything. So, Al is actually pretty good. Unfortunately, of course, he’s one of the guys who doesn’t want to leave after one song. The patrons in the bar are shouting out suggestions that Al doesn’t know. So we ask him, “please step down and where’s our 100 bucks?” He explains that he’ll get cash at the bar when he pays his tab (they don’t do that). I shake my head and sigh in exasperation. Al doesn’t like that and trash talks us the rest of the night.
Skip to last call. Al doesn’t even have enough on his card to cover his bar tab. He gets in a fight with the owner. On top of that, he starts lashing out at me. I’m just sitting at the bar with my wife waiting for my regular pay, saying nothing. Al starts to shove the owner (a 5’4″ woman), and one of the patrons takes him outside and demands his wallet. Al has $40 in his wallet, less than half his tab, which is given to the owner. The police are called and Al is charged with Theft, Assault, and as it turns out, resisting arrest.
F@#$er never had the money to begin with. Now, we adhere to the “don’t let anyone come up and play” rule very strictly.

I work in a popular chicken shop that does delivery, however head office has decided to change the delivery area which has cut out a new estate in the area which is now about 2 km outside the area now. If people order online in this area we have to call and inform them that the area has changed and thus can’t deliver the food.

Me: Hi, this is so and so from chicken shop. I’m calling to let you know that unfortunately the delivery area has changed due to food safety reasons and so I won’t be able to deliver your food tonight, I’m so sorry.

Customer: well last time.we ordered we got told the same thing, we complained and the next day we had a guy from your store call and apologise because you do deliver down here.

Me: can I ask how long ago was that? It changed about a month ago that the cutoff for delivery was street name.

Customer: it was about 3 weeks ago, this is ridiculous! We’re about 100m from that street!

Me: I’m sorry but unfortunately that is where head office has decided that the cut off point is. I’ll process the refund for you now, again I apologise that it’s changed and we can’t deliver it.

Customer: well I expect you to send someone down here with cash so I can go and buy food for my family.

Me: I won’t be able to send someone down with cash for you, I can and will process the refund for you since you paid credit.

Customer: of course you can’t! This is fucking ridiculous! I’m going to put in a complaint about this and you just watch, we’ll get a phone call tomorrow about how you can deliver down here!

Me: again, it was head office that has put this in place due to food safety reasons and I get its frustrating for which I’m sorry.

Customer: you can go stick your refund and go fuck yourself!

*customer hangs up*

I check complaints about an hour later and she did put in a complaint saying that a smart ass girl had told her that we don’t deliver down there and she was going to put on the estates group page never to use our store and recommend other delivery places instead.

I used to work in a supermarket deli/bakery combo, and one day a young woman wearing an apron and a hairnet comes rushing up to the counter. The shirt she’s wearing implies she works at a nearby family restaurant. It is during lunch time, when we typically get a lot of customers who want sandwiches or one of our hot meals, and there are only three employees, so we’re all busy with other customers. As she runs up, she immediately begins slapping the counter and snapping her fingers for attention.

Me: Someone will be with you as soon as they can, ma’am.

She rolls her eyes and folds her arms, huffing angrily, and then starts slapping and snapping again. She has literally been at the counter for less than a minute. Lucky me, I’m the first person done to help her.

Me: Hello! Sorry for the wait. What can I get for you today?

Woman: I want five pounds of Swiss!

Me: Okay. And how would you like that sliced?

Woman: *pulls an exaggerated face and slaps both hands on the counter like I’m an idiot* For SANDWICHES. Hurry it up!

I slice the cheese for her (when I show her the first slice to see if it’s thick or thin enough, as we’re required to, she slaps the counter again and rolls her eyes, saying nothing), and pile it all on the scale in front of her.

Woman: Oh no! No no. Do better.

Me: Pardon me?

Woman: Why is your cheese so expensive? You got to do better than that for me.

Me: Those are our prices as set by the company, ma’am.

Woman: No! I know you can put codes and **** in there to discount it for me. Come on. I work for a living too!

At this point, my pleasant customer service persona is rapidly eroding from her rudeness and I tell her simply that I cannot adjust pricing on items as I please (which is very true). She spins around and storms off without getting her cheese, which luckily was a popular enough type that we sold it all and used the rest for sandwiches easily. It’s beyond me how someone could pull the “we work for a living, have pity on me” card while at the same time treating another service industry person so nastily, no matter how stressed or frustrated you might be with your day. The kicker? I saw her storming up to the till with a few handfuls of presliced cheese packages… it was only part of the amount she had wanted, and yet I still know for a fact was still more expensive than what she would have paid for the stuff she said was too pricey and pitched a fit over. Oh well.

(Our grocery store gives customers the option to shop online and pick up in store. If we are out of an item, we will sub it with a similar item. There are a couple of things, like wine, beer, coffee,, and organic produce, that we do not sub without permission, because people are extremely picky about them.
One order I shop this day, the customer orders 2 bottles of Wine A, and 6 bottles of Wine B. We have the Wine A, but not Wine B. I call the customer and explain, but I have to leave a voicemail. This happens when she comes to pick up.)
Customer: What do you mean you’re out of Wine B?
Me: I saw that brand, but they didn’t have the specific type you were looking for. I wasn’t sure if you wanted to go with something else or not.
Customer: OF COURSE I WANT TO GO WITH SOMETHING ELSE! BUT HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO GET IT IF YOU NEVER CALLED?
Me: I did call. I left you a message at (time).
(I show her where on the invoice I wrote down that I left a message.)
Customer: … What number did you call?
Me: (Number)
Customer: THAT’S NOT THE RIGHT NUMBER! THAT’S MY HOME NUMBER! YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO CALL MY CELL!
Me: And what is your cell phone number?
(The customer then went on to rant about how we messed up her order and never called her, so she had to go inside the store to get what she wanted.)

I work in a theater. Our current play has a cast of 6 adults and a nine year old girl. On a preview night we invite some local families to see the play. The director gives a short speech before we begin.
Director: This is the first time anyone gets to see this play. We have never shown it to anyone before.
Kid in the first row (shouts) : That’s not true. A girl in my class has seen it! All of it! So we’re not the first ones, she’s seen it before us!
Director: Really?
Kid: Yeah. Her name is Stella.
Director: Stella who plays the main character?
Kid: Yeah!
Director: Well, duh, she’s in the play!