(FOIP is the Freedom of Information and Protection of Privacy Act. It’s what lets the government brand things as top secret, and not reveal it to the public. It is the bane of a reporter’s existence, as government officials will always use it as an excuse to not talk to you. We recently had the mayor on the air for a live interview, and I get a call from a very angry government official.)

Government Official: I need to know EXACTLY what the mayor said when he was on your station the other day!

Me: Certainly! You’ll find a write-up posted on our website.

Government Official: Are you deaf? I said I need to know EXACTLY what he said. I need every recording you made of that interview NOW.

Me: I’m sorry, but all recordings we make become the property of [broadcast company]. If you want a copy of them, you need to call our head office in [city] and file an official request.

Government Official: What the hell are you talking about? What is all this s*** about official requests? Just give it to me!

Me: I can’t just give it to you. You need to file a request with our head office.

Government Official: NO! JUST GIVE IT TO ME! What do you mean by all this “official request” garbage?

(I smile as I realize the perfect analogy to make.)

Me: It means it’s protected by FOIP! If you want it, file a FOIP request!

(There’s a long, stunned silence from the government official.)

Government Official: Oh. Well, I guess what you posted on your website will do.

(I checked the website to find that the whole argument was rendered moot, as we had posted the entire recording of the interview. But still, it was quite satisfying to throw FOIP back in a government official’s face!)

Customer: Yeah, I’m looking for a battery for my Polaris Sportsman 500.
Me: Yes sir, we have that, it’s the ETX15.
Customer: No it looks like this one. *Points to ETX20L which is shorter and longer*
Me: Well all my literature and the internet says otherwise, but maybe the battery tray has been modified.
Customer: Nope, bought it new, haven’t touched it.
Me: Well if that’s the one, your price is *Price*. If it’s not the right one, we have a 14 day return policy.
Customer: I won’t need to return it, it’s the right one.

(Customer came back the next day to exchange it)

*I’m contacting customer support regarding a mobile app. Immediately after dialing, a machine puts me on hold for about 5 minutes. When a representative finally picks up, the following happens*

Representative: Thank you for calling, how may I help?

Me: Hello, is this [Company] Customer Support?

Rep: Yes, we do customer support for [Company].

Me: Up until this morning, all notifications for [App] have been opening the app. Since this morning, they’ve been opening in [Browser] instead. Is there any –

*click*

*After they unexpectedly hung up, I went into the app store and saw the app needed an update. The update seemed to fix the problem.*

It was on my Sunday morning shift at a restaurant I work at

I was in the front bar and there was a woman sitting there, looking clueless, when I decided to approach her.
Me: “Miss, are you waiting for the bartender. She’s in the other room, do you want me to get it for you.”
Customer: “HUH? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!? ARE YOU TELLING ME I WONT HET SERVED BECAUSE SHES OVER THERE FUCKING HAVING LUNCH! I WONT ACCEPT THIS!!”
At this point I was fucking dumbfounded at how she got that conclusion. Assuming she was a drunk, I simply apologize and went back to wiping down a table. But then, a few minutes later, at the top of her lungs she starts screaming.
Customer: “WHAT I WON’T GET SERVED IF MY HUSBANDS NOT HERE!!-“ *She pulls out her phone and starts dialing her husband* “APPARENTLY THEY DONT SERVE US UNLESS MY HUSBANDS HERE SO FUCKING COME HERE!!! THIS IS RIDICULOUS!!”
Me with my mouth agape: “I’m sorry miss that’s not what I said.”
Customer: *Stares at me and hangs up the phone and gets 2 inches away from my face* “I AM NOT A FUCKING MISS IM A MISSES IM MARRIED!” *Storms off and slams the door*

I’ve only been working there for about two months and that’s my only bad expierence so far. I’m fourteen and I feel fucking so bad for everyone who has to deal with fucks like this.

(It’s a slow part of the day in the game store I work at and there’s only one customer in the store. He comes up to me with a game in hand)

Customer: “Have you ever played this [motorcycle racing game #1]? Is it any good?”

Me: “Oh sorry, no I haven’t.” *to my coworker* “Hey, [coworker], have you ever played this [motorcycle racing game #1]?”

Coworker: “Nope, sorry.”

Customer: *pointing to the shelf* “Well what about [motorcycle racing game #2], have you played that?”

Me: “No, sorry. [coworker], have you?”

Coworker: “I haven’t played that one either. Sorry.”

Customer: *slams game down on a nearby shelf* “Well have you guys played ANY of these games?! This is a game store!” *storms out of the store

(Yes, we’ve both played a lot of game, but the store has literally thousands of game titles, we can’t play every single one!)