It’s been a running joke between my brothers and I for over ten years now, that if our mother isn’t paying attention while we talk to her we’ll say “Purple Monkey Dishwasher” and she’s instantly focused on what we’re saying.
My toddler has a habit of getting distracted very easily as well, to the point where one day I rolled my eyes and called her “space cadet”. Of course, she instantly turned around to me. It works every time she’s not listening, just like her Granny…
(I’m meeting some people at a bar for a meetup, and I haven’t been to a bar in a long time. Last time that I went, I sat down and showed my ID when asked, and got served. I know nothing of doormen. So I was surprised when what later I found out was a doorman who looked like he could be in high school came over to me when I entered and was looking around for my meetup. He had the biggest, smuggest smirk on his face.)
Doorman: “ID!!!”
Me: *pauses, shows him*
Doorman: *smirk slowly fades* “…….OK…..I’ll LET you through….”
(Why thank you! Not all of us young looking people are underage! And a bar would be the last place I’d want to sneak into even if I were.)
(My year of birth was put down as 30 years earlier in error at a GP surgery prior to my move into London, this was enough to get arrangements for healthcare for women in their late forties and fifties when I was in my mid-twenties. After I moved into London, I got a letter inviting me for a mammary scan. After flagging this with my GP yielded nothing, I called the hospital number provided on the letter)
Receptionist: [Hospital] breast clinic.
Me: Hi, I got a letter about a mammary scan.
Receptionist: Ok, can I confirm your name and date of birth?
Me: My GP in [previous residence] entered my year of birth as but it’s actually [correct year] and I think my being on your system is a hiccup from that. I’m not in my forties yet. In fact, that year is older than my parents.
Receptionist: Ok, can I confirm your name just to note that on my system please?
(I give my name and he finds it)
Receptionist: Ok [my name] I’ve noted that on the system, I’m sorry that you’ve been dealing with that.
Me: I’m sorry to have taken your time from arranging lifesaving appointments over a mistake miles away. Thank you.
(The NHS hasn’t sent anything on the wrong year of birth since.)
*I work for a pet food manufacturer, and have been here for almost 3 years. we have many pet food brands, some of which we purchased from an even larger pet food manufacturer many years ago. Many staff from this manufacturer have moved over to our company, so they have knowledge on all the brands and any changes that may have been done before my time. For as long as i have been here, our adult dog foods have been 8kg, while our puppy and senior are 6kg*
Me: Good morning ma’am, how can i assist you
Customer: Hello, I have a small complaint about one of your products. I feel you have been really underhanded in this matter and i just HAVE to lodge a complaint.
Me: Oh dear, what seems to be the problem?
Customer: I have bought your [Brand] dog food for many years now, and i like to alternate between your adult food, and your senior food. Recently, we bought your senior food, and it felt lighter. When we looked, we saw you had sneakily changed it from 10kg to 6kg! i feel this is very underhanded, because your trying to cheat your customers while keeping the price the same!
Me: oh! I’m sorry ma’am, there may be some confusion. Our senior food has always been 6kg, no recent changes have been made to our sizes.
Customer: Well you may not have changed it right now, but you did it a while ago! i know it was 10kg!
Me: Ma’am, iv been here for 3 years and its always been 6kg. It might have been changed when it was still owned by [Other Manufacturer], but that would have had to be many years ago.
Customer: Exactly! You see, you changed it! I knew it was 10kg! I’m so tired of companies changing the size of their products while keeping the price the same, its underhanded and it cheats the customers!
*she then proceeds to go on a rant for 10 minutes about how other products like chocolates or sugar or baking goods used to be bigger, but now they have been made smaller with the same price. As this isn’t my field and i cannot do anything for this, I just keep agreeing and apologizing*
Customer: well, that’s that! i still feel that what you have done is underhanded, and i wont be supporting your brand any more!
Me: We are sorry to hear that ma’am, but thank you for taking the time to give us your feedback.
*I later found out from one of my coworkers that used to work at [Larger Manufacturer] that the change was made when she still worked there, over 10 years ago*
I’m planning an overseas trip, so I’m looking at hotels to book online. I am reading reviews for a particular hotel, one of which has caught my eye. The score isn’t too low, but it’s noticeably below average.
First, I looked at all the positive things this reviewer had to say.
“Staff speaks fluent English”
“Very friendly & hospitable”
“Close to many restaurants, shops, and parks”
“Excellent ocean view”
“Very clean”
These are all very good things to see. Then I shifted my focus to the negative side, just to see why this hotel scored so low with this reviewer.
“Staff does not speak a single word of Japanese.”
That is literally the only bad thing this person had to say about this hotel. Somehow, this was enough to merit a 4.7 out of 10. Never mind the fact that this reviewer seems to understand English more than adequately, or that very few countries outside of Japan speak Japanese, the country that this hotel is located in doesn’t even get that many Japanese tourists!
I ended up booking a room at this hotel since most of the other reviews were overwhelmingly positive.
