Untouched and raw stories: unedited, uncensored, unformatted, and sometimes unbelievable!

Unfiltered Story #32189

Unfiltered | November 14, 2015

(This take place in a U.S. Government class. Whenever our teacher is absent, he leaves instructions for us to do some questions from our textbooks. Today, however, we have a substitute who is notorious through our school for being bossy, smug, and generally rude to the students.)

Substitute: “Alright, Mr. [Regular Teacher] left me instructions for you to do [Questions] in the textbook. Bring them to me at the end of the period.”

(Classmate #1, a very withdrawn but smart kid, finishes his questions in fifteen minutes, and takes them up to the substitute. My desk is right next to the teacher’s desk, so I can hear the conversation clearly.)

Classmate #1: “Here are the questions.”

Substitute: *Not even looking at the paper* “Why are you lying to me?”

Classmate #1: “Excuse me?”

Substitute: “There is no way you completed all those questions in fifteen minutes. Go back to your desk and finish them.”

(Classmate #1 goes back to his desk. Since we’re only fifteen minutes into an hour-and-a-half period, he gets out a journal and starts writing. After about a minute, the substitute gets up from the desk and storms over to him.)

Substitute: *almost shouting* “What are you doing?”

Classmate #1: “Um… I’m writing.”

Substitute: “I told you to finish the questions! Give me that! *snatches journal out of Classmate #1’s hands*

Classmate #1: “I already finished the questions! And that’s mine!”

(He tries to grab his journal, but the substitute SLAPS him. The entire class has gone silent by now.)

Substitute: *with a smug smile* “It’s mine now. This is what happens to students who don’t do their work.”

(The substitute tears a handful of pages out of the journal and rips them to shreads. Classmate #1 ROARS, LEAPS FROM HIS DESK, AND PUNCHES THE SUBSTITUTE IN THE STOMACH AND IN THE FACE. The substitute backs away, one hand on her stomach, and another on her face.)

Substitute: “YOU LITTLE S***! I’LL HAVE YOU EXPELLED!”

(The substitute runs from the room, and Classmate #1 kneels on the floor, and starts to cry. A few of us, myself included, try to comfort him. A few minutes later, the substitute returns, with an administrator in tow. She points at Classmate #1)

Substitute: “That’s him! He refused to do his work, swore at me, and assaulted me!”

Administrator: “[Classmate #1], is this true?”

(Classmate #1 is still crying, so I speak up.)

Me: “No. No it’s not. [Classmate #1] did his work, but Ms. [Substitute] wouldn’t accept it, and she slapped him and tore up his journal when he tried to write in it.”

(The rest of the class speaks up, against the substitute.)

Substitute: “YOU LYING-”

Classmate #2: “I recorded the whole thing!”

(The substitute goes pale, and the administrator reviews the recording. He orders the substitute to the office, and asks Classmate #1 if he’d like to go to the nurse. They all leave, and we don’t see Classmate #1 until next class, when thanks us for standing up for him. We later learn that the substitute was banned from ever teaching in a school again!)

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Unfiltered Story #27914

Unfiltered | November 13, 2015

(My school gets out a couple of minutes before my younger brothers so I normally walk over and grab him. As I am walking over one dayI find my self next to a baby in her stroller, a mother, and a father walking together. The baby smiles at me and waves)

Me:(Smiles and waves back.)

Mother: how dare you wave at my child! I don’t even know you! Don’t ever do that again or I will call the police for stalking!

Me: I am very sorry ma’am, I did not mean to upset you, all I did was wave because your baby waved at me.

Mother: My Amy would never do anything that rude.

(The next day as I am walking over a find myself next to the same woman.)

Little girl:(smiles and waves)

Me: (ignores because of what had happened yesterday.)

Mother: Learn some manners young man. My Amy waved and you completely ignored her. Disrespectful people like you make me sick.

(The father who has been completely silent the steps in)

Father: Sandra, you are embarrassing yourself, this is the exact same young man who you yelled at yesterday for waving at Amy. Please get in the car before you hurt yourself.

Woman: (silently walks off)

Father: I’m sorry she gets excited when she hasn’t hasn’t eaten in a while.

Me:(trying not laugh thanks him and walks off.)

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Unfiltered Story #47614

Unfiltered | November 13, 2015

(My brother loves a good conspiracy theory or two… just as much as he loves quoting movies.)

Me: Wanna go to the [local festival]. It’s free if you donate blood.

Brother: You do know that donating blood is a pyramid scheme perpatrated by Dracular, right?

Me: Of course it’s Dracula’s scheme. Why would I donate my tasty o-positive blood to dying people when there are vampires going hungry in third world countries?

Brother: We will have to take turns watching my kids as they draw out my life force.

Me: I can handle that. I may have to employ bribery. If not bribery, then shrubbery.

Brother: I know a shrubberer. His name is Karl the shrubberer. He does shrubberies. But he gets mad if you use the word “nee” to old ladies. Will you drive?

Me: I’ll drive, but only because brave Sir Robin ran away, bravely ran away, away.

Brother: That’s good to know because in order for me to drive you would have to cut down the mightiest tree in the forest using only a… wait for it… a herring.

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Unfiltered Story #56642

Unfiltered | November 13, 2015

(I’m at Disneyland with my parents they let me loose for a minute, and I decided to hit downtown disney and I spotted a chocolate shop. I picked up a candy bar and headed to the checkout.)

Me: (Note, I’m 11 at this point in time.) “One chocolate caramel bar please!”

Cashier: Where are your parents?(Note: Parents are next door.)

Me: oh they aren’t here right now…

Cashier: (Cutting me off) “Oh my god it’s people like your parents that ruin this place, letting these heathens loose to run amok around the park! And you should know you need an adult to buy candy! Well you would if you weren’t raised by idiots.”

(A women walks over to me from the display next to the register)

Women: Jimmy! (Note: not my name) “There you are! I’m so sorry we got separated in th crowd. Let me pay for that candy bar!”

(My “mom” paid for the candy bar and took me to the exit. I thanked her a bunch and gave her half of the bar. I had a wonderful rest of the day.)

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Unfiltered Story #67003

Unfiltered | November 13, 2015

In the holiday season a few years ago, I was hired on to fill online orders. As it grew closer and closer to Christmas, the weirder the orders were.

One night I received a call on the internal phone line.

Me: “Hello, This is the online agent, how can I help you?

Customer: “Hi, I’d like a to place an order for something at your store. I say it at -the next town over- and would like to order it here.

Me: “If you pull up our site, you can order it there. We don’t take orders unless they’re submitted online.”

Customer: “I saw it at the other store. Can you go see if you have it?”

I ask the customer what the item is and it’s something I’ve never heard of.It doesn’t help that they’re extremely vague about it. I also can’t take orders through the phone. We just don’t work that way.

Me: “I’m sure if you stop in we can help you find it. Unfortunately the item you’re looking for is one I haven’t heard of. Another department might know about it if you come and give us a visit.”

Customer: “I don’t have a car. Would it be possible for someone to pick me up?”

Me: “Sir, we don’t do that.”

Customer: ” I also don’t have a computer. Could you order the item for me?”

Me: “Sir, I can’t do that. I have no way of ordering the item for you.”

Customer: “But you’re the online person. You’re savvy with computers. Don’t you have one you an use? Like a personal one?”

Me: “I’m sorry sir. I can’t do that.”

Customer: “You guys don’t provide transportation or allow me to place an order. What kind of company is this?”

He proceeds to violently hang up. Good thing too, I just got another strange order.

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