Untouched and raw stories: unedited, uncensored, unformatted, and sometimes unbelievable!

Unfiltered Story #27891

Unfiltered | October 19, 2015

(Me and some other girls aged twelve to thirteen are waiting outside a classroom to get HPV inoculations. I’m a big Divergent fan, and in Divergent there are lots of different “serums” that when in injected induce hallucinations, relax you, make you tell the truth and etc. I’m standing by the wall waiting…)

Me:(muttering to myself) “I’m just going to pretend I’m in Divergent.”

(One of my friends is staring at me.)

Me: “I’m in Divergent, I’m in Divergent…”

My Friend: “Did you just say you’re not a virgin?!”

Me: “WHAT?! No!”

(We had a big laugh over that – my friend says hilarious things!)

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Unfiltered Story #47589

Unfiltered | October 19, 2015

Mom: Did your brother call you to wish you a happy birthday?

Me: No.

Mom: Oh, that son of a bitch.

(I watch mom’s face as she slowly works out what she said.)

Me: I’m not certain that’s what you want to say, mom.

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Unfiltered Story #56616

Unfiltered | October 19, 2015

(My female coworker and I are in a silly mood. I’m also female. One day, my other coworker, a male, and called to the GM’s office. This coworker is known to be a ‘bad boy’ and yesterday he was caught drinking at work, a no no. The GM is another young man, very handsome also.)

Female Coworker: “What do you think they’re talking about in there?”

Me: “Probably the GM is yelling at him for drinking on the job.”

(An hour passes. Then two.)

Female Coworker: “Wow, it’s been a long time! What are they DOING in there?”

Me: “….” *raising eyebrows in a suggestive manner*

Female Coworker: “Oh my!”

(We both giggle like idiots. Finally after a few more minutes, my male coworker comes out, looking very grim. We found out that he’d been suspended for consuming alcohol while working.)

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Unfiltered Story #32162

Unfiltered | October 18, 2015

*this happened to one of my friends during health class, specifically during the week of sex ed*

Sex Ed Teacher: “Now kids, contrary to popular belief, everyone’s penis is the same size.”

*at this point, a random kid in the back pipes up*

Student:*holding his hand about 2 feet above the desk* “No, my d*** THIS big!”

Teacher: “[STUDENT]!! You will NOT use foul language in my class!”

Sex Ed Teacher: “The politically correct term is ‘penis.’

Student: “Ok. My penis THIS big!”

*my friend just silently laughs*

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Unfiltered Story #66977

Unfiltered | October 18, 2015

A couple entered the furniture store I work at. They were older folks, and said they were looking for many things. I gave them a very short version of the floor layout, and asked them if it was alright for me to check on them sometimes to make sure their questions were answered. They said this was fine.

The first time I check on them, the very friendly husband asks me some questions, I answer them and dismiss myself to allow them to keep looking in peace.

The second time I check on them, the husband finds a very nice oak CD rack and asks me if we have anything more narrow. I tell him I might, and that I’ll check around the store and catch up to them in a few minutes. I dismiss myself after answering another question of his about a table.

I find an item that matches the description of the oak CD rack, but I cannot find the husband for the life of me. I see the wife walking, and go to inform her that I’d found it.

Me: “Oh, ma’am, about that item your husband was looking–”

Woman: “Look, I didn’t come here to chat! I came here to JUST LOOK!”

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, I didn’t mean to offend you.”

Woman: “Well you did!’

Me: “Just trying to feed my children, ma’am.”

With that, I look down at the floor, turn on heel and walk away pitifully. It has the desired effect (I don’t even have kids), and the customer loses all of her zeal, looks down at the floor, and walks straight out of the store in shame.

Maybe she’ll think twice from now on before she explodes on another retail salesperson for no reason at all.

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